Counterweight
by SukiH
Summary: ****WARNING - NO DIALOGUE!**** Bella & Edward inhabit different worlds - he's a wealthy businessman and she's a former art student. But can she forget her own heartbreak to help him? And whatever happened to Alice? Rated M for a reason.
1. Chapter 1

COUNTERWEIGHT

 _(noun) weight in an opposite scale; a counterbalancing influence or force_

CHAPTER 1

Despite his thirty three years Edward was feeling old.

He yawned and stretched as he stepped out onto the pavement, wishing he hadn't let Carlisle persuade him to stay the night. After an enjoyable evening, but a few too many glasses of wine, he was now at the wrong end of town for his early morning meetings and feeling decidedly under par. Reaching for the mobile phone in his overcoat pocket, he grimaced in irritation when he saw his driver's name flash onto the screen, correctly anticipating a further delay.

Reluctant to disturb Carlisle by going back upstairs, Edward's gaze was drawn towards a small café tucked in between the mansion flats which lined the streets in this part of West London. Although it was so early that the street lights were still flickering off in the greyish dawn, the café's shutters were up and there appeared to be signs of life inside, so pulling his coat more tightly around himself to keep out the chill, he walked briskly towards the door.

There were only two other customers inside, but the small café was clean and bright and after sliding his tall frame into a comfortable booth, Edward decided to order breakfast while he waited for his driver to arrive with the car. Luckily he had gone straight from the office to his uncle's flat the previous evening taking the paperwork with him, so at least he had everything he needed for his first meeting and after removing the first batch of papers from his briefcase, he estimated he should have enough time to go over the rest in the car.

Working methodically, he was soon engrossed, looking up only when a yawning waitress arrived with his coffee, eggs and bacon. Politely but firmly discouraging her attempts at conversation, he quickly demolished the plate of food in front of him and settled his concentration back on the task at hand, only to be interrupted a second later when the door to the street suddenly flew open with a loud bang, rattling the crockery on the table and fluttering his papers in the draught.

He looked up to find a rowdy group of post party revellers had stumbled in and were settling at a nearby table, filling the warm room with cigarette smoke, loud voices and raucous laughter. Trying to rein in his annoyance at the interruption, he glanced towards the group, categorising them as early twenties media types, more usually found in the trendy East End than this solidly respectable and anonymous neighbourhood.

As he watched over the rim of his coffee cup, one of the boys ambushed a pretty brunette in a scarlet sequinned slip of a dress and pulled her onto his lap. Laughing, wriggling and exposing most of her legs as her miniscule frock slid further up her thighs, the girl's breathless exclamations and writhing body captured Edward's attention and sent an unexpected and disconcertingly strong spike of desire racing through him.

He suddenly found himself imagining how it would feel to caress the soft smoothness of her skin, which looked beautifully flawless, even under the harsh illumination of the overhead strip lighting. Her small stature and lean and athletic body, softened by just the right amount of curves, gave her the appearance of being both fragile and strong, while the undeniable spark in her otherwise limpid brown eyes implied a challenge.

Mesmerised, Edward was unable to look away as her playful assailant battled to hold her still while whispering into her ear and pressing greedy kisses down her neck.

Oblivious of their audience the couple continued their brazen display for several minutes, until the girl pulled herself free and stumbled over to another boy, nestled into his side and appeared to fall asleep. And apart from the occasional squeal, raised voice and burst of laughter, the rest of the group settled down when the waitress appeared and turned their attention to their food.

Feeling a little ashamed of his sudden voyeurism, especially as the girl didn't look much more than twenty, Edward tried his best to ignore his reactions and went back to his reading, until thankfully, through the steamed up café windows, he saw his grey Mercedes glide to a stop outside.

Having hastily finishing his coffee he collected up his belongings and with an easy elegance, strode over to the counter to pay his bill. Waiting while the elderly café owner disappeared into a back room to find some change, a sudden gale of laughter caused him to turn around just in time to catch the brown haired girl, who was now wide awake, pulling faces and making exaggerated kissing sounds behind his back, with admittedly achingly kissable lips.

Slightly resentful of the strong effect this unsuitable young woman continued to have on him; Edward narrowed his eyes and glared in her direction. From experience he knew this look should reduce his victim to a quivering and apologetic mess, but, eyes alight with mirth, she merely shrugged, batted her eyelashes and pouted at him, before very deliberately turning away to place a lingering kiss on her neighbour's cheek.

Feeling like a pompous idiot, as soon as the owner returned Edward left the café as quickly as he could, but as the door banged shut behind him a second peal of laughter rang out, making his ears burn.

Later, as he sat in the car in a thoroughly bad mood, Edward's mind kept returning to the girl who had mocked him and then turned her back as if he was barely worth her notice. Used to women throwing themselves at his feet at every opportunity, he didn't know if he was more angry or intrigued by her behaviour and as her face lingered in front of his eyes, he imagined again how her body, which he had seen a little too much of, would feel captured beneath his own.

It had been a long time since Edward had failed to seduce any woman he set his sights on and although he now made sure to keep all his relationships strictly casual, perhaps a challenge would be enjoyable for a change. She wasn't his usual glossy type and she was certainly much too young for him, but the thought of teaching her to show a little respect held a certain amount of attraction. Imagining those big brown eyes looking up at him adoringly and those luscious lips and that body being entirely at his disposal, he would definitely be willing to put a little work into thoroughly charming their owner into submission, before moving on to someone more appropriate of course.

Smiling when he realised he was making plans to deal with a woman it was unlikely he would ever see again, Edward straightened his shoulders, raked a hand through his hair and decided the best cure was to make time for some more accommodating female company. Running through various bars and private clubs in his mind, he decided he could probably spare an evening off. If he could get this deal finalised today as expected, he could even make it an excuse to invite his partners, Emmett and Jasper, out for a celebratory drink.

The decision made, Edward's thoughts turned back to his hectic schedule, but frustratingly, the memory of the beautiful brunette reappeared at inappropriate moments throughout the day, arousing, unsettling and annoying him in equal measure.


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2

Bella stretched slightly, turned over and fell off the sofa and onto the floor with a thump. Groaning, she wondered why she hadn't made it to the bedroom last night, but as she rubbed at her aching forehead and opened one eye, she realised no one had got any further than the sitting room. Tanya was snoring on the sofa next to her and the boys were awkwardly scattered over the rest of the furniture and the floor. Luckily, given that Bella couldn't quite remember what had happened before she fell asleep; Jamie appeared to have passed out at the opposite end of the room, with Mike right next to him.

Opening her other eye, Bella gingerly got to her feet and stumbled to the bathroom, weaving past her friends' prostrate bodies and trying not to bump into the furniture on her way. Glancing up at the clock, after hurdling a half packed suitcase in the hall, she gave a strangled yelp as she realised her shift at the dress shop started in less than an hour.

Pulling down the bathroom blind to shut out the glare of the midday sun and wondering if she'd be able to get away with wearing sunglasses at work, Bella was thankful she'd at least been able to swap her early shift with Jess, in exchange for taking the late one.

And thankfully nothing terrible had happened to the posh frock Tan had lent her this time, which was lucky, as she quite liked this sequined one and was thinking of asking Tan if she could 'look after' it while she was away.

As she took the dress off and put it out of harm's way, Bella wondered for the umpteenth time how she was ever going to manage without her best friend. But before she could get too depressed about it, she was distracted by the ghastly sight she caught sight of in the mirror - unfortunately make-up smeared, rat's nest hair, hung-over and sleep deprived wasn't a good look on her.

One shower and one quick cup of coffee later, Bella was feeling a bit more human, as she grabbed her bag and let herself out of the flat. She even managed to resist the urge to kick the other lazy bastards awake as she passed them, which she felt was very restrained, considering she hadn't intended to go out at all last night and now she was not only feeling totally wrecked, but had lost any chance of being able to put any savings aside again this month.

Just before she reached the tube station, a bus pulled up and as its route went right past the shop, Bella decided to risk traffic jams and get on it, rather than catching a tube and having to walk at the other end. Not only had the March weather turned chilly, but unnecessary exercise was definitely not something she was feeling up to at the moment, especially as the shoes she'd grabbed on her way out, another pair of Tanya's, didn't seem to fit quite as well as she'd first thought.

After clambering up the stairs, Bella settled into a seat on the top deck, just as a wave of tiredness hit her. She tried to stay awake, knowing she couldn't risk missing her stop, but lulled by the swaying movement of the bus; her eyelids drooped further and further, until before she knew it, she was fast asleep. Luckily a violent lurch, as the bus swung round a corner, woke her up, rousing her from a delicious dream, which featured a drop dead gorgeous man with a riot of copper coloured hair and the most mesmerising green eyes she'd ever seen.

'Mmmmh,' Bella thought. 'Sexy green eyes, angry sexy green-eyed man in expensive suit. Shhhiiiiitttt!'

Sitting bolt upright in her seat, her cheeks burning with embarrassment as she remembered what had happened in the café the night before, Bella scrunched up her face and squeezed her eyes tight, in an effort to block the pictures replaying in her head. Not only had she made a spectacle of herself by letting James publicly grope her, she had gone on to basically make fun of Mr Gorgeous Green Eyes and encourage her friends to laugh at him.

He probably deserved it, judging by the cocky smirk on his face followed by the death glare, but still she was utterly mortified and she was certainly going to strangle James next time she saw him. It was definitely his fault for feeding her alcohol all night and then encouraging her into that embarrassing drunken display. As more details came back to her, including calling Mr Gorgeous a pompous ass as he walked out of the door, Bella wondered for the umpteenth time why she couldn't behave more like her flat mate and best friend Tanya, who always had everything under control and whose life never turned into the car wreck Bella's resembled most of the time.

At least she had never seen Mr Gorgeous in the café before and as there was probably no chance he would ever come back, she tried to put him out of her mind and concentrate on not missing her stop, despite the best efforts of the driver. After ringing the bell, she clung to the stair rail for dear life, while the bus suddenly sped up before skidding to an abrupt halt, which almost pitched her headlong down the stairs. Slithering the rest of the way down, Bella fought her way through the sea of bodies on the bottom deck and just managed to squeeze out of the doors, before they slammed shut, missing her ass by half an inch and the bus lurched off at a speed which belied the traffic conditions.

Drawing in a deep breath, Bella peered over the top of her sunglasses as she approached _The Frock Shop_ , hoping she could sneak past the manageress, Vicky, on the way in and hide in the stock room for an hour or two until her hangover died down a bit. Unfortunately Vicky spotted her before she'd got halfway through the door and ordered her to loose the glasses and get on the till. Somehow pinning a smile on her face, Bella took over from Jess, greeted the first customer and made a solemn promise to herself, either to never drink again or to look for another job as soon as possible.

-ooo-

By mid afternoon Edward's meetings had finished and he was making his way down the corridor towards his office, juggling his mail, a coffee, and the Danish pastry his executive assistant, Mary Cope, had insisted he needed to get him through the rest of his day. Pushing open the door with his shoulder and entering the room backwards, he deposited the food on his desk, loosened his tie and began to sift through his mail.

A glossy brochure from an upmarket estate agent immediately attracted his attention and the unsettled feeling he had been battling with all day returned. Staring unseeingly at the photo on his desk for several minutes, with his brows furrowed in thought, he knew it was more than time to get his life back in order. Finally, glancing at the estate agent's details once again, he picked up the phone and instructed Emmett to go ahead with the Docklands purchase. And before he could change his mind, he also rang Carlisle to accept his offer of the day before - to move into his flat while the new property was being brought up to specification.

Edward had become so tired of living out of hotel rooms during the past few months, that the unfashionable and slightly inconvenient location of his uncle's West London flat didn't concern him as much as he had expected. Carlisle was going to be away for several months while he got his new business in Italy up and running, so the timing fitted in well. With any luck and with Emmett in charge of keeping things on track, Edward should be able to move into his new home within the next four or five months..

With the decision finally made, Edward was surprised to feel the weight he always carried with him lift slightly and as he relaxed into his chair, anticipating an evening at his favourite bar with his best friends, for the first time in a long time he felt almost optimistic.


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3

The bar was darker and dingier than Edward had remembered, but it was always a popular haunt for the well-heeled, slightly older and more sophisticated slice of London society Edward was used to mixing in, exclusive but not too exclusive, and discrete enough to overlook a little bad behaviour if necessary, far from the prying eyes of the gossip columnists and the hoi polloi.

In the interests of welcoming their friend and business partner, Jasper, back from South America, Emmett had made sure the drinks kept coming all evening and Edward was feeling pleasantly relaxed. by the time his two friends called it a night and he was finally able to turn his attention to the main purpose of his evening. Nursing a tumbler of Grey Goose between his long fingers, he coolly scanned the room and began to size up the available options.

The risqué floor show had just ended and as the night tipped into the early hours of the morning, the atmosphere was becoming much less inhibited. Women who had previously been eying Edward from across the room, were now beginning to flaunt their assets more brazenly. It was therefore no surprise, when a beautiful blonde detached herself from the group and made her way over to his table to directly proposition him.

Having no particular objection to this unsubtle approach, Edward laughed and invited her to sit down in Jasper's vacated seat. Casting an appreciative eye over her obvious charms and running an exploratory finger across her bare shoulder, as he leaned in to hear what she was saying above the background noise, Edward summoned the barman with a wave of his hand and smiled at the thought that his driver should already be waiting downstairs with the car.

-ooo-

Meanwhile Bella's evening was rapidly turning into a cluster fuck. She needed to get out of the shop on time to at least get to Tan's leaving meal before it ended, but Vicky seemed to have other ideas. By the time the shop floor, fitting rooms and stock area were tidied to her satisfaction, Bella was already half an hour late. As she stepped out into a murky drizzle which had settled onto the pavements in a slippery film, Bella also realised that without a coat or umbrella, there was little hope for the elaborate updo she'd spent her lunch hour having created.

Sighing in resignation, she decided to just concentrate on getting home as quickly as possible. Luckily her friend Eric was also working late and they'd arranged to share a taxi to their swanky destination in Chelsea, with the intention of arriving at the restaurant in time for the last couple of courses and a few drinks, before going on to one of the equally exclusive clubs in the area, which Tan's sudden dizzying success as a model had given her access to.

Arriving home and sliding the key into the lock, Bella looked at her watch to find it was already ten thirty. By this point she really only wanted to roll into bed and catch up on some much needed sleep, but knowing this was an impossibility, she dragged herself into the shower and after picking up Tan's text confirming the address of the restaurant, hurriedly dressed and re-applied her make up as she waited for Eric to arrive.

As soon as Bella got into the taxi she fell asleep, which at least meant she didn't have to feign interest in Eric's long winded stories about his work, the latest video games, his new car and his holiday plans. Eric was sweet and he'd been part of their circle of friends since they'd first arrived in London, but underneath the trendy clothes and haircut, he was still the same nerdy computer geek he'd always been, although a much better paid one these days.

When Bella groggily opened her eyes as they arrived at their destination, she realised that dinner with a few close friends had morphed into a giant party, which had taken over the entire restaurant. Tanya's sweet nature and outgoing personality meant she made friends wherever she went and her social circle was huge. Childhood and college friends had turned up to mingle with newer friends and colleagues from the fashion and media world and everyone was intent on making sure she had the send off she deserved.

Bella blinked back tears as she wondered again how on earth she was going to manage without her best friend, if Tan turned out to be a big success in America and never came back. Now feeling emotional as well as tired, she was already wishing she could just turn around and go back home, when to her dismay she realised Eric had abandoned her to her own devices. Standing on tiptoe, she could see him making his way through the crush of people to a table at the opposite end of the room, where Tan was sitting. She could also see Mike waving at her from the same table and a little further along, Jamie was trying to attract her attention and gesturing to her to come and sit with him.

Pressing her fingers to her forehead and closing her eyes for a moment, Bella tried to dredge up some energy and enthusiasm, or at least enough determination to fend off her two persistent and over eager admirers. She bitterly regretted the period of emotional neediness, the haze of alcohol and string of one night stands Alex's betrayal had pitched her into and having finally pulled herself out of the mess and regained some of her dignity, she wasn't ever going back there again. But Jamie and Mike were now a constant reminder of past mistakes.

Over the last few months she had made it abundantly clear that she had no intention of sleeping with either of them ever again, but unfortunately they remained stubbornly unconvinced and were now locked in an intense rivalry, which meant that neither of them would give up or back down. Seeing them both descending on her from separate directions, Bella had no option but to take avoiding action and promptly sat down in the nearest vacant seat, smiling brightly as she met the surprised faces of a table full of fashion photographers and stylists she had never seen in her life before.

Luckily everyone turned out to be very welcoming. But despite the liveliness of her new acquaintances, Bella found it more and more difficult to stay awake. Several times when there was a lull in the conversation, she had to fight to keep herself from falling asleep, until finally the effort was too much and she leant back against the oriental fretwork running round the back of her seat and closed her eyes.

Trying to get more comfortable against the metalwork, which was intended to screen the dining area from the bar, Bella didn't notice that her dress, made almost entirely of lace, had snagged on several of the more extravagant scrolls and curlicues. Suddenly startled out of her stupor when everyone cheered and got to their feet to toast Tanya's future success, Bella leapt up, only to be yanked back by her trapped clothing. Unfortunately the accompanying loud ripping sound and the sudden rush of cool air, also indicated that the delicate bodice had been torn to shreds.

Thoroughly mortified at ruining yet another of Tan's expensive frocks and realising that all the eyes around the table had turned towards her and then quickly away again, as her dinner companions studiously tried to avoid looking directly at the large areas of skimpy bra and naked skin which were now exposed, Bella unsuccessfully tried to pull the tattered fabric back together, while wishing the ground would open up and swallow her. Luckily the neighbour on her left hand side took pity on her, removing his jacket and draping it over her shoulders, before offering to find her a taxi home.

Too thankful to question his motives, Bella texted Tan to let her know what had happened and followed her rescuer out of the restaurant and into the street. The effects of the wine she had drunk immediately began to dissipate as the cold air hit her, and looking around she realised the street outside was totally deserted. Her table partner, who had seemed a perfect gentleman five minutes ago, suddenly became overly anxious to re-arrange his jacket around her and as his hands came perilously close to her breasts and she felt his hot breath on her cheek, Bella sighed internally as she wondered how difficult it was going to be to shake him off.

Just at that moment two things happened - with a gust of noise, the door to the club next door swung open and disgorged half a dozen people onto the pavement, while at the same time Bella saw headlights and a lit taxi sign appear at the end of the street. Entirely focussed on getting home, Bella twisted round and leapt forward, ready to hail the taxi as it headed in her direction.

Unfortunately the sudden movement upset her escort's balance, causing him to pitch headfirst onto the ground, taking the jacket which was protecting Bella's modesty with him. Meanwhile Bella had slammed into one of the club-goers with a force that knocked most of the air out of her lungs, although luckily a strong arm shot out and saved her from falling by clasping her in a firm embrace.

Already breathless from the force of the collision, a strong spark of electricity suddenly rippled through Bella's body making her gasp, as she found herself crushed against a muscular torso. Taken by surprise, she surrendered to the warmth of the stranger's body and the captivating smell of expensive soap, freshly laundered clothes and the merest hint of cologne, while she tried to restrain herself from nuzzling into the deliciously inviting neck her face was pressed into.

Overwhelmed and completely unable to control her body's reactions, Bella could only sink further into the stranger's arms, almost swooning under the effect of the unaccustomed desire which was sweeping through her, while her pulse accelerated to match the stranger's heartbeat, which she could feel rhythmically pounding through his thin shirt.

Too late to prevent a small moan escaping her lips, Bella took a deep breath and tried to regain her senses, suddenly aware that her own chest was half exposed and equally crushed up against his. Blushing fiercely, but not necessarily wanting the intoxicating feeling to end, she raised timid eyes past a clenched jaw and beautifully sculpted lips, to a pair of stormy green eyes which were glaring fiercely down at her.

For a second Bella remained pinned in place as her blush deepened and a flash of recognition shot through her. Mr Gorgeous was obviously put on this earth with the sole purpose of causing her to die of mortification. Now horribly embarrassed and distressingly aware of her dishevelled state, Bella swallowed a ragged breath and was just about to apologise and explain, when she was yanked sideways out of his arms.

Feeling totally disorientated and blinking at the headlights suddenly shining into her eyes, Bella took a while to release that her erstwhile companion must have picked himself up from the pavement and flagged down the cab, which had been driving slowly along the street looking for a fare. Within seconds she was inside the taxi, alone, and thankfully on her way home. But turning to look out of the back window, Bella was strangely disappointed to see the beautiful green-eyed stranger and his blonde companion disappear into a dark limousine, which glided away in the opposite direction.

-ooo-

Edward sat back in the car wondering distractedly what the odds were, of running into the woman who was quickly becoming his favourite fantasy figure, for a second time in two days. Added to the vision of her long legs, laughing eyes and tempting lips, he now had the memory of her trembling body pressed against him and the distracting scent of her hair, not to mention an enticing view of a perfect pair of tits, which he'd barely been able to drag his eyes away from.

Taking a deep breath, he had to make a conscious effort to rekindle his enthusiasm for the blonde sitting next to him, although that task became much easier when she started to unbutton his shirt with one hand, while the other began to edge up his thigh. Reluctantly pushing away the image of dark hair and dark eyes, Edward turned back to the matter in hand with a searing kiss which his new companion recognised as both a promise and a threat.


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER 4

Bella woke up bright and early the next morning to a warm and sunny spring day, which after yesterday evening's depressing drizzle, made it slightly easier to contemplate Tanya's imminent departure for New York. The girl herself arrived home at eight in the morning, somehow looking fresh and without a hair out of place, as if she hadn't been up all night or consumed a gallon of alcohol. Over a leisurely breakfast, Tan filled Bella in on the events of the previous evening with much hilarity, gesturing with her hands while enthusiastically shoving breakfast cereal into her mouth and swigging mouthfuls of tea.

Bella was shocked to hear that Mike and James had finally come to blows. James had last been seen stumbling into a cab with a black eye and a bloodied nose, theatrically shaking his fist and vowing to have his revenge, which had sent all the bystanders into fits of laughter. As for Mike, he had been rescued from the large puddle he'd ended up in, apparently not much the worse for wear and after being dissuaded from lying down in the street again, had lurched off into the night.

Tan then went on to describe her own adventures, which soon had Bella in fits of giggles. But they came to an abrupt halt when the two friends ambled into Tan's bedroom and realised how much was left to pack and sort out before her evening flight.

By lunchtime Bella had most of the chaos under control, as Tan's phone went off again with yet another friend calling to wish her good luck. Tan rolled her eyes and pulled an apologetic face as she wandered out of the room searching for her cigarettes, while explaining to someone called Jed that yes she was going to miss her friends, but she was only planning on being away for four or five months and she was sure she'd be a complete failure in America anyway. Surveying the room which was now tidier than she'd ever seen it, Bella trundled the second suitcase into the sitting room and went back to start folding the remaining pile of clothes spread out on the bed.

After a hurried late lunch, Bella left Tanya to round up her toiletries and cosmetics, while she checked off lists and made sure nothing important had been forgotten. Finally they managed to heave everything into a black cab and before they knew it, they were sitting in a bar at Heathrow waiting for the flight to be called. They tried to keep the upbeat atmosphere going, but as Tan's departure got nearer, an inevitable air of sadness crept in and they admitted to themselves that this was possibly the start of a different life for both of them.

Rare tears welled up in Tanya's eyes as she promised Bella they would both be fine. Only Tanya knew how devastating Alex's betrayal had been for Bella and how much it had affected her, but that was over a year ago now and apart from the fact that Bella was in no rush to resume her painting, she seemed to be almost back to her normal self. So with a final hug and promises to phone and email and be back before she knew it, Tanya said her goodbyes and joined the queue for boarding. With a last wave and smile, Bella watched as Tan disappeared, already missing her so badly it hurt.

After a teary ride back home in a taxi, during which she vowed to stop being so feeble and turn Tanya's going into a positive reason for change, Bella decided to start straight away and sat down with a cup of coffee to make a list of the things she was going to do to put her life back on track.

Without the distractions and temptations of Tan's busy social life, Bella would have plenty of time to take the evening classes she needed to finish her degree and find a proper job. Although as anything to do with the art world or painting was now out of the question, she had no idea what alternatives were available to her, or how long it would take to find something suitable. However it was obvious that she needed to find something more stimulating and fulfilling than her current job, which in any case paid hardly enough to cover the bills now she was on her own.

But before she got started, she was going to fix another part of her life and finally take a few days off to visit her dad Charlie.

-ooo-

Despite being offered promotion, Charlie had never moved from the police station where he had started as a desk sergeant when Bella was a baby and he still lived in the small redbrick house in the rural town where Bella had grown up, although these days it was much more homely than Bella remembered. As Bella paid the taxi driver, she also noticed that efforts had been made to spruce up the front garden, with a gravelled area and tubs of colourful plants replacing the scruffy lawn and overgrown borders Charlie had mostly left to fend for themselves.

Glancing up, Bella saw that Sue had already noticed her arrival and was waiting at the door with a beaming smile on her face, ready to give her a welcoming hug. As she fixed what she hoped was a convincing smile on her own face, Bella wondered for the millionth time how the taciturn Charlie had ended up with such a polar opposite for a wife. Stepping into the newly bright and cheerful sitting room Bella took a seat on the couch and with as much good grace as she could muster, surrendered to the inevitable barrage of questions and commiserations she knew there was no point in trying to escape.

By the time Charlie arrived home from work, Bella had also survived a two hour video of Charlie and Sue's wedding and honeymoon, which they had postponed after Bella's own wedding disaster and which Bella had been unable to bring herself to attend. This had been the original cause of her long absence from home. Then somehow the weeks had stretched into months and it had become harder and harder to face Charlie as time went on, until the guilt stopped her from visiting at all and she was barely able to get out more than a few words on the phone.

Thankfully Bella no longer felt the urge to run screaming from the room when weddings were mentioned, but it was still an uncomfortable subject which she didn't particularly want to discuss with Sue. But in the end, stuffed full of cakes and biscuits washed down with sweet tea and realising that the only reaction Sue was expecting from her was a nod every so often, Bella had settled into the path of least resistance and let Sue's sympathy wash over her.

And somehow, Bella was surprised to find that by the end of the afternoon, she did feel less guilty and ashamed about the impact her stupidity over Alex had had, especially on Charlie's professional reputation. And although Bella still blamed herself, it was a relief that Sue seemed to truly believe none of it was her fault.

When Charlie joined them, after receiving her usual half hug and peck on the cheek which landed nearer her ear, Bella took her place at the kitchen table, while Sue dished out the evening meal. In the warm and cosy atmosphere Bella's initial apprehension faded away even more, as Sue continued to chatter on and the conversation turned to local news, including what Bella's old school friends were up to.

Later, after Bella and Charlie had been shooed out of the kitchen while Sue tidied up and put the dishwasher and washing machine on, Charlie gave Bella a quick update on developments as far as Alex was concerned. But unfortunately there was very little to tell, because despite Interpol's best efforts, once he had slipped over the Russian border early the previous year, Alex had so far managed to disappear without a trace.

Bella was partly relieved and partly worried by this news, because although she never wanted to see or hear of Alex ever again, she also knew that until he was brought to justice she would never feel safe, despite everything she knew Charlie must be doing behind the scenes. She shivered to think how naïve and thoroughly taken in she had been. It didn't matter to her that Alex had fooled a lot of people for a lot of years, she had always particularly prided herself on her good sense, yet she had been taken in like every one else, even to the point of marrying him.

In some ways this has been the biggest shock to her system and the reason why she continued to feel so adrift. She'd always been proud of herself for being so grown up, for being Charlie's sensible and level headed daughter. After her mother died, taking on all the household chores at such an early age had given her a sense of purpose and helped to shape the person she was, both in her own eyes and in the eyes of their small community. Now she wondered if Charlie had simply been humouring her by letting her think she was taking care of him, if he'd always secretly thought of her as silly and naïve, a liability.

The glare of publicity after Alex jilted her at the altar and then disappeared, and the weeks of questioning by the police, had almost been a relief, because she felt as if she was deservedly being punished for her stupid and. arrogant faith in her own good judgement. The ensuing months of drinking and sleeping around, which the press had also had a field day with, were also symptoms of this lost feeling, as much as an attempt to forget her betrayal by Alex, her guilt and her broken heart.

Tan had tried to make her see a counsellor to work through her feelings, but as always Bella found it difficult to accept any help and luckily she'd come out of this phase without too much ill effect – dependable and boring Bella could be relied on to eventually make the sensible choice as always. But now, although perhaps only Tan had any inkling of how much damage had been done, there were large chunks of herself which weren't there anymore, which felt numb and broken beyond repair.

At the age of 22 she was suddenly uncertain and lost, like a small child whose world had caved in. For the first time she doubted herself and was afraid of what life could throw at her and the worst thing was that she had lost her greatest pleasure, the ability to paint, which was so bound up with Alex that just the thought of holding a brush again made her stomach lurch.

However over the next few days Bella realised there was no point going over old ground with Charlie. In his own undemonstrative way Charlie had made it quite clear that he loved her, that he would always love her and that he would be there for her no matter what. Although her absence had hurt him, he understood what had caused it and in his eyes there was nothing to forgive.

By the time Bella left she was hopeful that their relationship was almost back to normal and inspired by this success, on the drive back to London she went over her 'to do' list determined to succeed in her next goal of finding a better job. And despite backsliding into a rather teary evening in her empty flat, with only half a bottle of red wine and a couple of trashy DVDs to keep her company now that Tan was gone, Bella woke up the next morning to another beautiful sunny day and an unexpected spring in her step.

* * *

 **Thanks again for reading. I think we need to catch up with Edward next time and maybe he might bump into Bella again?**

 **Until Friday - Suki**


	5. Chapter 5

CHAPTER 5

Edward was also feeling energised. On his first day in Carlisle's flat he woke up to the unaccustomed sound of birdsong, while the early morning sunshine filtered through the trees outside the window and sent flickering patterns of green and gold light dancing all around the room. After pulling on a t-shirt, he padded across the floor in bare feet and opened the windows wide, appreciating the view of the beautifully maintained communal gardens below and breathing in a lungful of surprisingly fresh air.

At last he felt as if he was shaking free some of the past, including his failed marriage to Kate. The divorce settlement was finished with, work was going particularly well, Jasper had returned from his posting in South America finally looking more like his old self and Edward's new relationship with Jane could be exactly what he needed. All in all his life definitely seemed to be slotting back into place and he allowed himself to feel a degree of optimism.

As he showered and breakfasted, he mulled over his plans for the renovation of the Canary Wharf flat he'd just completed the purchase on. Over the past few weeks he'd managed to find enough time for several onsite meetings with his architect and it was clear that the final result could be stunning. Now he was anxious to get some concrete specifications down on paper, so that he could email them to Emmett who was managing the project for him.

In the weeks that followed all Edward's efforts were concentrated on moving into his new home as quickly as possible and because it was also a busy period at work, he initially spent very little time at Carlisle's flat. On the nights he stayed there, rather than at Jane's mews house, he barely had time to eat a takeaway and catch up on the news and a few sports highlights, before he fell asleep.

But the neighbourhood was so quiet and peaceful that he began to enjoy being there and as the initial passion of his relationship with Jane began to cool, he spent more and more evenings happily pottering around the kitchen, watching DVDs and the sports channels and just relaxing, which was a luxury he hadn't really enjoyed for years.

After a few weeks, he also found there was a gym in the basement of the block, which the landlord had installed in the eighties in the hope of attracting younger and more affluent tenants. As this strategy had largely failed, Edward was virtually the only person who made use of the equipment and the secluded location became another useful space, which allowed him time to think, or to just let his brain switch off completely, while he put his body through its paces.

Sex with Jane was another relaxation and although the intensity of their initial connection had waned, they were both realistic enough to appreciate what they had, because in many ways they were a perfect match. Neither of them wanted gentle and romantic, they were both sexually confident and adventurous and had no problems asking for and taking what they needed.

Edward was particularly pleased that his own preferences, which veered towards the rough and dominating, were reciprocated, as he certainly had no wish to force his tastes onto anyone who didn't share them. And as far as Jane was concerned, she was willing to play any part for a lover who was so skilful and had so much staying power. As long as Edward was careful not to mark her in any way, she was quite happy to indulge him.

Jane also played her part perfectly in meeting Edward's expectations at the various social functions he had to attend. Therefore overall their arrangement worked well, although Edward would have been shocked if he had realised how intent Jane was on eventually trying to manoeuvre him into marriage and perhaps he would also have been surprised by how little she really cared for him. But as he had always been used to arrangements based on carefully calculated mutual benefit and had got his fingers seriously burnt over his relatively short-lived marriage, he had no desire to look too closely into his own motives, let alone his partner's.

Although he was (usually) monogamous, the type of relationships he was used to often petered out fairly quickly and on the whole Edward was quite happy with this. He was also aware that some of his girlfriends had left him because they wanted an emotional commitment, which he was always clear from the start he was unable to provide.

While he was sorry for the pain he'd inadvertently caused in these circumstances, his marriage had proved that attempting to delve into the murky waters of emotional attachment was not for him. As far as he was concerned his current relationship was therefore perfectly satisfactory for as long as it remained mutually beneficial and he now treated sex with Jane almost as an additional workout session at her flat, after which he nearly always went home to sleep.

However he was disturbed to find that dreams of Alice were beginning to return and although they had so far only involved replays of childhood memories centred on the family home in Kent, these alone were enough to disturb his sleep and make him struggle awake in the middle of the night drenched in sweat. But at least now that he was spending most of his time at Carlisle's flat, Jane didn't have to witness these scenes and after getting up for a while and going through some of the work he brought home with him, he was usually able to put the dreams out of his mind and go back to sleep.

As spring turned into summer, Edward slept with the windows open, finding that the muted sounds of city night life and distant traffic, which rose and fell with the breeze, helped to lull him to sleep. The night time tranquillity of the garden below was largely undisturbed, as the other occupants of the block seemed to be mainly elderly and although Edward glimpsed the odd person walking or sitting outside during the daytime, hardly anyone ventured outside later in the evening and loud parties and barbecues appeared to be banned.

Edward was therefore disturbed to be woken in the early hours of a morning in the middle of June, by what he thought had been a woman's scream. Not sure whether he had imagined or dreamt the noise, he sat up and tried to make out any further sounds over the pounding of his heart and the rushing of blood in his ears, as a surge of adrenaline kicked in.

Thinking he could hear a slight rustling from outside, he silently got out of bed and tiptoed towards the window, just as another louder scream broke the silence. The sound definitely came from the garden just below his window, where Edward thought he could make out the vague shape of two people struggling with each other on the ground. Not wanting to launch himself from the first floor window into the darkness, Edward tore out of the flat, down the stairs and wrenched open the outside door which gave access to the garden.

The lights in the hall and stairway had automatically come on as he flew down the stairs and were now casting a strong beam of light onto the pathway, trees and borders immediately in front of him, illuminating what had previously been only a series of shadows. The first thing Edward saw, just outside the ground floor flat directly below his own, was a half dressed woman who appeared to be trying to fight her way out of a large shrub.

Confusingly, the next thing he became aware of was laughter and when his eyes swivelled to the side, he found the source of this merriment was another woman who appeared to be trapped half in and half out of a window belonging to the same flat. Although her body was turned away from him, after another moment he realised she wasn't trapped but just incapacitated by a fit of laughter, which had caused her to double over clutching her sides as she tried to control her hysteria.

Glancing again at the first woman, who appeared to have given up her struggle and slipped further into the depths of the foliage, from which she emitted alternate squeaks and giggles, Edward's jaw tightened as he realised he had been woken up and almost scared to death, by nothing more than the raucous behaviour of two drunken women. But ever the gentleman, he stepped forward and offered his hand to the partially submerged young woman, who was now hiccupping with laughter, and quickly hauled her up out of the bushes with very little effort.

It was only when her mouth dropped open and her surprised eyes became glued to his bare torso, that Edward realised he was only wearing boxers. With a cunning look on her face, she pretended to stumble as she got back onto her feet, effectively giving her an excuse to fling herself at him and cling onto his nearly naked body. Firmly disengaging her hands, Edward backed towards the open doorway; inwardly cursing when another body collided with him from behind, as the second woman came running out.

Anxious to get back inside and feeling rather stupid for jumping to conclusions in the first place, Edward wheeled around to give woman number two a piece of his mind, but immediately froze in shock, wondering if after all he was still asleep and dreaming.

In the tiniest, flimsiest, nightdress he had ever seen and staring up at him with the biggest and most beautiful eyes and the most bewitching smile, Bella took a step towards him, while Edward staggered back as if he had been electrocuted. For a moment he was so disorientated that his brain scrambled and he could only stand motionless with his mouth half open, blinking in the bright light streaming through the door.

Before he had time to properly realise what had happened, he found he'd brusquely introduced himself, shaken her outstretched hand, stepped smartly through the doorway, closed the door behind him and made his way back upstairs. And as he lay in bed listening to the faint sounds of doors shutting, windows being closed and women's voices, drifting up from downstairs, Edward couldn't believe how completely his usual cool headedness had just deserted him. How could he have behaved like such a colossal idiot and not even found out her name while he'd had the chance?

When he woke up later in the night after yet another nightmare, the questions continued to bounce around his head. Who was she? Where had she come from? And most importantly how could he put an end to this nonsense and get her into his bed?


	6. Chapter 6

CHAPTER 6

Bella was also unable to sleep. Once again she'd managed to embarrass herself in front of the really hot guy, who only seemed to appear like a scowling nemesis when she'd had too much to drink and was barely clothed. He had to think she was a total drunken slut by now, which he obviously didn't appreciate, because he never failed to look thoroughly disapproving of both her behaviour and her appearance.

On the plus side though, she now had positive proof that his body was even better than she had imagined and he must be staying or living in the same building to have materialised like that in the middle of the night. Carlisle had mentioned a nephew who would be using his flat over the summer, but given Carlisle's own age Bella had imagined a student or at any rate a much younger person. Could this god-like creature have been living in the flat above her for the last two or three months without her even realising it?

Bella kicked herself for not having gone upstairs to introduce herself, as she would have done if Tan had still been around. But the fact of the matter was that despite her best intentions, Bella's initial resolve to sort her life out had faded and without Tan's positive encouragement Bella had let herself drift over the last few months. She'd lost her enthusiasm for enrolling in evening classes and after a few disappointments, had more or less given up looking for a new job. She was therefore still working at the dress shop, while supplementing her income with evening shifts at the café across the street, where the elderly proprietor appreciated her help and the tips had turned out to be surprisingly good.

Tonight's debacle had been the result of one of her co-worker Jess's latest efforts to get her to go out and have some fun. After numerous refusals, Bella had finally let Jess coax her into going clubbing after work. To her surprise she had actually quite enjoyed the evening; Jessica's friends were fun and friendly and Bella had enjoyed dancing up a storm and flirting with some of the men who approached her. But somehow the desire to take things any further just wasn't there and at the end of the evening she'd volunteered to take a tipsy Jess home with her, to save Jess an exorbitant taxi fare and make sure she was none the worse for wear.

When they arrived at Bella's flat they'd started to get ready for bed, while Jess admired Bella's things and chatted away about their evening and work and men and anything else that flitted into her head. Then while Jess went to clean her teeth, Bella started to make up the bed in Tan's old room, and it was from there that Bella heard the loud scream which sent her apprehensively dashing round the flat in mounting panic, as she realised Jess was nowhere to be found.

Her first thought, which made her blood run cold and her whole body start to shake, was that Alex or one of his associates had broken into the flat. Bella had had a horrible feeling for the last few weeks, that she was being watched or followed and although she'd tried to dismiss this as a symptom of overwork and lack of sleep, she was suddenly convinced they were both in terrible danger.

Back in the bedroom where she'd started, and attempting to get her panicky breathing under control, Bella tried to remember where she'd left her mobile phone, hoping the intruder hadn't already seen and disposed of it. With her body slightly more responsive, but her mind still buzzing with fright, Bella decided to re-check every room, starting with the nearest one which was her own bedroom. She would then raise the alarm as soon as she was sure Jess was really missing and not playing some weird drunken prank. One thing she definitely knew was that Jess hadn't gone out of the front door, because it was still bolted from the inside.

Gingerly and shakily, Bella inched her way forward, noiselessly scanning both bedrooms and the bathroom, including inside the wardrobes and cupboards and under the beds, which she felt slightly foolish about, but she was still trying to convince herself there was a reasonable explanation for Jess's disappearance. The next room was the sitting room, which was lit only by a small table lamp and as Bella slowly inched open the door, she became aware of a slight movement in the shadows across the room, when one of the heavy floor length curtains stirred slightly.

Freezing in terror, she waited for someone to step out from behind the curtains, but everything was now eerily still. Unable to bear the tension any longer, Bella had just found the courage to walk across the room and raise the curtain herself, when a strong draught caused both curtains to billow outwards and she realised the window was wide open. Rushing forward and pushing the curtains aside to look out, Bella screamed as what appeared to be a disembodied pair of legs materialised out of the gloom in front of her.

Jess's answering pleas for help immediately had Bella clambering out of the window, but as her eyes got used to the surrounding darkness and she saw Jess's predicament, all Bella could do was collapse into howls of laughter, while Jess giggled and swore and flapped her arms and legs helplessly. It was at this point that Edward had burst onto the scene and it was only afterwards that Jess had been able to explain to Bella what had happened.

The commotion which had given both Bella and Edward such a fright, had been caused by Jess's attempt to have a crafty cigarette before bed. Not knowing whether Bella would approve of her smoking indoors, Jess had been sitting on the window sill and leaning out as far as she could to avoid the smell of smoke blowing back into the flat, when a sudden noise had made her overbalance and fall backwards into the border below. Luckily she hadn't been hurt because a large and springy bush had broken her fall, but in her inebriated state she hadn't been able to get out again and had ended up trapped, spread-eagled and helpless.

After a soothing nightcap and a great deal of discussion about the gorgeous man with the fantastic body who'd appeared out of nowhere, Bella finally got Jess to go to bed. Later as Bella lay awake while Jess snored in the spare room and the floorboards creaked above her head, she wondered if the man who'd introduced himself to her as Edward was also having trouble sleeping. The thought was strangely comforting and Bella strained her ears to catch the faint murmur of classical music, which had recently often kept her company when she'd been woken by the nightmares about Alex which still plagued her.

Finally soothed into letting go of the memories and the fear that she was in danger, which always seemed so much worse in the middle of the night, Bella fell into a deep sleep just as dawn started to break.

* * *

 **Sorry about the short chapter - I promise Edward & Bella will definitely meet again in the next instalment, although probably not how they would have wanted!**

 **Until Friday xx Suki**


	7. Chapter 7

CHAPTER 7

Over the next few days, by casually questioning the landlord when he happened to meet him on the stairs and putting a call in to Carlisle in Italy, Edward had confirmed that Bella did indeed live in the flat below him and for the first time he knew her name. But although he had knocked on her door several times, she never seemed to be in.

The frustration of not being able to get what he wanted was really starting to annoy him and his solitary evenings and sleepless nights became filled with more and more elaborate fantasies, which drifted into his dreams and left him more unsatisfied and unable to sleep than ever. To make things worse, Emmett had noticed Edward's irritable manner and the dark shadows under his eyes and had been going out of his way to annoy him even further, by heartily slapping him on the back and making jokes about Jane wearing him out.

Exasperated with himself for letting a few chance encounters affect him so much, Edward was certain that a touch of reality was all that was needed to shatter the illusion, but he had not anticipated that Bella would prove to be so elusive.

He thought about leaving a note under her door, but he wasn't sure what approach to take. He needed to speak to her face to face in order to decide on the best tactics, after all he had no idea if she was deliberately avoiding him, or if she was seeing someone else, and although he was determined to seduce her, in some ways the drawing out of the process was increasing his anticipation and would make her eventual capitulation even more satisfying. And Edward had no doubt that she would succumb, after all their mutual attraction was obvious and the behaviour he had witnessed to date indicated she wasn't exactly a shrinking violet.

Bella meanwhile was rushed off her feet with additional shifts at both jobs, due to the busy summer tourist season at the shop and a trial period of serving evening meals at the café during the weekends. Most evenings she was working so late that all she wanted to do when she arrived home was fall into bed.

Occasionally she found herself daydreaming about Edward and the memory of being held in his arms and once she thought she glimpsed him entering the building as she made her way home, but realistically she knew he was way out of her league. Everything about his appearance and manner, from his clothes to his clipped speech, subtly indicated wealth, class and education, which especially since her experiences with Alex, Bella knew might as well have been an impenetrable wall. Despite appearances to the contrary, Bella was fully aware that people like him didn't end up with people like her and that the immaculately put together blonde she'd seen him with, was his natural counterpart.

Edward therefore remained a distant daydream to Bella, separate from her real life where she was becoming more and more preoccupied with the continuing suspicion that she was being followed. She was nervous walking back from the café, which was only a matter of yards away from her flat, and walking home from the bus stop late at night, after working at the shop, had turned into an ordeal which had her looking over her shoulder every few steps and scrutinising everyone who walked past her.

Things had got so bad that she was even frightened when she was out in broad daylight, which usually only happened on her way to work and on Tuesday and Thursday when she had a half day off, but for some reason the immediate location around her flat seemed to be even more deserted in the daytime than late at night.

Bella was therefore pleased to bump into Mike one Tuesday afternoon as she stepped off the bus. She remembered he'd once mentioned a friend who lived nearby and was therefore not surprised when he said that was where he was headed. Even though she hadn't seen Mike since Tan had left and he was not exactly one of her best friends, Bella was pleased to have company and they managed to maintain a rather awkward conversation, mostly about Tan's adventures in America, until they rounded the corner into Bella's street.

As they passed the alleyway at the side of the building, which led to the parking area at the back, Bella was just about to turn and thank Mike for walking with her, when someone grabbed her from behind and before she could scream, or make any movement at all, clamped one gloved hand over her mouth and another around her throat, in a choking hold which immediately had her panicking and close to blacking out. Holding her tight against his body, the attacker then began to haul her down the alleyway.

At first Bella had to concentrate all her energy on trying to get enough air into her lungs and was unable to fight, but as his hold shifted slightly, she managed to bite down hard on the hand over her mouth, land a hard kick on his shin, and struggle out of the unknown man's grip.

Bella's intention was to run away as fast as she could, in the hope that the few seconds start would enable her to escape, but almost as soon as she'd taken a single step, she was struck in the side of the face with so much force, that she bounced off the brick wall behind her and fell to the ground. Dazed and feeling as if she was about to throw up, all Bella could do was stare at the pavement as she tried to regain her senses. Before she could even raise her head to get a good look at her attacker, she was hauled to her feet by fingers which bit into her arms and locked back into a strangle hold, while her assailant resumed his task of dragging her down the alleyway.

By the time they got to the end of the short passageway, the unknown man was grunting with the effort of pulling Bella's almost inert body along and had to stop to get his breath back. Realising they must be headed towards a car parked in the residents' parking garage in front of them, Bella made another attempt to escape by biting, kicking as hard as she could and elbowing him in the ribs. Again he let her go for a second, only to deliver a blow to the side of her face which made her see stars, while a second blow brought her to her knees. However this time Bella was able to get a glimpse of his face and she realised to her horror that her abductor was Mike.

She was so surprised she forgot to scream, by which time it was too late, because Mike had already clamped his gloved hand over her mouth again. He then begun pulling her along by the hair, while muttering threats and kicking at her legs to make her move. Shocked by the discovery of his identity and petrified by the way he now seemed to be talking to himself, while his eyes skittered around wildly and his lips twitched into a weird smirk, Bella knew there was something seriously wrong with Mike's state of mind and she started to panic as she wondered how he intended to subdue her enough to get her into his car.

Realising she had very little fight left in her body, as they approached the door to the garage Bella began struggling again, in a final desperate attempt to escape, when suddenly the door opened revealing the last person Bella expected to see, Edward.

Bella barely had time to register his presence before Edward's fist slammed into Mike's chin sending him sprawling across the ground. With a murderous look on his face, Edward pounced on the prostrate figure, shaking him by the scruff of the neck like a dog with a bone before landing a well aimed punch to his body. As Mike staggered backwards Edward gave him a bloody nose, while a second body blow left him winded and whimpering against the chain link fence separating the public area from the garden. Barely able to restrain himself from beating Mike to a pulp and still visibly incandescent with fury, Edward now turned his attention to Bella, who was sitting slumped against the garage door.

With surprising gentleness he made sure she wasn't badly injured, before helping her to her feet and supporting her as she took a couple of shaky steps. Although she was refusing to give in to tears, Edward could see that Bella was too dazed and shocked by her experience to be safely left to her own devices and with a longing glance towards Mike, who was taking the opportunity to stagger away, Edward sighed regretfully before lifting Bella into his arms.

As Bella realised her ordeal was over, a wave of relief mixed with delayed shock swept through her body, suddenly turning her into a helpless and shivering wreck. Unconsciously seeking any comfort she could get and barely knowing what she was doing, Bella clung tightly onto Edward's neck and nestled closer into his body, powerless to control the sobs which now wracked her small frame.

Ignoring her tears and the effect they were having on him, Edward quickly carried her back down the alley, round to the front of the block and through the front door of their apartment building. Coming to a stop in the hallway, he sat down on the bottom step of the staircase, with Bella still cradled in his arms. Adjusting their positions so that Bella was sitting in his lap with her arms still twined around his neck, and removing his jacket to place it round her shoulders, Edward waited patiently, until Bella got her sobs under enough control to haltingly explain what had happened.

As he listened, Edward's expression became even more furious and he swore several times under his breath. He tried not to scare Bella with his reactions and was careful to continue to hold her carefully, but he was not a patient man at the best of times and at the thought of Mike even touching her, his fists clenched and he was barely able to restrain himself from immediately jumping up and chasing off in the direction Mike had sidled off in.

However, realising that by now Mike was probably long gone; Edward sat in silence for a while, considering his best course of action. Then in a tone which brooked no argument, he quietly informed Bella he was taking her to Carlisle's flat and after quickly carrying her up the stairs, he deposited her on the sofa in the sitting room, promising she would be completely safe there and he'd be back very soon.

* * *

 **My hero!**

 **Who did you think was following Bella?**

 **By the way I'll be updating on Wed & Fri next week & possibly only once a week after that.**

 **See you soon xx Suki**


	8. Chapter 8

CHAPTER 8

Once outside Edward ran downstairs and checked the alleyway, the garage and the street outside for any sign of Mike, or any incriminating evidence, while also making a note of where the security cameras were sited. After satisfying himself that Mike was no longer lurking around the premises, he went back inside, making sure that all the outside doors and windows were secure and again noting where the security cameras were located in the hall and on the stairs.

Edward then called Emmett and Mrs Cope to inform them he would be working from home the next day and left Jane a message to let her know he wouldn't be able to attend the charity function he was supposed to be escorting her to. He knew the charity was one of her pet projects and she would be disappointed, but he added that if she called his assistant, he was sure that despite the short notice, the ever resourceful Mrs Cope would be able to find a suitable stand in. Finally, as he walked to the chemist in the next street to stock up on first aid supplies, Edward made a much longer call to Jenks, the head of his security team.

-ooo-

Bella perched on the edge of the sofa Edward had lowered her onto, regretting the loss of his reassuring physical presence and wondering what he was doing and how long it would be before he came back. Thankful for his suit jacket, which was still draped around her shoulders, she idly ran her fingers over the expensive material, while absentmindedly inhaling the faint aroma of Edward's cologne which clung to it.

Gradually the knowledge that she was safe and the ordinariness of the slightly shabby and old fashioned room began to have a calming effect on her and she was able to take a few steadying breaths. For a while she sat quietly, listening to the comforting sounds of the early evening traffic and people making their way home from work, which drifted in through the open window from the street below. She thought she might even have dozed off for a while and was therefore unsure of how much time had passed, when she suddenly became aware of lowered voices in the hall outside.

Her immediate reaction was to shrink back into the corner of the sofa, desperately wanting to be left alone. Her body automatically seemed to be going back into high alert and she began to shiver uncontrollably again, while yet more tears started to trickle down her face. Trying to wipe the tears away with shaky fingers, Bella turned bloodshot eyes towards the door as a stern looking Edward stepped into the room, followed by two women police officers, who explained they were responding to a call from a worried neighbour.

To her dismay and annoyance, rather than continuing to cry quietly to herself, Bella found she was now noisily, and almost hysterically, sobbing. Every intake of breath hurt her throat and she could only make a feeble croaking sound when she tried to speak, but realising what a field day the newspapers would have with all of this if anything got out, she was unable to damp down the panic which was sweeping through her, as she frantically tried to communicate her distress to Edward.

In an instant Edward strode across the room and sat down beside her. After looking searchingly into her eyes, he obviously came to the conclusion that a fresh round of choking sobs was all Bella was capable of at the moment and with an odd look on his face, he drew back and proposed that any questioning could wait until the morning. Meanwhile if Bella had any concerns about returning to her own flat for the night, she was welcome to stay in the spare room here and tomorrow he would drive her anywhere she wanted to go.

Thankfully, the policewomen seemed to agree that Bella was in no state to talk and after ensuring that her injuries were not so serious that medical attention was required, they left, after explaining to Bella that it was entirely her own choice, but they would encourage her to come down to the station the next day to make a statement.

As soon as they had gone, Edward established with a couple of yes or no questions that Bella didn't have anywhere else to go and within minutes she found herself drifting off to sleep in a blissfully comfortable bed, while Edward promised he would be in the next room if she needed him. Too exhausted to think of arguing, Bella mumbled a heartfelt thank you and despite the day's events, feeling safer and more at ease than she had for months, let herself sink into a dreamless sleep, aided by the painkillers Edward had given her.

-ooo-

The next thing Bella became aware of was bright sunlight streaming through the curtains and the sound of a television playing somewhere at low volume. Disorientated for a moment, it took a while for the previous day's events to come flooding back to her and Bella flinched as her fingers gingerly felt the bruises around her neck, along her jaw and over her cheekbone, where Mike had hit her the most viciously. Her shoulders and arms were also badly bruised, as was her hip, where she had hit the ground, but Bella knew she was lucky, because in the state he was in, Mike could have seriously injured her. As it was, her throat felt so swollen that she didn't think she would be able to speak properly for days.

Realising she was still wearing all her clothes from yesterday and that in some places they were ripped and dirty, Bella slowly sat up and began to drag herself over to the side of the bed, so that she could get up and try to sort herself out. She was surprised to find that this took quite a lot of effort because she was aching all over and when she moved her head too quickly, or put too much weight on her hip or shoulder, she had to bite her lip to stop herself crying out with pain. But eventually she managed to get out of bed and began to slowly make her way across the room.

Suddenly there was a knock on the door and Edward appeared, immediately freezing in shock as he took in her appearance. Equally shocked by his expression, Bella swayed slightly on her feet and was mortified to find she was crying again, only this time the tears seemed to be an indication of how weak she was currently feeling. Sweeping her up, Edward placed her gently back down on the bed and absently began trying to smooth down her hair, while Bella croakily explained she urgently needed to go to the bathroom and to get out of the clothes she was wearing.

Despite Edward's initial determination to continue to carry her, which was tempting but unnecessary, Bella managed to convince him she could get to the bathroom on her own, although he insisted on following her all the way down the hall just to make sure she was all right. Already realising that Edward could be very high handed and was used to getting his own way, but not wanting to take advantage of him because after all he was a complete stranger, Bella assured him she didn't need any more help. So after making sure she had everything she needed, Edward unwillingly disappeared back down the hall to start making breakfast.

* * *

 **Sorry that was another short chapter - more on Friday xx Suki**


	9. Chapter 9

CHAPTER 9

Bella stared at herself in the bathroom mirror, hardly able to believe how awful she looked. No wonder Edward had been shocked when he saw her. Now that the bruises were starting to come out, her face and neck were so swollen and discoloured that she looked like something left over from Halloween. There was definitely no way she was going to be able to go to work this week. Even worse was the thought of going back to her flat on her own while crazy Mike was still out there somewhere. Rationally she knew he was unlikely to come back now that Edward had intervened, but her stomach lurched with fear every time she thought of being anywhere near him and at the moment she just didn't have the strength to be brave.

So she couldn't go to work and she couldn't stay at home, where did that leave her? She didn't really have any friends she felt close enough to impose on, she especially didn't want to give Charlie any more worry and she couldn't afford to go to a hotel. Perhaps a cheap B&B would be within her price range for a few days, but what was she going to do after that if she still couldn't face going back to her flat? She'd have to make arrangements to rent it out and find somewhere else to live, but that could take weeks to sort out… at this point Edward interrupted her thoughts by knocking on the bathroom door to let her know breakfast was ready, but Bella was still anxiously going over the options as she sat down at the table.

In the end she couldn't face eating much and her breakfast mainly consisted of assorted painkillers washed down with a glass of water, which earned her a disapproving look from Edward, who tersely informed her she needed to keep her strength up. Afterwards she felt slightly less shaky and was still desperate to change her clothes, so Edward agreed to start a bath running, before going downstairs to Bella's flat to find her something to wear.

Relaxing in the warm bathwater did wonders for her aching body and after washing her hair, cleaning her teeth and getting dressed in the comfy clothes Edward had found and brought back up for her, Bella emerged from the bathroom feeling much more herself. Rejecting Edward's attempts to convince her to go back to bed - he definitely wasn't used to anyone saying no to him, judging by his tight-lipped reaction - she settled on the sofa in the sitting room, where she could at least sit and read, or watch TV if she wanted to.

But it had to be admitted that her new favourite occupation was looking at Edward, which she managed to do a satisfyingly large amount of, because he spent most of the day working from his laptop across the room from her. At first Bella was afraid to look at him for too long in case he noticed, but she grew bolder as she realised how engrossed he was in his work. For a long time she studied his face, her painter's eye trying to work out what made him so physically attractive.

The strong lines of his forehead, cheekbones, nose and jaw, as well as his defined and sensuous lips, currently raised at the corners in a slight smile, were the epitome of classical male beauty. His hair, which Edward had a habit of running his hands through, was thick, shiny and a little too long and like its owner gave the impression of defying any attempt to control or tame it, but it was Edward's eyes which were his most striking feature, not only vividly expressing his own character in their cool green depths, but in their unflinching directness, seeming to penetrate right to the heart of whatever his gaze rested on.

Added to the instant effect of his sheer beauty, was a controlled physical energy and power which was apparent beneath the grace of his movements. His tall, lean but muscular frame was classically well proportioned, but at the same time gave the suggestion of coiled strength. Aware of his own superiority, cool and confidant to the point of arrogance, Edward was the ultimate alpha male and Bella knew she was already totally smitten.

Every time he raked his fingers through his hair, reached for some papers, or stretched his legs, her eyes were drawn to the graceful way his body moved and Bella ached to be able to paint or draw him in order to capture some of his beauty on the page. But more than anything she wanted to touch him. As the day went on she began to feel her attraction to him as a tangible presence in the room, a strange tug of electricity which made her body tingle, her breath catch and her heart flutter, while her mind kept wandering into a dreamy state of imagined bliss in which Edward miraculously returned her interest.

She knew she was being ridiculous. She had already decided Edward was totally out of her league and her reaction to him was even more inappropriate when she was lying here looking so unappealing. In a way it was lucky she was in this state, otherwise she had a horrible feeling she would have ended up launching herself across the room at him at some point - she could feel her face going red with embarrassment at just the imagined rebuff which would follow and the real thing would have been a hundred times worse.

To save her sanity she knew she had to make up her mind to keep away from him in future, but to her dismay she realised Edward was quickly developing some sort of misplaced feeling of responsibility for her. As they were sitting eating the evening meal Edward had made for them, it was obvious he'd also been thinking about where she was going to stay and by over-riding all her objections and being horribly high handed, he finally wore her down and she found herself agreeing to spend the rest of the week here with him, which was going to be absolute torture.

But in fact spending time with Edward turned out to be surprising enjoyable, when Bella could stop herself drooling. He was actually extremely easy to be around and as long as she could manage to think of him as some kind of impossibly attractive and indulgent older brother (which admittedly sounded really wrong!) she was reasonably ok.

They had quite similar tastes in films and music and as Bella wasn't up to doing much, they spent a lot of time just chilling out, eating snacks and watching TV. Edward was also very easy to talk to when he wasn't being pompous or bossy and if he started going down that track, they agreed Bella would call him an 'ass' and that would be his warning - if unheeded, awful punishments would follow, which were too terrible for Bella to even describe. Bella also found that watching rugby wasn't half as bad if you had Edward to explain what was going on.

By the end of the week the physical signs of the attack were beginning to fade, but Bella was still feeling tired and emotionally drained, which meant she was still embarrassingly prone to bursting into tears at the tiniest excuse. However Edward managed to put up with this with surprisingly good grace and seemed to have a knack of knowing what to do, either leaving her alone when she needed it, or providing a shoulder to literally cry on.

The most frustrating thing was that although Bella felt safe where she was, the memory of the attack was still so traumatic that she was too scared to leave the flat, let alone go out of the building. She tried to hide these feelings from Edward, because she really didn't want to impose on him any more than necessary, but somehow he seemed to understand her feelings better than she did and he reassured her that this was just a temporary thing and when she felt better physically, she'd also feel mentally and emotionally stronger. In the meantime he insisted he had no problem with Bella staying a little longer.

Although Bella found it difficult to believe she wasn't being a nuisance, in the end she decided to just make the most of Edward's company while it lasted and treat this time as a holiday from her real life. At least she didn't have to worry that her presence was putting a financial strain on him, because by now she'd had the opportunity to google him and she'd discovered he was even more wealthy and successful than she'd suspected and that for some years he'd been in overall charge of the family business - a highly successful and profitable global trading company with an international reputation.

While this underlined to Bella how ridiculous it was for her to indulge in any romantic fantasies, it was nevertheless increasingly easy to forget Edward had the whole world at his feet. Instead he was rapidly becoming the centre of her own small world, someone who was surprisingly kind and generous under the cool and arrogant exterior, someone she could be both silly and sad with and someone she was coming to depend on much more than she should.

* * *

 **Bella gets some visitors in the next chapter - I'll be posting on Tue & Fri next week then Fridays only**

 **xx Suki**


	10. Chapter 10

CHAPTER 10

As their first week together turned into a second and then a third, they were already developing a routine and Bella had started to take over most of the cooking, as a way of thanking Edward for all the time he had spent looking after her. Although in fact it was no hardship for her, because Bella loved cooking, and her favourite time of the day was the early evening, when Edward arrived home from work and after quickly showering and changing, came looking for her in the kitchen, ready to chat about his day and unwind over a glass of wine and the evening papers.

On the evenings when Edward was working late, or had clients to entertain, Bella began to realise how much her day revolved around him and how much she was really going to miss him when this strange arrangement came to an end. In some ways she resented the dependence which had grown up so quickly, because she really didn't want to repeat the patterns of behaviour she had slipped into with Alex, initially because of her youth and inexperience and later because she was afraid of provoking him.

Edward had provided time and a safe haven to recover from her recent ordeal, for which Bella was extremely grateful, but her independence was precious to her now and Edward's tendency to be domineering wasn't helpful, especially when the physical effect he had on her was so overwhelming. Because he had only seen her at her weakest, Bella worried that Edward was under the misapprehension that she was fundamentally weak and broken and someone who needed to be taken care of, when in fact she was more determined than ever to regain the strength and sense of purpose which had deserted her over the last couple of years.

But in spite of these reservations, Bella didn't even want to think about giving Edward up just yet. Having him in her life made her heart skip and her pulse quicken and she felt more alive than she had done for months. She knew she was playing with fire, but in so many ways Edward was impossible to resist.

Apart from the obvious attractions - his physical perfection and devastating charm, his quick intelligence and air of authority, and the velvet timbre of his voice which sent shivers down her spine, Bella loved the tantalising glimpses of the boy Edward must once have been, which were apparent in his habit of running his hands through his hair so that it stood up in all directions, in his sudden unexpected gentleness and the way his whole face lit up and his eyes crinkled at the corners when he smiled at her..

As Edward sprawled on the couch at her side, while they watched late night films together on Carlisle's too small TV, he'd steal her popcorn with a challenging smirk and a raised eyebrow which made Bella's heart beat so fast that she had to remember to even breathe. And often, as she stared at his profile in the dim light, she had an urge to reach out and caress the back of his neck where his hair formed a v just above his collar, sensing that somehow he needed the physical contact too. But the fear of being rejected and the fact that he had never made the slightest move towards her, held her back.

Bella knew she had never felt this way about Alex, even when their relationship had been at its most intense, and sometimes the strength of her feelings scared her. She had to constantly remind herself that Edward had a girlfriend and rein in her jealousy on the nights when she assumed Edward was with Jane. In fact this was difficult to forget when Jane herself turned up one evening, just after Edward had left on a grocery run. Not realising who she was at first, Bella initially tried to keep her out, but Jane had all but forced her way through the door and Bella had the uncomfortable feeling she was not only being scrutinised, but warned off in some way.

The idea that there could possibly be any competition between them was ludicrous in Bella's eyes. Jane had everything Bella lacked and everything someone like Edward couldn't fail to appreciate – physically she was tall, blonde and beautiful with a fantastic figure, but she was also self confident and self possessed, dripping money, class and privilege from every pore. After questioning Bells about her background, her education, her job and her family, Jane decided that after all she wouldn't wait for Edward to come back and promptly left.

The next person to turn up was Emmett, claiming to be 'just passing' at 2 o'clock one afternoon with a flimsy excuse about dropping off some documents for Edward. Emmett was just what Bella had imagined from Edward's numerous stories about their schooldays and from the one-sided phone conversations she'd overheard, which nearly always ended with Edward slamming the phone down in exasperation. Emmett obviously loved to wind Edward up, which Bella thought was probably a good thing in the interests of encouraging him to be less arrogant and pompous and lighten up a bit.

Emmett was physically large and intimidating, with an American accent, a chiselled jaw, a shock of dark hair and a body that was certainly no stranger to the gym. But his friendly and open nature was immediately obvious in his broad smile and the twinkle in his eyes. However, as Emmett formally shook hands with her, Bella recognised a shrewdness and intelligence behind the good humour, which made her realise she was again under scrutiny. What was it with Edward's friends needing to check her out?

She gave herself a bit of breathing space by offering Emmett a seat on the couch while she went to make coffee, but afterwards there was no way she was going to escape another grilling. Unlike Jane, Emmett seemed to know an awful lot about her, including all the details of Mike's attack, which to her own surprise Bella mentioned first. Emmett actually turned out to be a good listener and perhaps because she hadn't been able to talk to anyone else about her ordeal, when Emmett left, Bella realised she felt a lot better and she hadn't been close to crying or panicking the whole time, which was definitely progress.

But she still wondered why Emmett had even been there, and when Emmett's wife Rose appeared at the door the following day, Bella's patience almost snapped and she was about to ask her to come back when Edward was at home, before closing the door in her face. But having heard enough from Edward to know Rose was not easily put off and deciding she might has well get the inevitable over with, Bella grudgingly let Rose in.

Rose swept through the door and without waiting to be invited, made her way to the sitting room and immediately sat down on the sofa, depositing a pile of estate agents' particulars on the low table in front of her. Assuming this was therefore going to be an attempt to prise her out of Edward's living space, the atmosphere was decidedly chilly as Bella waited for Rose to speak.

Unexpectedly, the first thing Rose did was to ask Bella how she was. Stammering slightly Bella replied that she was fine, whereupon Rose surprised her even more, by reaching out a hand, pulling Bella down beside her and hugging her tightly. Bella immediately felt tears welling up in her eyes and she was slightly shocked to see tears glistening in Rose's own eyes, as she took in the extensive bruising which was still visible around Bella's neck.

Smiling kindly, Rose told Bella she was so lucky that Edward had arrived in time, like a knight in shining armour, and she confided that Edward had been so unlike his usual self over the last two weeks that she'd had to come and see for herself what was causing him to be in such a good mood, especially since Emmett had brought back a glowing report about Bella the day before.

Blushing and laughing, Bella denied that Edward's recent behaviour was anything to do with her, but as the conversation moved on to wider topics, she began to warm to Rose, who wasn't half as scary as she first seemed and by the end of the afternoon Bella wistfully hoped she had found someone who might be able to fill some of the gaps Tanya had left in her life.

Gradually the conversation came back to Edward, and Rose asked Bella if he had warned her Carlisle was due back in a few weeks and they would therefore have to move out of the flat. Bella had no idea, but this at least explained why Rose had brought the estate agents' details with her. Feeling slightly faint with panic and more upset than she felt she had a right to be, especially as she had already acknowledged to herself that the current situation couldn't carry on indefinitely, Bella could only try to hide her dismay and make an effort to discuss alternative options with Rose.

In the interests of estimating how much rent Bella would be likely to get if she let out her flat, they also went downstairs so that Rose could see for herself. Tan had recently extended her stay in New York and Washington for another six months, so subletting was a definite option if that was what Bella decided she wanted to do.

And as they walked around the already rather forlorn and abandoned looking rooms, stopping every now and then for Rose to exclaim over Bella's old artwork, which liberally adorned the walls, Bella was more certain than ever that she couldn't live here again, but she had no idea how on earth she was going to be able to scrape together the deposit she needed to move anywhere else.

She also confided to Rose that Vicky had been really annoyed when she'd had to take time off work without any notice and had basically told her not to come back, and as Bella's job search had not been going well, this left her with potentially only the income she earned at the café to live on.

At this news Rose had looked thoughtful, but noticing it was getting late, she'd apologised to Bella for staying so long and said she must get home. They therefore quickly said their goodbyes. But as Rose headed towards the door, she promised she would think about whether there was anything she could do to help and begged Bella not to make any definite decisions until she got back to her.

* * *

 **Edward's been a bit quiet lately, I think he'd better have the next chapter.**

 **See you on Friday xx Suki**


	11. Chapter 11

CHAPTER 11

Edward arrived home soon afterwards in a noticeably bad mood, having spent the last hour trying to break off his relationship with Jane, but somehow getting manoeuvred into maintaining contact, which was against his better judgement and not at all what he had intended. Already fuming at not getting his own way, when Edward noticed the estate agents' particulars still splayed across the coffee table, he barely stopped to listen to Bella's explanation about why they were there, before storming out of the flat, intent on making his displeasure clear to the interfering Rose.

As Edward jumped into his car and started to drive across town, he was so irate that he practically snarled at anyone who got in his way, but as the rush hour traffic slowed to a crawl and his journey took longer and longer, his anger slowly evaporated. Much as he would have liked to remain focussed on Rose, he was honest enough to admit that she was just the easiest target at the moment and he needed to work out who or what, he really felt so angry about.

In reality he knew he was at fault, for not warning Bella he was moving out in less than three weeks and Carlisle would be back from Italy soon after. In fact he hadn't even told her about his new flat and had let her assume Carlisle would be away for several more months. Now there was very little time for Bella to find somewhere else to live and both Bella and Rose must have thought he'd been extremely inconsiderate in neglecting to let her know what was happening.

But the truth was that Edward had been purposely putting off telling Bella. He had told himself he was waiting until she had fully recovered from Mike's attack before putting additional pressure on her, but he knew that deep down he had been refusing to think about the approaching deadline, because he didn't want to let Bella go.

This was so unlike his usual behaviour that Edward had almost begun to believe he was having some sort of mental breakdown. And if that was true, he blamed it all on the sexual frustration which had been building up ever since he'd first caught sight of Bella. Not only was he distracted all day, but when he finally managed to fall asleep, his dreams continued to be filled with erotic fantasies which he savoured with guilty enjoyment.

Sometimes when he couldn't sleep, he'd also been unable to stop himself from stealing into Bella's room and watching her as she slept, which, when he thought about it in the morning, seemed a particularly insane thing to do. But as much as he fought against the temptation, he always returned and he had eventually recognised that the compulsion was more about the desire to be near her and to make sure she was safe, rather than something which was exclusively sexual in intent. Nevertheless he lived in fear of Bella waking up and catching him acting like some kind of weird stalker similar to Mike, which would surely cause her to run away from him for good.

And he couldn't blame her for that. After 'rescuing' Bella from Mike, Edward had quickly realised she wasn't the slutty vamp he'd imagined. The most appropriate description he could immediately come up with was 'sweet' and Edward didn't do sweet. In the days that had followed, he had also realised that Bella was kind, brave, honest, generous and loyal and although he was drawn to her just as much as before, the boundaries had changed and he had no idea what to do with his conflicting impulses, especially the inappropriate sexual desire which he found so difficult to ignore.

On another level, Edward enjoyed the companionship which had built up between them and for the first time in his life he cut back on the hours he spent at work, in favour of the occasional quiet evening at home. Bella's company soothed and relaxed him, but she was also intelligent, witty and fun and he found he was willing to let her tease him and challenge his idea of himself in ways he wouldn't usually have allowed. He was totally unaccustomed to letting anyone get this close to him, but in Bella's case he found he actually liked it.

At times he fantasised about the possibility of a life together, but even setting aside the eleven year age difference, he knew it would be wrong on so many levels. In particular, despite his own almost overwhelming desire, he had no right to try to entice Bella into an incompatible sexual relationship, which he could only see in terms of destroying her innocence. The feelings he had for Bella, which he recognised as similar in some ways to those he had had for Alice, centred around an instinct to protect her and it was impossible for him to ignore that the main threat to her wellbeing currently came from himself.

Edward therefore existed in a torturous state in which his libido was constantly at war with his control and he seemed to be spending an unconscionable amount of time trying to wear himself out in the gym. Bella's presence in his life was simultaneously a gift and an awful temptation and despite his best efforts, Edward was finding it hard to maintain his usual cynicism and detachment, especially when she was so open and trusting, Without any obvious intention, she beguiled and entranced him to such a degree that all he wanted to do was indulge her every whim. Above all she had brought an unexpected lightness into his life and he frequently found himself breaking into a sudden smile at just the thought of her.

Despite his best efforts to conceal his feelings, Edward knew Mrs Cope and Emmett had already noticed a change in him and Emmett's fact finding mission in sneaking off to see Bella had not gone unnoticed. Afterwards Emmett had been unable to refrain from wiggling his eyebrows and bringing Bella's name up at every opportunity, but luckily he had just enough sense not to make any obviously salacious comments, realising that Edward would have flattened him if he did. However Emmett's constant ribbing left Edward feeling uncharacteristically vulnerable, which he wasn't sure he was at all comfortable with.

At first Edward had turned to Jane as a means of dulling the aching need, but after a while he had to admit to himself that this strategy was not working. In fact the contrast between Jane and Bella was so unflattering, that his main reaction to Jane soon turned to boredom and irritability and he could barely stand to be in her company for more than a few minutes.

Edward wondered how he had never noticed Jane's artifice and glaring insincerity before and today's attempt to make a clean break had revealed an even less attractive side to her character. After spitting insults at him from across the room and getting no reaction, she had suddenly lunged at him in an attempt to inflict physical harm. But after an initial scratch across the face, Edward had easily restrained her and in a calculated move intended to regain his sympathy, Jane had then collapsed into a weeping huddle at his feet.

Looking down at her in disgust, not for the first time Edward realised how little he really knew about women. But with a sudden clear-sightedness he recognised that Jane was tenacious and vindictive and definitely likely to cause trouble if he didn't handle the situation more tactfully. Faking a concern he did not feel, he therefore spent a further hour trying to coax her out of her tears, eventually promising to continue to support her charitable work when his busy schedule allowed it.

Inwardly sighing with relief and congratulating himself on having successfully defused the situation, Edward left Jane's house with his mind already turning towards Bella. Anxious to forget about his annoyingly inconclusive break up with Jane and looking forward to relaxing in Bella's much more enjoyable company, he therefore completely missed the look of triumph mixed with disdain which flickered across Jane's face as he walked away.

Having already endured this tiring and uncomfortable start to his evening, Edward was soon cursing his temper for causing him to waste the rest of the day driving halfway across London, upsetting Bella in the process. But as he was now only five minutes away from Emmett and Rose's house, rather than turning straight back, it occurred to him that it might be useful to pay them a visit anyway.

Arriving at his destination, he therefore parked his car across the street and made his way over to the pretty double-fronted villa which Rose's trust fund had paid for. And by the time Emmett buzzed him in, Edward was his usual calm and collected self, no longer spoiling for a fight with Rose, because he was completely focused on an entirely different agenda.

* * *

 **See you again next Friday - Suki**


	12. Chapter 12

CHAPTER 12

It was after eleven when Edward returned and Bella was just about to get off the sofa, where she'd been dejectedly watching trashy TV all evening, to start getting ready for bed. She froze anxiously when she heard the sound of Edward's key in the lock, but to her relief, as he walked across the room and sat down beside her, she could see he had calmed down. Although the dishevelled state of his hair indicated it might have been a struggle.

Bella looked down at the floor and locked her hands tightly together, in her usual battle not to reach out and run her fingers through Edward's untidy hair and smooth back the stray lock which always fell down across his forehead. She had no real idea what he had been so incensed about earlier and although he was no longer angry, he was definitely still distracted, so Bella waited in silence until he'd collected his thoughts and started to speak.

First of all Edward apologised for not having warned her Carlisle needed his flat back in a few weeks time and also for storming out, which was what Bella had expected to hear. But then he surprised her by adding that he had a proposition and there was something he needed to show her straight away. Bella tried to object that it was late and she was tired, but Edward wouldn't accept any excuses and after quickly bundling her into her coat, he ushered her out of the door. Trying to ignore the effect Edward's touch had on her when he took her hand, Bella concentrated on keeping up with him without tripping over her own feet, as he led her downstairs and into his car.

The engine purred quietly into life and soft music began to swirl around the interior as Edward smoothly manoeuvred into the traffic. Accepting that she wasn't likely to get any answers from him just yet and that it was pointless to attempt any sort of polite conversation, Bella let herself sink into the soft leather seat and closed her eyes, enjoying the feeling of being cocooned in a level of understated luxury which had never appealed to Alex's more flashy tastes.

After driving for some time through the heart of the city, as they got closer to the old dockland area Edward turned off the street, through a pair of very solid security gates and into an underground parking garage. Still apparently deep in thought, he helped Bella out of the car and led her into a lift, which swiftly travelled up several floors and deposited them in front of an imposing steel door. As he turned to look at her for the first time, Bella realised that although he was trying very hard to conceal it, Edward was excited and nervous and her stomach dipped as she wondered what was going to appear behind the closed door.

She didn't have long to wait because Edward immediately stepped forward with a key card in his hand and the door swung open, revealing an ante room with another door directly opposite. Edward quickly crossed the space, opened the second door and politely stood back to let Bella go through in front of him, but Bella stood transfixed in the doorway, mesmerised by a glittering array of thousands of multicoloured lights, which appeared on all sides and hung suspended in the darkness.

After a second Bella recognised she was looking at a panoramic view of the London skyline, but the effect was so disorientating that at first she had no idea if she was inside or outside and was half afraid to step forward in case she found herself falling off the edge of a roof. But as her eyes got used to the darkness she was gradually able to make out the outlines of furniture, including several large sofas and a grand piano and she realised they must be in a penthouse flat, standing on the threshold of a large room where the walls were made almost entirely of glass.

Edward flicked on a series of lights which revealed the interior in all its splendour and then dimmed them to a more comfortable level, all the while obviously trying to gauge Bella's reactions. Then instead of explaining, he took Bella's hand again and gave her a tour of the apartment.

None of the other rooms were furnished yet, but when the decorators had finished, there would be a huge state of the art kitchen, a formal dining room, two additional sitting rooms, a study, a cinema room, a gym, several bedrooms and bathrooms and a separate guest wing, all making the most of the glorious views across the Thames and the city. Suddenly the penny dropped and Bella realised this was where Edward was going to be moving to, but after keeping it a secret all this time, why had he suddenly decided to bring her here in the middle of the night?

But it appeared they hadn't finished exploring yet. After he'd shown her all the rooms in the main flat, Edward took her through a large storage room behind the kitchen and into another entirely separate wing with its own kitchen, sitting room and three bedrooms with bathrooms attached. The rooms here were much smaller and cosier and Bella guessed they were intended for live-in staff or security. Was Edward so wealthy that he was going to start employing personal staff to look after him?

Finally Edward led Bella back to where they had started, in the glass sitting room in the main apartment. While Edward remained standing, Bella decided she could definitely do with a sit down after being dragged around so many rooms, so she made herself comfortable on one of the giant sofas, before crossing her arms and looking at Edward expectantly, waiting for an explanation.

Edward's proposition was simple; he was intending to move in here in two weeks time and he was hoping Bella would take the staff flat, as his guest, for as long as it was convenient. In addition, Rose would like to see her in the morning about the possibility of offering her a temporary job, to tide her over until she found more permanent employment. Having listened to all this with her mouth half open in shock, Bella continued to stare at Edward in confusion at first, with no idea of what to say or how to react.

But as the information began to sink in, Bella's main reaction was that she didn't want to be anyone's charity case. She was grateful, but she was having difficulty understanding why someone in Edward's position would want to go to such lengths to help a random stranger he'd only known for a few weeks and although she felt almost light-headed with relief, another more sensible part of her brain was warning her that accepting his offer was likely to end in another emotional disaster.

Perplexed by Bella's reaction and thinking that perhaps she was worried about the terms of his proposal, Edward began to assure her that because the staff flat was completely separate and had its own front door, they would be able to lead entirely separate lives if that was what Bella wanted. He reiterated that he didn't expect anything from her in return and just wanted to help by providing somewhere to stay, until she was able to sort things out for herself.

Although this should have reassured Bella, she suddenly felt as if she was going to cry. And because Edward was growing slightly angry at her unexpected and less than enthusiastic reception of what he knew was a very generous offer, he had reverted to his usual rather formal manner, causing Bella to immediately assume his main motivation was guilt, because he hadn't given her enough warning that they had to move out of Carlisle's flat.

Bella's shoulders slumped as she realised that in any case it was ridiculous to continue to indulge her stupid fantasies and in the interests of self preservation, this was the appropriate time to walk away from Edward, before it became even more difficult than it already was. Misreading her reaction as a sign that she was overtired and blaming himself for springing the idea on her without any warning and dragging her here so late at night, Edward was suddenly at pains to assure Bella that he didn't need an immediate answer and she should think things over and give him her decision in the next couple of days. Which was how they eventually left things.

But the atmosphere in the car on the drive back was awkward and they both pretended they were tired and disappeared into their separate bedrooms as soon as they could. Edward had no idea what had happened and was left wondering how he had managed to totally mishandle what he thought was a simple and obvious solution to Bella's problems.

Had he totally misjudged the situation? He'd always thought Bella had enjoyed staying with him up until now and he had convinced himself that she would be quite happy to continue to share his company, until he'd had the time to somehow work through his feelings for her and let her go. He had no idea what Bella was thinking, but he suddenly had a horrible feeling she was about to slip through his fingers and all things considered he felt he was perfectly justified in being extremely pissed off.

However there was a chance that Rose would be able to make Bella see sense and Edward was relieved that Bella had no objection to finding out more about the job Rose had on offer. In fact after a sleepless night, during which her resolve to not only move away, but also to break off all contact with Edward, had weakened considerably, Bella was hoping to possibly maintain a little second hand contact with Edward through Rose. That couldn't be too bad could it, when she genuinely liked Rose anyway?

Edward had rather grumpily handed over Rose's address and telephone number before he went to bed and informed her that Rose was expecting her at around ten thirty. So at half past nine the next morning Bella let herself out of the flat and headed for Covent Garden.

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 **Another chapter coming up in a minute**


	13. Chapter 13

CHAPTER 13

Exiting the tube station into the July heat, Bella had only a short walk to the office building where Rose rented a floor and as she stood in the foyer waiting for the lift to arrive, she still had no idea what she had let herself in for.

Edward had left for work before she'd been able to ask him any questions and all Bella knew was that Rose ran a small publishing company. She had no idea what type of position she was going to be offered and she was afraid Edward had bullied Rose into offering her a job which would be unsuitable for someone with her total lack of experience. The best she could hope for was that it was some sort of very junior position, in which she could make herself useful running errands.

Bella's apprehension increased when she stepped out of the lift to find herself in a reception area which was much smarter than she had been expecting. The frosty looking receptionist sized her up with one look, obviously found her wanting and after taking her name, turned back to sorting through a pile of glossy magazines. Luckily Rose's assistant Bree came to rescue Bella almost at once and Bella's spirits lifted as she was led into a bright and airy open plan office, where the atmosphere came across as businesslike but friendly, and to her relief most of the employees looked up and smiled at her as she was ushered through to Rose's office.

Rose was her usual mix of warmth and concern, overlaid with hyper efficiency, and she immediately got down to business. It turned out the job she was offering was an internship in the small art department. Lauren, who was basically the art director's assistant's assistant, was about to go on maternity leave earlier than she'd intended and Rose was offering Bella the job of filling in for her, either for the full duration, or if it suited Bella better, for just a few weeks until the job was advertised and a replacement found. Rose then gave a brief outline of what the work would entail, before taking Bella on a tour of the office and leaving her with Lauren to get a better idea of what her responsibilities would be.

Lauren talked nineteen to the dozen, but Bella gleaned enough from the one-sided conversation to make her think that perhaps she could do this. In fact, as she left the building half an hour later, having promised to give Rose an answer by the end of the day, Bella felt surprisingly enthusiastic. From what Lauren had described, the job mainly consisted of researching pictures, liaising with the printers and being at the beck and call of the art director. But it had also been hinted that Rose was planning on overhauling a small specialist magazine she'd recently acquired, with a view to expanding that area of the business and she would therefore definitely need additional permanent staff in the future to work on layout and design.

Although Bella had made it clear to Rose when they first met, that she no longer painted, her artist's eye and the practical commercial art training she'd received at art school, meant she did have skills which could be useful. At least it was better than waitressing and even Bella could see it was worth a try. The only thing holding her back was her fear of not being good enough and letting other people down, which was a frame of mind Alex had subtly manipulated her into from the day they met and which had gone into overdrive afterwards.

Nowadays Bella knew she was barely recognisable as the bright eyed and confident second year art student who'd applied for a part time job at Alex's gallery and then proceeded to take the art world by storm. When she met him Alex had already made a name for himself as an art dealer and consultant and he was also young, good-looking and charming. Barely able to believe her luck when he proceeded to wine and dine her and bombard her with extravagant presents, Bella was swept off her feet.

Within a month Alex had proposed, with the biggest diamond ring Bella had ever seen, and as Alex's girlfriend, Bella had quickly been accepted into the bohemian but moneyed layer of smart London society, where artists, pop stars, filmmakers and writers mingled in an intoxicating whirl of parties, first nights and society events. For a while Bella had burned as brightly as the fluorescent red of her dyed hair, which had become her trademark just as much as the bold colours and sweeping scale of the canvasses she was soon producing for Alex to sell in his gallery.

But the dream had ended as quickly as it had begun. Very early on Bella had realised that Alex had secrets and soon after she moved in with him, he began to spend longer and longer periods away, leaving Bella to organise shows and openings on her own. When she tried to question him, he became defensive and even aggressive and Bella realised he was also drinking too much and dabbling in drugs, which she knew were a hazard of the social circles they were mixing in.

Because she was in love with him, Bella hoped it was just a phase he was going through and tried to be as understanding and supportive as she could. But as time went on, even when Alex was at home, he seemed to spend more and more time with the male friends who turned up at all hours of the day and night. Often he didn't come to bed at all and on other occasions Bella woke up alone, to find Alex had suddenly left the house on urgent business.

In an effort not to become resentful, Bella threw herself even harder into her responsibilities at the gallery, her painting and her new social commitments and tried to enjoy her success. But following the scandal of Alex's disappearance and the almost daily revelations about his true business dealings and links to the Russian mafia, Bella's new circle of friends began to look at her with suspicion, which turned into open hostility, as rumours spread that many of the artworks they'd been encouraged to invest in were fakes.

The suspicion that they had been duped and swindled and the whispers that Alex was involved in money laundering and prostitution, sealed Bella's fate and the relatively small London art world closed ranks against her. Who could possibly believe she was innocent, when the tabloids had revealed that her own wedding had been used as a front for a massive illegal arms deal between 'wedding guests' who had conveniently flown in from all over Europe.

Many of the allegations in the press were blatantly exaggerated or untrue, but with Alex gone and therefore unable to defend himself, all Bella could do was try to maintain a dignified silence in the face of constant hounding by the press. Her life of parties, glamour and conspicuous consumption had come to an abrupt end and she quickly discovered that all the trappings of Alex's apparent wealth had been a mirage - apartments, cars and even the jewellery Alex had showered her with, had all been rented.

No one knew what had happened to the millions Alex was supposed to have made and what little money remained had all been swallowed up by lawyers' bills, as Bella endured weeks of questioning by the police. In the end all that was left were a few of Bella's clothes, including the expensive lingerie Edward had got glimpses of in their first few encounters.

Her paintings, which had previously made high prices, were identified so closely with Alex's discredited career, that apart from a residual novelty value, they were now almost worthless and in any case Bella had totally lost her desire to pick up a brush ever again. Bella's greatest pleasure, her livelihood, and her reputation as an artist had therefore all been destroyed along with her anticipated marriage, leaving her with nothing except her notoriety.

Eventually with no new information coming forward, after a whole summer of harassment by the press, interest moved on to newer stories and Bella was allowed to sink back into obscurity. Her bright scarlet hair and eye catching outfits had served as an armour which helped her through her ordeal, but afterwards she was more than happy to let them go.

Now usually dressed in jeans and a t-shirt, with very little make-up and long hair which she had allowed to revert to its natural dark colour, it was very unlikely that any casual observer would connect her to the notorious Izzy Swan. In addition, after all the fuss had died down, on her father's advice, she had changed her surname to her mother's maiden name. To add to the vanishing act, Tan's inheritance of her grandmother's flat had allowed them to move away from their old address and Isabella had been able to take up a completely new life as Bella Dwyer.

But it was not a life Bella thought she would ever be living and despite the brave face she put on, she had really done nothing more than survive since Alex had jilted her at the altar and vanished. Bella knew working for Rose was probably the best chance she was going to get of making a proper new life for herself and if Tanya had been there Bella knew she would have enthusiastically encouraged her to take the opportunity. She also owed it to Charlie and Sue to make an effort, because they so desperately wanted to see her happy again. So before she was even halfway home, determined to finally make something go right for a change, Bella phoned Rose and told her she would love to accept her offer.

* * *

 **How is Edward going to convince Bella to move in with him?**

 **See you next Friday - Suki xxx**


	14. Chapter 14

**Sorry I posted 2 chapters at once last week - for those of you who missed it, in Chapter 12 Edward showed Bella around his new flat & offered her the staff quarters until she found somewhere else to live (& in Chapter 13 Rose gave Bella a job). So anyway on we go...**

CHAPTER 14

The next decision Bella had to make was a much bigger one, whether to break off any further connection with Edward or move in with him. Rose wanted her to start work on Monday which was only three days away and having a full-time job would definitely limit the time Bella had to look for somewhere to live. The sensible option was to accept Edward's offer, at least for the next few months. But Bella still had huge reservations about voluntarily prolonging the agony of being in daily contact with Edward, while constantly having to hide her true feelings, and she definitely had no illusions that the situation would get easier to handle with time.

Despite sporadic attempts to emotionally distance herself, the undefined relationship they had somehow fallen into was so comforting that it was difficult to be sensible. Without knowing quite how it had happened, Bella realised that if she wasn't careful she would get to the point where her whole life revolved around Edward and she had no idea what he was willing, or able, to offer her in return.

Bella wasn't stupid and she knew better than anyone that Edward could be impatient, arrogant, inflexible and controlling. She was also well aware that underneath the charm was an emotional coldness and detachment which she found quite chilling. But she seemed to be able to tease out a different more relaxed side of Edward's personality, which he was unable to show to anyone else and which she treasured. However despite their closeness, Edward was always extremely careful to maintain a slight distance and Bella had glumly accepted that the feelings she had for him would never be reciprocated.

She couldn't help her daydreams though and it was becoming harder and harder not to overstep the line. She often found herself leaning closer and closer into him as they lounged on the sofa, until he obviously grew uncomfortable and moved away. At times she was so desperate that she was tempted to try to seduce him, but she really didn't know how to go about it.

She imagined pretending there was a spider in the shower and running out in a towel which barely covered her modesty, 'sleepwalking' into Edward's room in the middle of the night, or just plying him with alcohol. But the thought of making the first move filled her with embarrassment and she knew she wouldn't be able to do it. Meanwhile the urge to just touch him became more and more unbearable, to the extent that it often took a huge effort to concentrate on anything else when she was near him.

Therefore despite going over all the pros and cons of his offer for hours, all Bella had achieved by the time Edward came home from work was a headache. Alarmed to find the flat in darkness and a pale looking Bella curled up on the sofa, Edward dropped his briefcase and crouched down beside her, anxious to find out what was wrong. Unable to stop herself smiling up at him, Bella glibly explained she was feeling a bit tired and had been worrying about what Rose was going to expect of her, and luckily Edward accepted her explanation and spent the next ten minutes going through all the reasons why Rose was lucky to have her, before wandering off to make them both a drink

Happy that Edward seemed to have regained his temper and hadn't immediately brought up the subject of moving, Bella decided to take his silence as a sign that he was going to let her make her own decision without putting any further pressure on her, and she breathed a sigh of relief. However far from backing off, Edward had merely decided to take a different approach by emphasising what Bella was going to be missing out on. He therefore put all his considerable energy and charm into the task of making sure Bella was entertained and amused for the evening, while putting the finishing touches to his plans for the upcoming weekend.

For some time, once he was sure she had fully recovered from Mike's attack, Edward had been intending to take Bella away for a relaxing few days in the country. He knew she missed the countryside and he was looking forward to introducing her to the part of Kent he had lived in as a child. The Kent countryside was beautiful, there were plenty of interesting places to visit, as well as any number of good restaurants and pubs and if the sunny weather continued Edward knew several picturesque spots for a picnic. So what could be better than a weekend break before Bella started her new job?

Edward had already booked rooms in Tunbridge Wells for Friday and Saturday night and this location was near enough to drive back to London on Sunday afternoon and still leave enough time for Bella to finish any last minute preparations for her first day at work on Monday. The only problem Edward could see was convincing Bella.

He felt quite confident about persuading her to go away with him, but he knew she would be difficult about letting him pay, so he had concocted a whole story about having arranged a business meeting which had fallen through at the last minute. Emmett would back this story up if necessary and to avoid any over-thinking or last minute objections from Bella, Edward decided his best chance was to spring the whole thing on her when he got home from work on Friday evening and whisk her off straight away.

Bella shouldn't have too many excuses, because she had already confided she was going to relax as much as possible over the weekend. To try to avoid last minute stress she was spending Friday getting her hair cut, shopping for some new work outfits with the last of her savings and generally making sure she had everything ready for Monday in plenty of time.

At six o'clock on Friday evening Edward therefore parked his newly valeted sports car outside and ran up the stairs to the flat two at a time, with an almost childish sense of anticipation bubbling up inside him. But the sight that met his eyes when he opened the door completely floored him and stopped him in his tracks.

Judging by the bags and clothes scattered around, Bella had been trying on her purchases in front of the hall mirror, which was the only full length mirror in the flat. She had her back to the front door, but turned her head when Edward appeared and greeted him with a happy smile, before going back to twisting from side to side, in an effort to get an all round view of herself in her new clothes.

Since his very first glimpses of Bella, which he had almost managed to put out of his mind, Edward had got used to seeing her in comfortable loose fitting clothes, with no make-up and long un-styled hair, but Bella had decided to go for a bit of a makeover today. The clothes she had bought, although suitable for the office, really showed off her figure in a way Edward wasn't expecting and her hair was newly glossy, discretely highlighted and piled up on top of her head, in a style which emphasised the delicate curve of her neck

For once Bella had felt so good about her appearance that she had decided to drag Edward out for a cheap meal somewhere to celebrate her new job, and with this in mind, she had already showered and put on some eye make up and lipstick. But before getting changed to go out, she'd decided to quickly try on her purchases, which included a couple of pairs of shoes with killer heels and she had been in the middle of assessing these with the last work outfit, when Edward turned up.

Taken by surprise, Edward stood frozen in the doorway, powerless to stop the barrage of x-rated images which flooded his mind as his eyes slowly swept over Bella's body. The air between them was suddenly crackling with electricity, and the pull was so intense that Edward's usual self control evaporated, leaving him hungry and wanting, consumed by a burning need which made a mockery of the effort he had put into denying the powerful attraction he felt towards her and the careful charade he had maintained for so long.

As Edward's eyes darkened and he took a slow step forward, he savoured the anticipation of finally taking what was his. He was already so aroused that he could almost feel and taste her, lost in the moment when his hands and mouth would claim her body, while she writhed in pleasure and screamed his name. But just as the last shred of restraint slipped away from him, he realised Bella was also standing motionless, staring back at his reflection with a look of absolute shock on her face.

Feeling as if a bucket of cold water had suddenly been thrown over him, Edward somehow managed to pull himself together enough to mutter an apology and quickly step out of Bella's view and into the kitchen. Sitting down at the kitchen table, he wiped his hands over his face and helped himself to a steadying glass of whiskey, while he struggled to get his body back under control, realising he was literally shaking with the effort of trying to rein in his lust.

He felt not only ashamed, but disturbed and appalled by the violence of his sudden reaction and had no idea how he had come so close to jeopardising their relationship. At least the look of shock he had seen on Bella's face would keep him from making a similar mistake again and he hoped that coming so close to losing control would enable him to be better prepared in future.

Thankfully when Bella re-appeared a few minutes later, she was back in her habitual baggy jeans and t-shirt and Edward managed to excuse his strange behaviour and back up his original plan, by pretending he'd just been informed the business associate he was supposed to be meeting this weekend had been arrested for fraud. Bella was all too willing to believe she had misinterpreted Edward's expression, because any other explanation was obviously ridiculous. To Edward's relief she therefore not only accepted his story about an aborted business trip, but also enthusiastically agreed to his suggestion that she should spend the weekend with him in Kent instead.

Feeling slightly giddy after her successful shopping trip and looking forward to the new possibilities which were finally opening up for her, Bella was definitely in the mood for swapping her original idea of an evening out for a whole weekend away. Once Edward had showered and changed, they therefore quickly packed and set off, leaving Edward feeling slightly surprised at how well his plan had worked out.

In fact Bella was so innocently happy and excited about their trip that Edward was able to forget his earlier faux pas and quickly settle back into his usual brotherly role, confident in the belief that he wouldn't slip up so easily again.

* * *

 **A lovely weekend in the country, what could be nicer?**

 **See you next week xx Suki**


	15. Chapter 15

CHAPTER 15

The weekend looked set to be a huge success. Edward couldn't remember when he had last felt so relaxed and stress free and Bella was as happy and excited as he could possibly have wished for. Even the traffic conditions were kind to them and once they got out of the rush hour traffic, they made good time and arrived in Tunbridge Wells at a little after eight o'clock.

Edward had chosen a suitably luxurious and exclusive hotel located in one of the smart Georgian terraces in the centre of the old spa town and once they'd checked in and he was sure Bella was happy with the arrangements, they decided to explore a little before dinner.

Although the shops were closed Bella was quite content to stroll around the town centre, window shopping and admiring the old buildings, while Edward pointed out places he remembered from his childhood. Then after returning to their hotel for a leisurely meal, they tried several pubs until they found a quiet old fashioned inn with an inglenook, where they settled in with a handful of tourist brochures to plan the rest of their weekend.

Bella didn't know if it was the holiday mood, the summer weather or the new job which was waiting for her on Monday, but she couldn't remember the last time she had felt so happy. And as she listened to Edward expounding on the various tourist attractions in the area, she couldn't help but smile at his boyish enthusiasm and her heart swelled in appreciation of how much he obviously wanted her to enjoy this weekend and how much trouble he was going to on her behalf.

Finally, after agreeing on a basic itinerary for the next day, they made their way back to the hotel. But too excited (and slightly drunk) to want to end the evening just yet, Bella refused to listen to any suggestion that an early night would be a good idea if she really wanted to fit in everything on their list tomorrow, and instead she insisted on invading Edward's room to watch TV.

Because there was only one chair, Edward good-humouredly allowed Bella to take possession of the bed. But Bella was absolutely convinced he could only see the screen properly if he sat next to her, so they ended up kicking off their shoes and sitting side by side at the head of the bed, feasting on pink champagne and glittery pink fairy cakes which Bella had made Edward call up from room service, while they tried to agree on something they both wanted to watch.

One of the reasons why Bella was already feeling a lot less stressed was that on the drive down from London, she had finally decided that despite her reservations she would accept Edward's offer of a place to stay. Although she hadn't told him yet, she had immediately felt as if a weight had been taken off her shoulders and right now, nestled into the pillows at Edward's side and swigging the last of the champagne, she was definitely happy with her decision.

She was also extremely pleased with herself for managing to swipe the last cake from under Edward's nose while he was searching for the channel listings, but she spluttered half of it out again when she gleefully realised he'd inadvertently brought up a porn channel. Ignoring her giggly pleas to keep it on, Edward gave her a warning look and they settled down to watch something more appropriate. But if Bella had looked a little closer she might have noticed a slight tightening of Edward's jaw, which didn't disappear until she said goodnight and reluctantly made her way back to her own room.

-ooo-

The next morning they got up early and set off in Edward's car. The weather was absolutely glorious and after Edward had shown Bella around the village where his old prep school was located, they spent the rest of the morning exploring the nearby countryside on foot. Afterwards they returned to the car to collect the hamper the hotel had provided and Edward led Bella to a secluded spot beside a stream, which was perfect for a picnic.

With an appetite sharpened by fresh air and exercise, Bella's eyes widened as she took in the array of savoury and sweet treats Edward spread out in front of her and she smiled with delight when she spotted yet another bottle of the best champagne, which Edward was keeping chilled in the surprisingly cold water of the stream that bubbled along beside them.

If anything the food tasted even better than it looked and Bella was anxious to sample it all, before a laughing Edward could polish off more than his fair share. Then, finally sated and unable to squeeze in one more morsel, Bella sleepily lay back on the grass to soak up some sunshine, before they set off on the next part of their sightseeing trip.

As usual Edward found it difficult to just relax and Bella smiled to herself as she watched him poking about in the stream with a stick, all remnants of the stuffy businessman gone, as he clambered about in a pair of stout walking boots, perfectly fitting worn denim jeans and a navy polo shirt, which he had left unbuttoned at the neck, revealing a tantalising glimpse of lightly bronzed skin and a smattering of chest hair.

Conscious that her gaze was not as innocent as it should be, Bella reluctantly dropped her eyes and flipped onto her stomach, before Edward could look up and catch her ogling. But seconds later she screamed in surprise when a hail of cold water drops suddenly began to rain down on her back and she hastily turned round to find Edward standing over her, brandishing a rusty watering can he had retrieved from the stream.

Scrambling to her feet in an effort to avoid a soaking, Bella somehow managed to only make things worse by bumping into Edward's arm and tipping the entire contents of the can over herself. Spluttering in shock, she gasped as she felt the icy water soak her thin t-shirt and the front of her jeans, before trickling down into her shoes. Still shivering from the deluge and trying to push her dripping hair away from her face, Bella wiped her eyes with her sleeve to find Edward standing inches away from her, with the widest grin she had ever seen on his face.

Deciding he was enjoying her discomfort far too much, Bella immediately retaliated by shoving him in the chest, with a force which almost succeeded in tipping him backwards into the stream, but Edward recovered his balance in time and gave chase, as Bella hastily started running towards the safety of the car.

The car was parked at the side of a lane a whole field away and Edward could have easily caught Bella in a couple of strides. But instead he pretended to stalk her, playfully lunging and retreating in turn, as she took an erratic zigzagging course across the grass, at one moment looking back at him over her shoulder and inviting him to come and get her and at the next screaming and giggling as he got too close. When they were about ten yards from the car, Edward finally pounced from behind, wrapping his long arms around her, so that Bella's own arms were pinioned tightly to her sides and she was effectively his prisoner.

Finding it was useless to try to struggle against his superior strength, Bella stilled and concentrated on getting her breath back, realising with surprise that Edward was equally breathless, when she felt his warm breath tickling her ear as he panted into her hair. Twisting round in his arms to berate him further for making her soaking wet, Bella forgot what she was going to say as soon as their eyes met.

From the second he had touched her, she had felt the familiar tingle of electricity and now it seemed to surge and pulse in the air around them, sealing them off from their surroundings so completely that the only thing which existed was his tight gaze and the feel of his body against hers. She wanted him with every fibre of her being and when she saw his eyes flicker to her lips, she thought for one delirious moment that he was about to kiss her. But instead he swore under his breath and abruptly let her go, before turning and jogging over to the car, opening the boot, and taking something out of it.

Struggling to cope with the wave of disappointment which was sweeping over her, Bella dragged her eyes away from Edward's retreating back, blinked hard and then stared down at the ground in an effort to regain her scattered wits. When she looked up again she found Edward had returned and was holding his overcoat out to her and it was only then that she remembered her hair was dripping and her t-shirt and jeans were uncomfortably wet. Meanwhile Edward was apologising for only having his coat for her to change into and insisting she should take off her wet clothes, while he went back and collected up the picnic things.

Bella's cheeks flamed when she followed Edward's eyes down towards her chest and realised her bra was soaking wet as well as her white t-shirt and her jeans, and as soon as Edward had turned his back, she therefore took his advice. Ducking down behind the car, she removed all her clothes apart from her knickers and then put on Edward's coat, which somehow managed to swamp her, while at the same time leaving her feeling vulnerable and exposed.

At least she didn't have to wait too long for Edward to arrive back with the picnic basket, and after he'd thrown everything into the boot, they set off on the half hour journey back to the hotel. Uncomfortably aware she was almost naked beneath the coat, Bella tried her best to distract herself. But after fiddling with the radio for a while and finding that all her attempts at conversation failed, due to Edward's terse replies and determination to keep his eyes fixed straight ahead, Bella eventually had to concede defeat and they drove the rest of the way back in complete silence.

As soon as they drew up outside the hotel, Bella was so anxious to get away from the tense atmosphere that she jumped out of the car and ran straight up the stairs to her room. Once inside, she leant back against the closed door and tried to work out exactly what had happened to spoil the mood, when everything had been going so well.

Judging by Edward's clenched jaw and inability to look her in the eye, she had made him feel really uncomfortable again. Why on earth had she gone and behaved like a silly schoolgirl and then let her imagination go into overdrive and convinced herself he was about to kiss her? It was beyond ridiculous and all she'd managed to do was embarrass them both. She really would have to make a better job of hiding her feelings in future; otherwise it would be impossible to maintain any type of relationship. And sighing in defeat, she crossed the room, pulled a change of clothes out of her suitcase and headed for the shower.

* * *

 **Sorry to tease again - it's Edward's fault not mine (!) & I'm afraid you'll have to be patient for a little bit longer.**

 **Thank you to everyone for reading, favouriting & following and a special thank you to my reviewers including the 'guests' that I can't respond to personally - thank you for your kind words.**

 **In the next chapter Edward behaves badly & reveals more than he intended**

 **See you in a weeks time xx Suki**


	16. Chapter 16

CHAPTER 16

By the time she'd finished her shower Bella was feeling more composed and luckily when she quickly made her way back downstairs, Edward seemed his usual self again. After checking the hotel lobby and the deserted dining room, Bella had found him sitting at the bar chatting to the barman and as she stood unobserved in the doorway, she was struck as always by just how physically alluring Edward was and how he seemed to cast a spell over everyone he met.

The barman was palpably ready to throw himself at Edward's feet at the slightest excuse and it was pointless to deny that she was equally dazzled. But if she was going to continue to be part of his life Bella was determined to make a better job of controlling her feelings. Surely it shouldn't be that difficult to keep in the friend zone, after all they'd only known each other for a few weeks and for all she knew they might be thoroughly sick of each other in another few week's time. If she made an effort to be sensible now it would make things so much easier in the future and her heart wouldn't be bruised and battered at the end of it.

Meanwhile, oblivious of what was going on in Bella's head, Edward was anxious to resume their sightseeing tour and unlike the last time, as they drove back to where they had left off, he seemed to have no difficulty at all in keeping up an amusing flow of conversation, which kept Bella thoroughly entertained.

Although it was too late to visit Hever Castle as they'd originally intended, they spent a pleasant afternoon wandering around the house and gardens at Penshurst Place, which Edward was so familiar with that Bella thought he must have visited often as a child. But wary of disturbing his current happier mood with too many personal questions, which she knew from experience he would probably refuse to answer anyway, Bella decided not to pry and gave herself over to simply enjoying the rest of their day together.

After seeing all there was to see and making time for a short stop at the teashop to keep them going, they took the scenic route back to their hotel, leaving a couple of hours to relax before heading out to a local restaurant where Edward had booked a table for dinner.

Bella spent the time catching up on a few emails before taking a leisurely bath, and after doing her make up and pinning her hair up into a loose twist, she brought out the frock she'd been saving for a special occasion. The amber coloured Chinese silk, embroidered all over with tiny flowers, really suited her colouring and as Bella gave herself a last once over in the mirror, she was happy with how presentable she looked.

It had been a long time since Bella had been taken to dinner at an expensive restaurant and she was really looking forward to it, but Edward seemed very subdued from the minute he came to collect her from her room and to Bella's dismay the evening soon began to go downhill fast.

Although Edward had been perfectly affable and charming company all afternoon and Bella had thought their relationship was back on an even keel, as the evening progressed and his mood became more and more brittle, she realised she was wrong. There was definitely a coldness in his eyes which she had never seen before and at times he seemed to be deliberately taunting and mocking her, while her attempts at trying to coax him out of whatever bad mood he had fallen into were becoming more and more unsuccessful.

Bella also realised with trepidation that Edward was drinking much more than he usually did and although he didn't appear to be drunk exactly, she was sure the alcohol was contributing to the general situation and she kicked herself again for somehow precipitating him into this mood, by being so stupid earlier in the day.

As she sat toying with her main course, Bella tried to work out what was going on with him. She thought she had got to understand Edward well over the short time they'd known each other, but she realised with a shiver that the person sitting opposite her was almost a complete stranger. Although she had glimpsed traces of this hard and almost cruel side of his personality before, she had never seen its full effect and it scared her.

Warily keeping her eyes on him, almost as if he was a dangerous wild animal, Bella tried to find reasons for his sudden antagonism. She wished she knew more about his background and the breakdown of his marriage, which he had never talked about, and she wondered whether something she had done or said had reminded him of a painful incident in his past, which had caused him to lash out.

But as she watched him sitting back in his chair, with all the swagger and overbearing arrogance of someone with an inborn conviction of his own superiority and entitlement, Bella began to wonder if she was simply getting a glimpse of the real Edward.

While the waiters fawned over them and the restaurant manager hovered in the background, Bella tried to finish her meal as quickly as possible. But Edward seemed to be determined to take his time and Bella was soon fidgeting with impatience, as she waited for him to finish his last glass of wine and call for the bill, so that she could escape back to the hotel.

Although it was probably not apparent to anyone else, Bella could see that Edward had definitely had too much to drink at this point and as his eyes glittered in the light of the candles romantically placed around the room, she waited for him to break the heavy silence which had lasted for most of the last two courses. Instead, with a sardonic smile and an amused lift of his eyebrow, Edward rose to his feet, throwing a large amount of cash onto the table, before making his way to the door.

To her dismay, once they left the restaurant, Edward refused to go back to the hotel and began making his way towards the pub they had discovered the previous day. Bella was in two minds about whether to go back to the hotel on her own, but eventually decided to go with him, only because it was preferable to sitting alone in her room wondering what he was up to.

When they reached the pub, despite her current mood, Bella couldn't help possessively steering Edward out of the way of a posse of Jane look-alikes, who had followed them in and were soon clustering around the bar, loudly discussing the play they had just seen at the local theatre, while eying Edward with interest.

Annoyed with herself for putting up with his behaviour and pushing away the thought that perhaps she should just abandon him to his new admirers, Bella sat down at a table in the corner, while Edward waited to be served at the bar. When he came back, it didn't escape her notice that unlike last night, when they had both happily squashed into a booth together, Edward chose to sit across the table from her, silently sipping his beer and occasionally glancing towards the women who continued to cluster around the bar.

Suddenly seething with anger, Bella wished she had the courage to confront him head on and ask him to explain exactly what she had managed to do to upset him so much, but looking at his face she was pretty certain he would only say something cutting, or refuse to answer at all. However, after sitting in complete silence for some time morosely staring into his beer glass, Edward suddenly seemed to pull himself together and he got up to get another round of drinks.

Bella was now forced to watch with helpless fascination as Edward made his way through the group of women, realising they were about to make a move on him. Seconds later two of them leaned in and although Bella couldn't hear any of the conversation, she saw Edward briefly turn his attention to them. But before Bella could look away, both women drew back in obvious distaste and disgust and after a heated discussion amongst themselves, the whole group immediately got up and left. A minute later, Edward sauntered back with a smile on his face and a vicious glint in his eye, although Bella refused to give him the satisfaction of asking what he had just said or done to drive his admirers away so effectively.

After this incident Edward seemed to cheer up a little and for once he seemed to be in the mood to talk about his family. Although she was extremely curious, Bella's few previous attempts at extracting personal information had failed, because Edward tended to clam up and change the subject when she tried to trade family stories. All she really knew was that he had inherited the family business from his father, that his mother, like hers, had died when he was young (but unlike Bella he had never talked about the circumstances) and that he had a stepmother whom he hated.

Edward started off by keeping to the safer subject of ancient family history, although his main intention seemed to be to illustrate what utter scoundrels all his ancestors were. His family had lived in this area of Kent for generations and together with their distant relatives the Sidneys, had owned most of the local land. Edward gave her a potted history from the middle ages to the present day, bringing to life a colourful line of gamblers, womanisers and adventurers, who had eventually lost all their money and estates, before sailing off to take their chances in the far flung reaches of the British Empire.

His great great grandfather had made a fortune in Australia, while other relatives had won mining concessions in South Africa and South America. After another shaky period at the turn of the century and without attracting the label of anything as vulgar as trade, between the wars his grandfather had managed to consolidate and enlarge on the remaining family assets, handing on what by now amounted to the family business to Edward's father, who as Bella already knew, had died some years ago, not long after Edward had finished university.

Bella asked Edward if he had been happy to inherit such a large company while he was still in his early twenties, because it must have been a huge responsibility. At first she thought Edward wasn't going to answer her when he continued to stare into his glass, but after a while he began to talk and finally Bella began to understand some of the reasons why he seemed to be so emotionally closed at times. Although Edward's account of his family life was halting and obviously difficult for him to talk about, he gave Bella enough information to construct a fairly accurate picture.

After the death of his first wife, who was unable to give him any children, his father had married again in his fifties and less than a year afterwards Edward had been born. But the triumph of finally having a son and heir had been soured by a deep-seated fear that Edward would turn out to be as irresponsible and unreliable as his mother and ruin them all. His father certainly had reasons for these concerns. He had always had a taste for women who were much younger than he was and his new wife, who he was almost thirty years his junior, had no discernable interests apart from enjoying herself and spending large amounts of his money.

Her life consisted of parties, shopping trips and holidays and she saw no reason to alter this in any way after Edward was born, leaving the young child in the care of a succession of nannies and only fleetingly descending on the nursery, usually as she was on her way out of the house. Nevertheless Edward loved his mother and lived in anticipation of her short visits, when she would appear in a cloud of perfume, hugs and laughter, brightening up the otherwise dreary days.

In contrast his father cut a serious and forbidding figure and because of the long hours he worked, Edward rarely saw him, except for when he was being punished for some childish misdemeanour. Their relationship quickly became strained and distant, making Edward feel as if he was always being judged and found wanting in some way, unaware that the root of the problem was that his father had suspicions that he was not in fact his biological son, given Edward's copper hair and green eyes and his own dark complexion and dark hair. Deprived of a proper relationship with his father, the main lesson Edward had learnt from him was to be wary of women, who would be attracted by his money and social status and should never be trusted.

As Edward got slightly older, he became aware of the furious rows between his parents, which eventually led to his father more or less retreating to a separate wing of the house, while his mother kept to her own suite of rooms. Both now seemed to have plenty of friends, who injected bursts of noise and colour into the otherwise gloomy household, but as neither of his parents showed much interest in him and existed on the periphery of his life, Edward only viewed these comings and goings from a distance What he became aware of much later, but couldn't possibly have realised at the time, was that his father was physically violent and his mother was addicted to prescription medicines and from early on in their marriage, they had both turned to a succession of lovers.

Edward's mother suddenly left when he was six, apparently spiralling further into a life of debauchery and drugs, cut short by a fatal car accident a year later. At this point the lonely little boy was wrenched away from everything that was familiar and in which he had managed to find some comfort - his mother's infrequent visits, which nevertheless he had still looked forward to, the only nanny he had known for longer than a few months, who had stayed because she loved him and most of all the local prep school where he was happy and had friends. Once Maria, his new stepmother to be, arrived a few days after his mother's death, everything changed and without even having a chance to properly mourn his mother, Edward was packed off to boarding school and left to fend for himself.

Coming to a stop at this point, Edward suddenly looked up and met Bella's gaze, perhaps realising how much information he had just given away. Too upset to hide her emotions quickly enough, Bella felt Edward's eyes boring into her for a second, before the shutters came down and his expression visibly hardened. Apologising for keeping Bella up with his idiotic rambling, Edward immediately stood and with a finality which Bella knew there was no point arguing with, insisted they were both tired and should go to bed.


	17. Chapter 17

CHAPTER 17

Once back at their hotel, they separated immediately and went to their own rooms, where Bella spent a very restless night, alternately dreaming about being trapped in a gloomy old house which she couldn't find the way out of and lying awake thinking about Edward, or more accurately the neglected and unloved child she now knew he had been.

Certain that talking to her must have dredged up unhappy memories, Bella thought she could occasionally hear movement from the room next door, indicating that Edward was also having trouble sleeping. She longed to go and comfort him, but fearing another rejection, she just couldn't quite bring herself to initiate the contact and after another hour or so, she finally fell into an exhausted sleep.

The next morning, once she had showered and dressed, Bella knocked on Edward's door with trepidation, not knowing what to expect. But when Edward appeared, he seemed to be suffering no ill effects whatsoever, either from lack of sleep or the copious amounts of alcohol he had consumed the night before. If Bella had thought he would be embarrassed or concerned by his behaviour or by last night's disclosures, she was also mistaken and after taking her hand, Edward merely smiled, politely enquired if she had slept well and led her down to breakfast as if nothing at all had happened.

While they were sitting at the table waiting for their breakfast to be brought in, Bella was therefore surprised when Edward suddenly apologised for giving the impression that he had had an unhappy childhood. After all it was routine for children of his class to be sent away to school and once he had got used to it, he said, he had thoroughly enjoyed his time as a boarder and he had of course met his closest friends Emmett and Jasper at school, where they had all been in the same house.

To answer Bella's original question from last night, Edward explained the education he received had also enabled him to do well at Cambridge and at Harvard Business School and ultimately to take over his father's company. He had also eventually been able to convince his father of his steadiness and although they were never particularly close or comfortable with each other, once he became aware his health was failing, his father had groomed Edward to take over from him, finally believing that with the support of the board and his own long term advisors, his son would not make a complete hash of everything.

Edward confided that his father's growing distrust of Maria, his third wife, was also a major factor in his change of heart and although he had made sure Maria would receive an extremely generous income from the business and retain a lifetime interest in the family house and estate, all the main assets were held in trust and would revert to Edward and his descendants on her death.

It didn't escape Bella's notice that Edward couldn't hide his dislike every time he mentioned his stepmother's name. From something Rose had originally mentioned, Bella was aware that although Maria was only in her late forties, after suffering a series of strokes over the last couple of years, she had been left completely paralysed and unable to communicate and was now looked after by a team of nurses in the family home.

But although, apart from Carlisle, Maria was the nearest thing to any family he had, Edward never usually mentioned her and Bella had wondered for some time what the full story was. But because she was trying very hard not to let the things Edward had already told her affect her usual behaviour towards him, Bella decided to ignore her curiosity for now and not ask any more questions.

With this in mind, Bella therefore allowed Edward to steer the conversation into a discussion about how to spend their last day in Kent and after deciding to make the most of the sunny weather, they spent the morning exploring more of the local countryside and some of the quaint villages nearby. Coming across a Sunday market they stopped and bought a few provisions to take home with them and then enjoyed a leisurely lunch at a country pub before driving back to London.

If anything had changed after Edward's uncharacteristically frank revelations, neither of them was willing to admit or discuss it. But with her new knowledge, Bella couldn't help speculating about the damage Edward's childhood had done to him. Although she now understood why he was so guarded, she wondered more than ever what else was hidden beneath the coolly speculative gaze and the winning charm, which Edward had obviously learned to mask his feelings with.

As she remembered how he had dealt with Mike and how his whole demeanour and stance had hardened and his eyes had narrowed into steely chips of green ice, Bella shivered to think how relentless he could be and how ruthlessly and economically he would dispose of anyone who crossed him. His emotional detachment and superior intelligence would certainly make him a force to be reckoned with and a dangerous and unforgiving enemy.

On the surface things carried on as normal when they got back to London. Edward had never asked Bella if she had changed her mind about moving in with him, because somehow there was no longer any question. And as it happened, the evening after they arrived back, Carlisle telephoned Edward to ask if they could possibly vacate his flat sooner than agreed, because he was returning home with friends who desperately needed somewhere to stay.

Of course Edward and Bella said yes, but this meant that as well as starting her new job, Bella had to move into Edward's penthouse two weeks earlier than expected and before most of the furniture had arrived. Luckily the electricity and water had been connected and the bathroom was finished, but the kitchen was still being installed and they spent a rather uncomfortable week and a half, camping out in the almost empty flat and living on takeaways.

Edward was annoyed that Bella had refused his offer to rent hotel rooms instead and Bella had to work really hard to coax the unamused expression off his face and convince him it was good for the soul to slum it occasionally. At any rate they survived and in fact Bella suspected Edward was often hiding a smile behind his grumpy exterior.

Once the flat was properly habitable, and Edward's wealth certainly helped to make the transition as smooth and speedy as possible, their usual easy relationship continued, although Bella was still struggling with her feelings for him. Despite her best intentions she knew she was already in way over her head. She had always been puzzled by Edward's interest in her and if he dropped her now, she would definitely break.

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 **Thanks for being patient. I'll be posting another chapter on Tuesday so that I can get where I want to be for next Friday & then things will be moving on a bit faster. xx Suki**


	18. Chapter 18

CHAPTER 18

As the summer came to an end and colder autumn days began to draw in, Bella found herself spending more and more time alone, which made her question Edward's motives even more. He was working so late that sometimes she didn't see him for days and their cosy evenings and weekends together became less and less frequent.

Eventually Edward's absence became so marked, that Bella began to worry he was purposely avoiding her. Sometimes, in unguarded moments, she thought she caught him staring at her with a pained expression in his eyes, before the mask went up again, and it seemed to her he was becoming increasingly restless and tense.

With barely any warning he disappeared completely for several days at a time on sudden business trips and when he was at home he was often preoccupied, or shut in his office for hours. Missing their previous closeness, Bella couldn't help worrying that after all he regretted his decision to share his flat with her. However she shied away from directly confronting him or examining their relationship too closely, because she didn't have the energy to deal with another upheaval in her life, on top of all the demands of her new job.

Although she was enjoying working for Rose, it had been a while since Bella had kept office hours and at first she found the effort and concentration required to learn the ropes exhausting. She had also joined the company at a particularly busy time of year, which meant for the first few weeks after she started, things were extremely hectic and she too was having to put in extra hours.

But not only did Bella quickly come to enjoy the work, she found she was actually very good at it. Starting with researching pictures and illustrations, helping with the design and mock up of book jackets and generally making herself useful, in no time at all Bella had been promoted to working on revamping the layout and design of the monthly arts magazine Rose had recently taken over.

To everyone's surprise, apart from Rose who couldn't hold in her smug grin, Bella was soon proving herself to be more than capable of the responsibility she'd been given. As for Rose, she was convinced that Bella's originality, flair and hard work, would guarantee a big lift in the magazine's sales when the official re-launch was held in a few months time.

Despite her niggling uncertainty about her relationship with Edward, things were therefore working out much better than Bella had ever expected. The realisation that she had developed into a real asset as far as Rose was concerned, provided her with a new- found source of confidence and security, under which she began to blossom. Rose was quickly becoming the older sister Bella had never had, but just as importantly, Bella was also making friends with her co-workers and beginning to make a real life for herself and at last she felt the past was loosening its hold and she was finally emerging from the lethargy which had swallowed her up and stifled her creativity.

Encouraged by the artistic environment and the work she was now involved in, as time went on, during meetings or long telephone calls and without any conscious volition, Bella began to find herself doodling or making small sketches in the margins of her notebook. Sometimes the designs stuck in her head and after everyone else had gone home, she began trying to properly develop her ideas and get them down on paper.

Over the weeks her enthusiasm slowly but steadily grew, until she took the big step of starting to paint again. But whereas before she had always worked on a large scale, she now began experimenting with very small canvases and concentrated explosions of vivid colour, producing works which were intricately detailed and jewel-like in their intensity.

Excited by this new burst of creativity, Bella was using one of the spare bedrooms in her part of the flat to paint in, although it was really much too small and dark for the purpose. The main requirement for any artist was light and what Bella really wanted was to turn the unused room, between her flat and the kitchen of the main apartment, into a studio.

This connecting area, which also had access to the roof and the emergency stairs, was currently being used as a store room, but it was large and airy with a high ceiling. Most importantly, in common with all the rooms on this side of the building, it faced south and had floor to ceiling windows, which meant it was flooded with light for most of the day. This made it more than perfect for a studio and would also have the benefit of giving Bella access to the stupendous views.

After building up her courage for several days, Bella therefore made up her mind to ask Edward for permission to take over the store room the next time she saw him, but as it happened, this turned out to be very early on a Sunday morning. Bella was already up and dressed at seven o'clock, because Charlie was in London for a weekend conference and she had arranged to meet him for a quiet breakfast, before the remainder of his packed agenda kicked in. She was hunting for her keys in the kitchen when she heard the front door open and soon after, a bleary eyed Edward wandered into the room.

Shocked by his drawn appearance, Bella could only stare as he made his way to the table and sat down heavily, looking as if he was about to collapse from fatigue at any moment. For once Edward also looked slightly dishevelled and it was obvious he had been up all night. Assuming Jane was the culprit, because she had no idea Edward had broken up with her weeks before, Bella rolled her eyes and decided she had time for a cup of tea before she left and in that case she might as well just go ahead and ask Edward about the studio, in case she didn't see him again for days.

Taking a seat at the table while she waited for the kettle to boil, Bella found herself blurting out her request without any preamble and to her surprise Edward said yes straight away. His head sprang up as soon as she told him she was painting again and his eyes focused on her face, making Bella blush and become more and more distracted as she tried to explain how unexpected and fulfilling it was, when all her artistic inspiration had deserted her for so long and she had been convinced she would never paint again.

As he listened Edward's whole body had seemed to relax and a brilliant smile lit up his face, chasing away the dark shadows and making him look years younger. Then without giving Bella a chance to recover from the effect his smile was already having on her, he reached out his hand and gently ran a finger over the tired lines around her eyes and at the corners of her mouth, as if he was trying to erase them. But the sudden spluttering of the boiling kettle disturbed the moment, and turning away sharply, Edward stood up and quickly left the room, leaving Bella suddenly blinking back tears she had no idea were there.

When she got back to the flat after meeting Charlie, Edward had disappeared again and Bella couldn't help feeling they'd missed an opportunity to talk. But refusing to become downhearted, she turned her attention to moving into her new studio and by the end of the afternoon, she'd managed to get the room cleaned and tidied and had everything arranged to her liking.

After moving the original contents (which were mostly half-filled packing cases) to the back of the room and stacking them neatly against the wall, Bella was surprised at how large the space actually turned out to be and once her easel was set up in front of the window, she hugged herself with delight, because it was just perfect. All she needed now was a decent sound system playing in the background and she'd be all set.

* * *

 **Next (longer) chapter on Friday, in which Bella worries about Edward's nightmares and ends up in a compromising position xx Suki**


	19. Chapter 19

CHAPTER 19

While Bella was fully occupied with her job and her painting, Edward remained preoccupied and remote. Although he tried to make an effort to be his usual self with Bella and was obviously very pleased about her success at work and the fact that she was painting again, Bella still felt something was not quite right.

The main sign of strain was Edward's even more unpredictable temper and although he often apologised afterwards, everyone around him began to tread warily for fear of attracting a hail of biting comments, which were all the more cutting because they were delivered in such a deliberate and icy manner. But when Edward's eyes were not flashing with anger and exasperation, there was often a weariness in his expression, which tugged at Bella's heart.

Rose and Emmett were also becoming increasingly concerned, and after several discussions between the three of them, Emmett was delegated to take Edward to the pub and ply him with alcohol, in the hope that relaxed surroundings and a friendly ear would encourage him to open up. However these outings failed miserably, because all Emmett's attempts to gently introduce the subject of Edward's personal life were met with the usual frosty reception and immediate change of subject.

While Bella's own nightmares and insomnia were almost a thing of the past, she was also aware that Edward was still having trouble sleeping. Sometimes, although the volume was turned down low, she could hear music playing in the middle of the night, which she knew meant Edward had given up all hope of getting to sleep.

At other times she was woken by noises, which even at a distance, she could identify as Edward shouting and calling out in his sleep. In a blood curdling tone of voice, he often shouted out the name 'Alice' and lately he had also been crying out Bella's name too, although whether it was in warning or in horror, Bella couldn't quite decide. She wished she had the courage to ask Edward who Alice was, but in his present mood she didn't dare attempt it.

Nevertheless, when Edward started calling out, unable to sleep herself and unable to keep away, Bella often crept over to his side of the flat and stood in the hallway outside his room, hoping that somehow he would be aware of her presence and it would soothe him. Maybe it was her imagination, but he did seem to quiet more quickly when she was near, although she was always afraid he would catch her there, and once, to her embarrassment, she stayed so long that she fell asleep on the floor by his door and had to pretend she was prone to sleepwalking when Edward found her there the next morning.

Although Edward had no inkling that he was disturbing Bella's sleep and he would have been mortified if he had known she was a regular witness to his almost daily nightmares, it was not difficult for him to work out why their frequency had increased. The dreams of Alice had become a problem again soon after he met Bella and especially after he rescued her from Mike. Part of the reason why he had become so fixated on watching Bella sleep was that it seemed to keep the nightmares at bay slightly, not only because his nightly vigils calmed and soothed him, but also because he subconsciously felt he was protecting her.

One of the consequences of moving Bella into the self-contained servants' suite was that Edward could no longer creep into her room, because given its access to the outside; Bella kept the door to her new studio and therefore to Edward's part of the flat, locked at night. Being deprived of his nightly visits, together with the ill-judged trip to Kent, which had only stirred up additional painful memories, had a serious impact on both the quantity, but also unfortunately the nature of the recurring nightmares which tormented him, and the dreams were now much worse than they had ever been before.

Although the beginning of the nightmares was still the same, at some point Edward would suddenly become aware that Bella had replaced or joined Alice in the dream, so that he now woke sweating and panting in horror, with the double guilt of having failed to keep either of them safe. Within a few weeks of moving into the penthouse, Edward was therefore at his wits end and so afraid of closing his eyes, that he was almost ready to go back into counselling. The only thing which stopped him was the memory of previous attempts, which Kate his ex-wife had forced him into and which had failed miserably.

Bella was also losing sleep, because even when Edward didn't make a lot of noise, she seemed to have a sixth sense which woke her anyway. If she had seen more of him in the daytime she would definitely have encouraged him to get help with the problem, but as it was, Edward looked so exhausted most of the time that she didn't want to annoy or embarrass him by constantly bringing the subject up, although she had mentioned his nightmares once or twice.

Thinking that perhaps if she got Edward to unwind more he would feel better, Bella put all her energy into trying to wipe the tired and distracted look off his face by making him laugh and encouraging him to relax. On the rare occasions when Edward was at home all evening, this worked so well that they would often fall asleep together on the sofa like an old married couple, waking when the television channel flipped over to the all night news and blearily making their way to bed. But despite Bella's best efforts, Edward's nightmares continued.

One night in early December, after she had been hovering outside Edward's bedroom door for nearly half an hour waiting for the noise to subside, a particularly loud and anguished cry, followed by the sound of breaking glass, finally sent Bella rushing into his room.

Edward slept with the curtains half open, but it was raining heavily outside and very little light was making its way into the room, apart from a dull glow from the lights across the river. However as Bella's eyes grew used to the semi-darkness, she could see that the bedside table nearest her had been overturned and everything on it had been pitched onto the floor. The bedside light had been the main casualty, while the light on the other side of the bed seemed to be missing its shade. Meanwhile Edward was still mumbling disjointedly to himself and restlessly twisting and turning in the bed.

Avoiding the broken lamp and doing her best not to tread on the other items on the floor, Bella made her way over to the bedside, where she stood for a moment wondering whether she should attempt to calm Edward down, for the sake of the remaining lamp if nothing else.

Another heart-rending cry a second later, prompted her to sit down on the edge of the mattress and gingerly reach out to touch Edward's hand, which was convulsively gripping the bedclothes. Seeing this was beginning to calm him a little, Bella leaned closer, so that she could move his hair out of his eyes and gently stroke it back from his forehead, which she vaguely remembered her mother doing, when she was ill or unable to sleep as a child.

After continuing the soothing motion for several minutes, Bella was rewarded by a definite reduction in the thrashing about and moaning and despite the dim light, she thought she could even see Edward smiling in his sleep. Pleased she had achieved her goal and still in maternal mode, Bella couldn't resist bending down and softly kissing his cheek, before slowly beginning to shift her weight so that she could get up and make her escape. But before she had managed to move very far, she heard Edward stir and mumble again and to her shock, she felt one of his hands make contact with her thigh.

Bella immediately froze, hoping Edward had only reached out in his sleep and that if she stayed still he would move his hand away again. Although it was too dark to see his face clearly, she thought she would be able to see if his eyes were open, so thankfully she was pretty sure she hadn't woken him up with her ill-judged kiss, which had been her immediate fear. Although she was now trembling with apprehension at being discovered in such a compromising position, Bella therefore managed to force herself to sit still.

Sure enough Edward restlessly altered his position again a few seconds later. But frustratingly, the hand which was now clamped around Bella's lower back and hip stayed where it was, and even worse, the next time Edward moved, he brought his other arm around her, effectively trapping her and pulling her closer to him, so that she ended up lying awkwardly on the bed beside him.

As far as Bella could tell, judging by the random movements of his hands and the incoherent sounds he was making, Edward was still asleep. But how much longer would it be before he woke up and how on earth was she going to explain what she was doing in his bed?

She tried her best to duck out from under his arms, but this only seemed to encourage him to hold on to her more tightly and she was worried that if she made too much of an effort to escape, she would definitely wake him up. Realising she would just have to wait a little longer for an opportunity to get away; she eventually gave up and resignedly let him move closer to her in his sleep. It was only then that she realised Edward slept entirely naked.

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 **Oops! Sorry now you'll have to wait a whole week to find out what happens xx Suki**


	20. Chapter 20

**Ok so what happens next isn't overly explicit. But if you're not an adult or you're going to be upset or disappointed, please stop reading now or skip the next 3 chapters - Suki  
**

CHAPTER 20

At first Edward thought he was still dreaming. He was aware that at some point he had been having a nightmare, but the dream he had just woken out of was one in which he had at last got Bella into his bed, only to find it was Jane who was lying beside him. Disorientated, he therefore assumed it was Jane's body his arms were wrapped around, when he adjusted his position so that he was spooning her from behind.

As he brought one hand down to fondle her ass, which felt unbelievably soft but firm to his touch, he moved to drop a lazy kiss on her shoulder and it was then he realised something was very wrong indeed.

Instead of bare skin, his lips had been met with cotton fabric and Jane never wore anything in bed with him. And while Jane had short hair, this woman definitely had long thick hair, which smelt enticingly of the same shampoo Bella used. It occurred to him that he hadn't been with Jane for months and now fully awake and with his heart pounding in shock, he swiftly sat up so that he could see his companion's face and discovered to his utter confusion that somehow Bella really was in his bed.

For a moment neither of them moved. In the dim light it was difficult for either of them to make out the other's reactions, but suddenly determined not to let the opportunity go by even if she regretted it later, Bella reached out for Edward, pulling him close enough to wrap her arms round his neck and bring his mouth within reach of her lips.

At first, for one heart shattering moment, Bella thought he wasn't going to respond and the room went still and quiet as the darkness settled in on them. But suddenly, to her surprise and delight, Edward began to return her tentative kisses with fervour and she felt one of his large hands grasp her ass, while the other began to explore under the hem of her top.

Relieved that he hadn't rejected her advances and too excited to even register what she was doing, Bella was soon moaning under Edward's mouth and pressing her body into him, with a desperation so intense that she was unable to control it. After so many months of pent up longing, to suddenly be able to feel and touch him without any restraint was intoxicating. She was so greedy for him she wanted all of him at once, just the feel of smooth skin over sculpted muscle and the smell of him, were making her dizzy and she clung onto him and kissed him back so hard that both of them were soon panting and breathless.

With a groan, Edward had thrust his tongue into her mouth and his hands were now roaming all over her body in their turn, restlessly kneading her willing flesh with a desperation which seemed to match her own, until her skin felt hot and prickly with the electricity which was tingling and dancing all over her, setting all her nerve endings on fire and making her want to scream with the frantic need to somehow get even closer to him.

She ground herself even harder against his chest until she could feel both their heartbeats thudding through her body, but still it wasn't enough and suddenly realising she had clothes on, she tore herself away long enough to pull her top off, before latching back onto his mouth as if she was afraid he would suddenly disappear. Edward was now dominating the kiss, his lips were hard and demanding as he coaxed her to open up and his hands reached up to cup and fondle her naked breasts, pinching the nipples and making her gasp as shockwaves of sensation shot through her.

Unwilling to completely let go of his hair, which she had wanted to touch so badly for so long, Bella kept one hand around the back of Edward's head and neck, so that she could continue to twine her fingers in the hair at the nape of his neck, while she explored the rock hard muscles of his upper body with the other. At one point she found she had become so distracted by the feel of his back muscles as they rippled under her fingers, that she'd stopped kissing him for a second, in order to fully savour the sensation of so much strength and power being held so rigidly in check.

Dimly aware that he had always been extremely careful to stay covered up when he was anywhere near her, to the extent that one undone shirt button at his neck, or the sight of his muscular forearms, had made her blush, Bella fleetingly regretted that there wasn't more light in the room to appreciate Edward in all his glory, but unfortunately that wish came true more quickly than she anticipated and not in the way she wanted.

Having explored everything that was within easy reach, Bella had begun to edge her hand down between their bodies, gratified to feel his body react as she teasingly ran her nails over his lower abs, before lightly skimming over the trail which led to what she wanted to get her hands on next. But to her dismay, Edward immediately reached down and gripped her wrist, effectively stopping her exploring any lower, while at the same time breaking off their kiss. Smirking at Bella's frustrated groan, Edward then leant backwards to switch on the bedside lamp, bathing both of them in unexpectedly strong light from the bare bulb which was missing its shade.

Blinking her eyes in the sudden brightness, Bella pouted up at him, realising how heavily they were both panting and wondering why Edward had put a sudden stop to her fun, when he had seemed to be enjoying himself just as much as she was. Automatically assuming that despite appearances Edward wasn't interested after all, Bella groaned again in embarrassment as well as frustration and looked round for her top, badly wanting to get off the bed and scurry back to her room as quickly as possible now.

But Edward maintained his hold on her wrist and gently pulled her back towards him. Lightly gripping her chin with his other hand and forcing her to meet his eyes, he seemed satisfied with what he saw in her expression and motioned to her to stay where she was. Still panting and rather embarrassed about the way her chest was visibly heaving in an effort to catch her breath, Bella bit her lip and looked up at him as he sat next to her on the bed, anticipating a lecture and a final humiliating rejection. But instead Edward only smiled at her dejected expression and lightly ran his hand down her hair, before shushing her gently as if she was an unruly child, when she started to apologise and explain how she had ended up in his bed.

Arranging the sheet so that it better covered him from the chest down, which left Bella feeling rather exposed in only her skimpy knickers, Edward continued to smile to himself as if he was amused at a private joke, while Bella glared at him. Despite everything she still felt a strange intensity in the room, which made her body lean towards him even as she tried to distance herself from the situation. Even more annoyingly Edward still had hold of her hand and the contact was making her whole body shiver and vibrate from head to toe, until it was impossible to sit still and she felt like screaming with frustration.

Just as she thought she couldn't bear the tension any longer, Edward spoke and what he said almost made Bella fall off the bed in shock. Appearing to have no qualms about what had just happened, Edward explained that if they were going to do this, they were going to do it properly and on his terms, which didn't include a quick fumble in the dark. Hardly able to believe she wasn't dreaming, Bella could only nod her head in agreement as she drew in a shaky breath, afraid she was about to pass out at any minute from the mixture of terror and excitement which was now flooding through her.

As Edward turned towards her and briskly questioned her about birth control, Bella realised she was literally shaking with nerves. This was such a big deal and she was so worried she'd mess everything up. She was vaguely aware of Edward's amused voice telling her to breathe, and realising she was in danger of making herself look like a total idiot, she somehow managed to pull herself together enough to take a big breath and tell him she was on the pill.

Seemingly satisfied with this information, Edward laid her back on the bed, slowly removed the rest of her clothing and coolly appraised her naked body, while Bella lifted her eyes and met his heated gaze head on. She was rewarded by a quick kiss, before Edward reached out and flicked one of her nipples, before bending down to lick and then bite it, with a pressure which was bordering on painful. Her body immediately convulsed and her eyes rolled as Bella battled to keep control of her responses, not wanting him to realise how much she already yearned for his touch, any kind of touch.

Purposely moving the lamp nearer and drawing back to fully appreciate what was laid out in front of him, Edward's gaze visibly darkened and his breathing sped up, as his eyes travelled down her naked body again. Returning his eyes to her face in order to properly gauge her reactions, Edward then turned his attention to her other nipple, biting down slightly harder this time, before making his way up her neck and back to her mouth, while at the same time gently caressing her skin and then slowly bending her knees and pushing them up and out.

Drawing back again before reaching out, he lightly caressed a teasing path from her lips all the way down to the thin strip of pubic hair which covered her sex, appreciating how her whole body responded and ignited to the smallest touch. Finally he firmly inserted an exploratory finger, while expertly circling her clit with his thumb. But he was unprepared for how quickly and thoroughly aroused she already was and drew in a sudden sharp breath at the slippery wetness he encountered.

Bella was already lost. Unable to touch him, because he seemed to be purposely holding himself just out of arm's reach while he studied her body and her reactions, Bella had no choice but to give in to the waves of pleasure which were crashing over her body. She was drowning in sensations, which were at the same time too much and not nearly enough. Every square inch of her skin was now exquisitely sensitive and goose bumps rippled across the surface as she came alive under his hands, her muscles contracting while she arched into his touch. Her body was quaking with pleasure and her breathing had become so laboured that her chest was heaving as if she'd just run a marathon, while her head restlessly turned from side to side, as she moaned and squirmed in helpless abandon.

Bella had never felt anything like this ever before and as the intensity of sensation built to an almost unbearable pitch, she wasn't sure if she wanted it to stop or to go on forever. Her body was now coiled so tightly that she could hardly breathe, but just as she thought she couldn't take any more, she finally tipped over the edge and her orgasm hit her with a force which made her scream and left her dizzy.

In her stupefied condition and lacking the strength to even open her eyes, she was dimly aware that Edward was now looming over her inert body, as he continued to scrutinise her every reaction. Almost against her will, she felt a fresh surge of desire when Edward took her hand and demonstrated how hard he was for her, before pressing one of her knees further towards her chest, lining himself up and slamming into her with one fierce stroke, which made both of them groan with pleasure.

Raising himself up on his knees, Edward pulled her lower body onto his thighs and leant forward so that he could push deeper into her. Seeming to be mesmerised as his hooded eyes roamed over her whole body again before becoming locked on where they were joined, he grabbed hold of her hips and tightly anchored her in place. Using all the force of his bulging muscles, he then swivelled his hips as he entered her in a punishing rhythm which soon had Bella screaming and shaking when a second orgasm rocketed through her, this time making her see stars and almost pass out. With a convulsive shudder followed by a muttered oath, Edward came soon after and looking rather dazed, he continued to slowly pump into her, drawing out his orgasm while her muscles clenched around him.

Finally spent, Edward collapsed on top of Bella's exhausted body and for several minutes all they could do was lie still, panting loudly in the silence, as the enormity of what they had done began to hit them.

* * *

 **More on Tuesday then back to Friday as usual xx Suki**


	21. Chapter 21

CHAPTER 21

Eventually Edward moved onto his elbows to relieve the weight of his body, which was pinning Bella to the bed, and after a few seconds of staring down at her, perhaps to check that she was all right, he began to move away. Unable to bear losing contact, Bella stopped him by wrapping her arms and legs around him and forcefully pulling him back.

Burying her face in his shoulder and holding him tightly, she breathed in the scent of his warm skin and closed her eyes, desperately wanting to luxuriate in their physical closeness for a while longer. But she eventually had to admit the moment was over and grudgingly released her grip, allowing Edward to slide onto the mattress beside her. Thinking he would now retreat, Bella rolled onto her side away from him, holding her breath in trepidation while she waited to see what he would do or say next.

To her surprise, instead of distancing himself, Edward wrapped an arm around her and pulled her towards him, until her back was resting snugly against his chest. Cradled against his body, which now felt as natural as breathing, Bella could still hardly believe her wildest dreams had just come true, She didn't quite know how it had happened and she certainly didn't believe for a second that she could possibly hang onto Edward for long, but for now Bella just wanted to lie here quietly in his arms without having to think or speak.

In fact Bella managed to relax so much that she had almost drifted off to sleep when she felt Edward stir behind her. Immediately alert, her body tensed, before melting so completely and trustingly into his touch that it scared her a little. Stupidly she had thought Edward was done with her, but over the next few hours he demonstrated how wrong she was.

This time round Bella felt less nervous and inhibited and she quickly realised how much Edward must have been taken by surprise initially, because compared to what followed, his inability to hold himself back in their first encounter indicated a very uncharacteristic loss of control. Now he began to demonstrate how much pleasure there was in drawing things out.

Bella had always thought she had enjoyed sex before, but with Edward it was so much more. He already knew her body better than anyone else had ever done and she was astounded at how skilful he was in coaxing her to fall further under his spell, until she felt she would do anything he asked to prolong the experience.

Without neglecting his own pleasure, Edward continued to watch her and adjust their positions until she gasped and moaned and her body shook with the strength of the sensations he wrung out of her. Again and again he brought them to the brink and back again, until she felt weightless and almost delirious and nothing else mattered but their two naked bodies and the almost unbearable need to connect.

At times he was gentle and slow as if he was worshipping her body and nothing else mattered but pleasing her and she smilingly slipped into a state of lazy intoxication in which she felt so utterly relaxed and at peace that she dreamily felt as if she was floating away into some sort of sexual nirvana. At other times he was rough and demanding and they were both unable to restrain the violence and the greed of their need for each other, as their bodies wrestled with the strength of their passion.

At one point they decided they were hungry and wandered hand in hand towards the kitchen, only to become distracted because Edward suddenly had an intense desire to see her draped across his office desk in the moonlight. Eventually they made it to the kitchen, where they gathered up a bottle of red wine and whatever food they could find in the fridge to take back to the bedroom. But before they could get there Bella somehow found herself on all fours in the sitting room, then thrust up against the plate glass walls, screaming like a banshee and biting hard on Edward's shoulder, as she came for what seemed like the hundredth time.

Eventually as the sky began to lighten, their weary bodies were finally satisfied and Edward took her one last time, wrapping her gently in his arms as he slowly rocked into her and whispered endearments into her ear. Afterwards they fell asleep still tangled together, and when Bella woke a little later, disturbed by the sound of a car alarm in the street below, she was pleased to see how soundly Edward was sleeping for once. With the knowledge that at least she might have helped alleviate the nightmares, Bella drifted off to sleep again with the hint of a smile still on her face.

-ooo-

Switching off his alarm, Edward rubbed his eyes and tried to force his brain to focus on the day ahead and not the events of the night or the state of his room. Apart from his almost pathologically tidy ex-wife, he had never allowed anyone to freely share his living space before and he was distracted by the jumble of misplaced items which were strewn over every surface including the floor, where the broken lamp, crumpled bedclothes, half eaten food, spilt wine and discarded clothing were vying for his attention.

Despite the overwhelming euphoria and physical sense of wellbeing he felt, Edward was extremely wary of inviting this type of chaos into his life and his immediate reaction was to regroup and reassess the situation, but like the jumbled room, he knew his thoughts and emotions were far too disorganised to attempt this at the moment and for once he felt slightly at a loss. Dragging his eyes away from the mess, he therefore made another effort to clear his mind and concentrate on the important meetings he had in his diary for the day.

After visualising the agenda for his first meeting and deciding which suit he would wear, he sat up and leant back against the headboard, yawning and automatically running a hand through his hair. Rolling his head and shoulders, he flexed and stretched, feeling the pull of muscles which hadn't been used for too long. There was no denying the sex had been extraordinarily good, which was a serious complication when, for her own protection, he had still been hoping to somehow get his worryingly powerful attraction towards Bella out of his system as quickly as he could.

A slight movement caught his attention and looking down, his mouth twitched in amusement as he watched Bella nestle more closely into his body. Christ she was so perfect for him, she looked so small and delicate caught here in the tangle of his sheets, wide eyed and so willing to do anything he asked of her, she appealed so much to the predator in him that he was practically salivating.

Leisurely moving one arm, he ran a finger along her shoulder, unable to stop himself touching the firm white flesh, which almost shimmered now, as daylight began to creep in through the windows. She stirred and smiled slightly in her sleep and the sheet slipped down to reveal one rosy nipple, as well as the shadow of a bite mark just above it. His hand moved down her breast, his fingers teasingly circling, and as he watched the soft flesh harden under his touch, it was all he could do to stop himself reaching over to kiss Bella's reddened lips and coaxing her to take him in again.

As much as he would have liked to downplay what had happened last night, it was pointless to deny that she was the best he had ever had. But this was Bella, not one of his casual partners and she looked so innocent lying there that part of him strongly regretted what he had already done to tarnish that innocence. Although he was convinced he would never have taken the first step if Bella hadn't accidentally landed up in his bed, the previous night had confirmed that somehow he was tied to her more deeply than he wanted or had even thought possible.

But even if it meant sacrificing his own happiness, there could never be any excuse for hurting her and he vowed to himself that whatever happened in the future, he would continue to make an effort to rein himself in where Bella was concerned. Even if all his other resolutions fell by the wayside, he had to resist the impulse to ruthlessly take everything she so sweetly and unknowingly offered up to him.

So Edward gently and carefully drew the sheet back over her body, absently palming himself as his eyes travelled over her sleeping form. As he'd suspected all along, she was too tempting, and the situation was going to need careful handling if it wasn't going to get totally out of control. He'd been an idiot to let this happen after all these months and what was worse he'd been kidding himself all along - it hadn't been just Bella's welfare he'd been so concerned about, it was his own.

* * *

 **Sorry Edward's still holding back - it looks like Bella might have to work on that. Starting from when she wakes up?**

 **See you on Friday - Suki**


	22. Chapter 22

**WARNING - ADULT CONTENT**

CHAPTER 22

The next time Bella woke, bright winter sun was streaming through the window and she immediately realised she was alone, although the sound of the shower indicated Edward was not far away. Luxuriating in the delicious memories of the previous night, Bella rolled onto her back and stretched her tired and aching muscles. Her body was definitely protesting at the amount of exercise it had been put through and on one level she was so physically and mentally exhausted she felt she could sleep for a week.

But small shivers of awakened desire were already fluttering in her stomach as her still oversensitive nipples brushed against the sheet, and the afterglow of so many endorphins was making her feel light headed and dislocated from reality. Turning sideways and curling into a ball, Bella closed her eyes and let all the euphoria and exhilaration wash over her, as she hugged herself with happiness. Feeling so deeply relaxed, but at the same time so alive, was a strange but addictive feeling. How was she ever going to be able to come down from this high, or get rid of the deliriously happy grin on her face?

Opening her eyes again, she noticed Edward had made an effort to tidy up the room and had left a glass of orange juice on the bedside table. Assuming it was for her, but not too bothered if it wasn't, Bella drank it all down and lay back in bed waiting for Edward to come back, feeling so much like the cat that got the cream that she almost purred with satisfaction.

By the time Edward appeared she felt sick with anticipation. Her body's memory of his touch and the way he had made her feel, together with the images which had been flashing in front of her eyes as she lay there waiting, had wound her up to such a pitch that she was already itchy with need. She was therefore horribly disappointed to see that Edward was fully dressed and judging by the way he had glanced at his watch as he came into the room, about to leave for work. Over her dead body!

Biting her lip and watching him from under lowered lids as he ran his fingers through his hair and then picked up his wallet and keys from the bedside table, Bella considered her best plan of attack.

Edward's air of cool and confidant control had reasserted itself and to all intents and purposes he looked as if he was about to leave for a normal day at the office. Bella knew that if she allowed him to get away with it, there was a possibility he would refuse to acknowledge anything out of the ordinary had happened between them and he would either revert back to the detachment he had tried to maintain for all these months, or perhaps even try to treat her as one of his short-term flings.

However if his intention had been to make a quick getaway to emphasise how unaffected he was, the way his eyes kept straying towards the outline of her body under the sheets was telling a different story. Bella knew he was caught, now if she could just reel him in…

Shifting slightly she purposely raised her arms above her head and stretched and yawned, making sure the sheet slipped down a little to expose her breasts. Smiling innocently, she then turned lazily onto her side and snuggled into the pillows, chuckling to herself as his eyes now darted between her ass, which was still covered by the sheet, and her cleavage, which was emphasised by the position she was lying in.

Fully aware of what Bella was trying to do, Edward's lips quirked as he looked down at her. But confident he could maintain his control, he ignored her pouting lips and bent down to swiftly kiss her forehead before making his exit. However Bella wasn't giving in so easily. Before he could escape she got up onto her knees on the bed and grabbed his tie, then reached up further, arching her body into him as she put both arms around his neck and pulled him into a passionate kiss.

After a second she was delighted to feel him respond and very soon afterwards his tongue made its way into her mouth. Bella was already melting with desire, freshly showered and shaved Edward smelled absolutely delicious and the feel of his rough jacket against her naked flesh was powerfully erotic.

She stretched up and pulled him closer, untucking his shirt so that her hands could make contact with his bare skin and rubbing her body up against him as all her senses began to go into overdrive. Out of the corner of her eye Bella could see their reflection in the dressing table mirror and the image of Edward fully dressed in his suit and bending over her naked body was so arousing that she almost swooned.

Sure that she had him now, with shaky fingers Bella began to undo Edward's belt and unzip his trousers, feeling him satisfyingly straining towards her. Letting go of his neck she sank down on her knees to concentrate on what she was doing, while Edward groaned at the picture she made kneeling naked in front of him, and quickly began to strip off his jacket and shirt.

Bella had made progress in the meantime and now licked her lips at the sight of what was rearing up in front of her face. Reaching out her tongue she lightly made contact with the tip, then flattened her tongue and took a broad swipe from the base upwards, before moving to take him into her mouth. Edward's whole body had shuddered at the first contact and Bella knew he was already putty in her hands.

She looked up and smirked at him then, holding eye contact while she teasingly used only her tongue again, knowing he was desperate for her mouth on him. His hands curled into fists at his sides in an effort to be patient and she teased him some more by raking her nails down his belly, making him jerk and groan. Finally taking pity on him, she firmly wrapped her hand around the base and gave him what he wanted, sucking him into her mouth and working him hard and fast, as his hands tangled in her hair and he was unable to prevent himself thrusting deeper.

Soon he was swearing and warning her he was about to come and she saw the moment his eyes widened with surprise when he realised she was going to swallow not spit. Seconds later she felt his muscles tighten and she drank down what he gave her almost greedily, feeling his pleasure almost as tangibly as her own. With a few last jerks he was finished and he let himself fall forward onto the bed next to Bella, who didn't even attempt to hide the satisfied smile on her face.

Shaking his head Edward responded with a rueful but not unappreciative grin and reached down to extricate his phone from his trouser pocket. To Bella's surprise he actually began to make arrangements to take the day off work, and wanting to leave him to finish his phone call in peace, she decided it was a good moment to go to the bathroom. Jauntily dancing across the room, she suddenly realised Edward had stopped speaking, and looking back over her shoulder Bella laughed out loud in triumph when she realised he'd been completely distracted by the sight of her naked ass as she sashayed towards the door.

After a quick wash and brush up, during which she fought to keep her nerves under control, Bella exited the bathroom to find Edward sitting up in bed, coolly appraising her as she made her way back to him. Determined not to be cowed, she straightened her shoulders and stared back at him with raised eyebrows, earning a chuckle and a raised eyebrow from him in return.

Suddenly so happy that she felt like an excited child, Bella ran the last few steps and launched herself onto the bed and into Edward's arms, planting an affectionate kiss on his lips and nestling into his chest while he stroked her hair, confident that this was where she was meant to be all along.

* * *

 **Well things seem to be going better than expected, so enough of that for now and back to the story!**

 **In the next chapter Bella finally asks Edward who Alice is.**

 **See you next week - Suki**


	23. Chapter 23

**I was off work today, got bored & decided to post another chapter, sorry about where it ends - Suki  
**

CHAPTER 23

As it was a Friday they had the whole weekend in front of them. Bella already had the day off work to go Christmas shopping, but now there were a whole lot of other things she'd much rather do, all of them involving Edward. In fact, wrapped in their bubble, they barely got out of bed for the whole weekend, or for most of the following nights and weekends. Edward seemed to have given up all resistance and in the intervals when they were too exhausted for sex, they slept, ate and talked, lying or sitting up in bed, until a glance or a touch turned into another kiss and they became lost in each other again.

Eventually Edward jokingly complained Bella was wearing him out and brought the television into the bedroom as a diversion, but five minutes into the first film they started to watch, it was Edward who was unable to keep his hands to himself and the TV went straight off again.

Edward's bed became their refuge and although he made it clear he drew the line at crumbs and was not exactly thrilled by the clutter Bella brought into his normally pristine environment, on the whole he was indulgent and more than willing to spend lazy weekends surrounded by sketchbooks, novels, newspapers and plates of half-eaten food while he worked, as long as Bella's naked body was within easy reach.

They were less inclined to leave the flat than ever when Mondays came around, but they both knew they had to be grown up about it, because neither could afford to be self-indulgent in the busy period up to the Christmas holidays and Bella certainly didn't want to let Rose down after all she'd done for her. So after showering together, they somehow found the strength of mind to drag themselves off to work, where Bella at least, spent the days with only half her attention on what she was doing.

In fact the final weeks leading up to Christmas were more or less spent in a dream as far as Bella was concerned. She felt drugged by the heavy weight of desire which Edward had awakened in her. When she wasn't in his arms she felt his absence almost as a tangible force which was pulling her back to him. He was constantly in her thoughts and she ached for his touch. At the same time she felt an almost giddy disconnect from the mundane world around her and a lightness of spirit which was due in part to the confidence he had given back to her. For the first time in her life she felt desirable and fully at ease with her body, secure in the knowledge that it was such a source of pleasure for him.

Every evening Bella rushed home with a huge smile on her face, already breathless with anticipation. While she waited for Edward to get back from work or from the gym, she tried to concentrate on cooking, or sketching, or household chores, but in reality she was only waiting for the sound of his key in the lock. Every evening she tried and failed to play it cool and not rush at him as soon as he walked in the door, but in any case he was just as likely to immediately sweep her up and into the bedroom, or pounce on her where she stood, which meant that within a week they had had sex in every room of the flat, several times.

Often the meal Bella had been preparing was completely forgotten and left to spoil and they had to resort to eating takeaways in the middle of the night. As they tucked into these midnight feasts, often still naked and pleasantly tired from their recent exertions and grinning stupidly at each other as they talked, Bella was reminded of the first few days they had spent camping out in the unfurnished flat. Perhaps it was the lateness of the hour and the sense of being cocooned in their own small patch of light in the darkness which gave an illusion of greater intimacy, but little by little Bella felt Edward was finally beginning to open up.

In addition there was no way he could hide his nightmares from her now they were sharing the same bed and although she didn't want to immediately push him, Bella was determined to eventually get him to talk about the subject, in the hope she could convince him to get some help. In the meantime, falling asleep in each others arms did tend to keep the nightmares at bay. But there were still some nights when Bella woke up to find Edward's side of the bed cold and she knew he'd given up trying to sleep and spent half the night shut in his study.

One afternoon when they were relaxing on the sofa together after a large Sunday lunch and a couple of glasses of wine, Bella finally found the courage to make a start by asking Edward who Alice was and whether she was responsible for his divorce from Kate. Immediately regretting the question when she saw the pain which flashed across his face, Bella thought Edward wasn't going to respond at all when he sat up and went to pour himself another drink. Feeling the need for some Dutch courage herself, Bella finished her own glass of wine as she waited, staring at Edward's stiff back, which betrayed how tense he had suddenly become.

Eventually returning to his seat bedside her, Edward swirled his drink around his glass, cleared his throat and told her that Alice was his sister and she had died nearly three years ago, a few months after her engagement to his friend Jasper. Having been convinced that Alice was either his mother or a former girlfriend, Bella was totally stunned by this unexpected piece of news. She was sure Edward had never mentioned a sister before and from his previous revelations about his family, she'd assumed Edward was an only child.

Taking in Bella's confused and shocked expression, Edward went on to explain that Alice was actually his stepsister, Maria's daughter, and she had been born when he was eleven years old. He also explained that far from hating her, as he had fully intended to do, he had loved Alice from the first time he saw her and as she grew up he had done his best to protect her from Maria, who was almost as cold and unfeeling towards her own daughter as she was to Edward.

Bella could imagine how much Alice must have idolised her much older brother and how she would have missed him when he was away at school and then at university and looked forward to the short periods he was able to spend with her. Given the circumstances and the lack of love and affection in Edward's life, they must have had a very deep connection and it was a tragedy that Edward had lost her when she was so young. If Edward was eleven when she was born that would have made her almost the same age as Bella and only around nineteen when she died.

At least, sad as it was, Bella had found out the cause of Edward's nightmares - he obviously had huge unresolved issues concerning his relationship with Alice and her death. Judging by the terrible pain and guilt which were now apparent in his eyes, he still blamed himself for something which he wasn't able to forgive or forget. But typically he changed the subject before Bella could ask any more questions, which told her he wouldn't, or couldn't, go into any further detail.

Feeling she had opened a can of worms, Bella thought perhaps Edward would put off telling her about his marriage and recent divorce. But now he had started, he gave the impression of wanting to get everything off his chest and the story of his marriage was unfortunately almost as sad.


	24. Chapter 24

CHAPTER 24

Taking another sip of his drink Edward explained he had known Kate for years and they had been on a few dates when he was at university, but this hadn't developed into anything serious at the time, although they had remained good friends.

However when Alice died Kate had been a godsend and for a while she had been the only person Edward could bear to have near him without lashing out. For several days he had been so full of rage he had driven everyone else who loved him away, but Kate's quiet and unwavering support had helped him find the strength to get through the funeral and the immediate aftermath of Alice's death.

In the days that followed they had also resumed their sexual relationship and Edward had convinced himself that this relationship with Kate was what he wanted long-term and it was true that Kate steadied and calmed him and he was therefore able to go on with his life, concentrate on his work again and find some sort of peace. After about six months they got married and moved into a large house in Chelsea, which Kate began renovating and redecorating, in the expectation of building a life and a family together.

On the surface they were the perfect couple, but Edward slowly began to realise he had made a huge mistake. Although he liked and even loved Kate, his feelings for her were more those of a friend or brother than a lover and as the months went on Edward began to feel trapped in a life which had more to do with Kate's aspirations than his own. Despite the efforts he made to convince himself he was not trying hard enough, or that things would eventually get better, Edward finally had to admit he was bored with their life together and he was bored with Kate. In addition he realised they had been completely sexually incompatible from the start.

As time went on it became clear to Edward that in fact Kate had very little interest in sex at all and saw it only as one of her less appealing wifely duties. Although she had initially made a convincing show of enjoying herself, Edward eventually came to realise the whole thing was rather distasteful to her. Feeling humiliated and guilty that he hadn't realised this earlier, gradually their 'lovemaking' became less and less frequent, to Kate's obvious relief. Perhaps believing this was a natural progression; Kate seemed to be oblivious of this fundamental flaw in their marriage and chose to believe that Edward was still just as happy and in love as she was.

Edward meanwhile became more and more stifled by Kate's version of domestic bliss. Although she had created a beautiful and very tasteful and comfortable home, which ran like clockwork, he found himself becoming more and more dissatisfied. Any other man would have been delighted to have such a perfect wife - she was undemanding, supportive, unfailingly positive and cheerful and always ready to put his wishes and comfort above her own, but Edward was shocked at how violently he sometimes wanted to disturb the mind-numbing sterility of their perfectly organised and regulated daily lives.

At times the impulse to rage and rant and destroy was barely controllable and knowing it was not Kate's fault, Edward could only bite back harsh words and leave the house in search of more stimulating company, which eventually included several mistresses, of whom Kate remained serenely unaware. From Kate's point of view there was no obvious conflict or cause for concern and she seemed perfectly happy with the polite formality of their relationship and the fact that they were virtually leading separate lives.

But the most telling demonstration of how far apart they had grown was Edward's sheer panic and dismay when Kate unexpectedly became pregnant. Kate on the other hand was ecstatic and immediately began to make excited plans for the future. After a great deal of soul searching, Edward finally realised that prolonging the agony and hiding his true feelings indefinitely would do neither of them any good in the long run and Kate at least deserved the opportunity to find someone who could truly give her the happiness she deserved. It was wrong for him to continue this farce any longer and it would be even worse if he kept delaying the inevitable, especially if there were going to be children involved. If he was going to do it, it was kinder to end things now.

This realisation caused Edward a great deal of pain, because he knew Kate genuinely loved him and he was going to have to break her heart. He wished he could be noble enough to sacrifice his own happiness for hers, but remembering his parents, he knew deep down that if he let the situation continue he would end up hating her as well as himself. Once his mind was made up, he resolutely saw things through to the end, feeling like a complete cad for abandoning a pregnant woman, who had done nothing but love and support him.

In the face of Kate's grief and his friends and colleagues utter consternation and disbelief, Edward resorted to shutting himself off and devoting even more time to his work. He tried to make the divorce settlement as quick and painless as possible for Kate, giving her the London house and a very generous income and agreeing to all her demands without any argument. To make things worse, although they were both assured it was nothing to do with the current situation, Kate suffered a miscarriage, which was devastating for her and made Edward feel even more of a villain. Wrung with guilt and remorse he vowed never to be the cause of such anguish again.

Edward's revelations rocked Bella to the core and certainly gave her food for thought over the next few days, as she tried to work out what this sorry tale meant in terms of her own relationship with Edward. Would she eventually become a second Kate, tossed aside when Edward decided he didn't really love her? Her biggest fear had always been that she had nothing to offer him and that he would become bored, and now this fear appeared to be all too reasonable. In addition was Edward never going to want children? Bella wasn't sure how she felt about that possibility. At the moment she would willingly sacrifice anything for him, but how would she feel in five or ten years time if their relationship lasted that long?

Eventually Bella realised worrying about the future was only stopping her properly enjoying what she had now, so she tried to push her concerns to the back of her mind. At some point a proper discussion would be needed, but Bella hoped they could now be honest and open enough with each other to talk through any problems and deal with obstacles as they arose. Hopefully if they both wanted this relationship to succeed, nothing would be insurmountable.

Bella also worried about Alice. His half-sister's death had obviously affected Edward deeply and Bella assumed there must have been some terrible accident. But if the circumstances were still too painful for him to talk about, Bella didn't feel she would achieve anything by pushing him for details. She had tried going to Rose for information, but in her straightforward way Rose had referred her back to Edward. So although it was frustrating, Bella decided she would have to wait until Edward trusted her enough to unburden himself and in the meantime she would continue to encourage him to talk and perhaps also try to change his mind about counselling if possible, which would be difficult enough on its own.

In the interests of full disclosure Bella was also acutely aware that she needed to tell Edward about her past relationship with Alex and its aftermath, but in the rush up to Christmas, although it was on her mind, a suitable opportunity never presented itself and in the end Bella decided she would wait until Christmas was over, when she'd have plenty of time to tell Edward the whole story and properly fill him in on all the gory details.

Bella was also conscious she was keeping secrets from Charlie and Sue, because she still hadn't told anyone, apart from Rose, that the nature of her relationship with Edward had changed. Although she could hardly bear to drag herself away from Edward for so long, she therefore decided to go ahead with spending Christmas Day and Boxing Day with Charlie and Sue as usual and to break the news to them then.

Despite their first full-scale argument, during which Edward tried every tactic he could, including a very underhanded attempt to make her change her mind when she was too dazed by several orgasms to know what she was saying, Bella was adamant about going on her own. For one thing she was unsure of Charlie's reaction and she might need time to talk him round, which would be easier without Edward being there. And despite Edward's protestations, she was also totally unable to picture Edward fitting into such a humble environment with ease. She wanted Edward and Charlie to get on and she didn't think two days of forced proximity, in such a relatively small space, would be condusive to achieving this aim or showing either of them at their best.

Edward had already seemed to be getting more and more short-tempered as the holiday season approached, but to Bella's relief he eventually agreed to spend Christmas Day with Emmett and Rose, provided Bella was back by the following evening. Knowing this meant he would probably spend most of Christmas Day fighting with Rose, Bella made a quick thank you phonecall to her friend - who informed her she owed her big time - before setting off for Charlie's late on Christmas Eve.


	25. Chapter 25

CHAPTER 25

Although she was looking forward to spending Christmas with Charlie and Sue, as Bella drove along the familiar stretch of motorway on the two hour journey towards her home town in Wiltshire, her thoughts kept returning to Edward.

Earlier in the day they had exchanged Christmas gifts, then spent most of the afternoon in bed together and Edward had been so sweet that several times Bella had almost cancelled her plans. As it was she had left much later than she'd intended and it had been really difficult to say goodbye.

After insisting on carrying her bags to the car, Edward had pulled her into his arms for one final lingering kiss then waited by the kerb while she got into the car, looking so stoically resigned that Bella almost didn't have the heart to turn her back on him. But just as she faltered, his phone rang and she was able to make her escape, although Edward broke off his call for a second to make her promise to drive safely.

As it turned out this promise was quite difficult to keep, because the flurries of light snow which had been falling all day but not sticking, were getting heavier and more frequent as she drove and conditions were actually becoming quite hazardous. When she arrived at Charlie's, Bella realised with a sinking feeling that the snow was really getting quite deep and as she was already missing Edward with an intensity she hadn't been prepared for, she desperately hoped she wouldn't end up getting stuck for several days.

Hiding her dismay from Charlie wasn't easy and Bella knew she'd failed when she saw the look of concern on his face as he greeted her at the door. Smiling to show it was nothing serious and making up her mind to share her news straight away, Bella turned to Sue, who swallowed her up in an affectionate hug, before leading her to a cosy seat in front of the fire.

As soon as she was settled and Sue had returned from fetching enough tea and snacks to feed an army, Bella lost no time in spilling the beans about her relationship with Edward. Sue's reaction was predictably over the top and included much hugging, squealing and kissing, followed by loud and repeated demands for more information, but it was Charlie's reaction Bella was anxiously waiting for. He surprised her by simply kissing her and wishing her well, but Bella could see from his thoughtful expression that he was turning a lot over in his mind.

While Bella attempted to answer all Sue's questions to her satisfaction, she kept a wary eye on Charlie, wondering if perhaps it would have been better to bring Edward with her after all. Now she was here his absence seemed odd, as if she was ashamed of either him or her family, or had misgivings about the relationship. She knew she would get a grilling from Charlie later, but at least Sue seemed very pleased with the news that she had a serious boyfriend and Bella tried to relax and enjoy the rest of the evening and do her best with the other main topic of interest which was her new job.

Charlie eventually caught her just as she was going to bed and drew her into the kitchen, on the pretext of handing over some premium bond certificates he had found. While he rummaged around in one of the dresser drawers, Bella closed her eyes and relaxed in the cosy atmosphere, breathing in the lingering smell of baking which Sue had been busy with for most of the day. Grabbing a mince pie from the rack where they were still cooling, Bella wondered what Edward was doing right now, preferring not to imagine him all alone in the flat and hoping he was out somewhere with Emmett.

After listening to Charlie's many reservations about her relationship with as much patience as she could muster and promising to bring Edward with her on her next visit, it appeared Charlie was finally mollified a little, so Bella gave him a kiss and a hug and made her way upstairs to bed.

Standing in the doorway of her bedroom, she felt as usual as if she was about to enter a time warp. Her old room was the one part of the house which had escaped Sue's enthusiastic remodelling, because Sue had recognised it was Bella's only remaining link to her childhood and therefore her mother and although it had been redecorated and rearranged several times since her mother died and currently represented a frozen moment in time just before Bella left for art college, in among her teenage possessions were small sentimental items and a host of memories which couldn't be stripped away.

Bella smiled as she looked around at the old posters, the painted furniture and the string of fairy lights above the bed, thinking of the day she'd left for London for the first time and remembering the almost overwhelming enthusiasm and excitement she had felt and the dreams she'd had. So much had happened in the last five years that she barely recognised the person she had been then, but for the first time she had no regrets. She no longer needed to cling to the past and she wasn't afraid of the future.

For the first time it also felt strange to be undressing and getting into bed on her own and Bella wondered again what Edward was doing. When she'd rung him earlier he'd seemed distracted and had ended the call abruptly. Assuming she'd called at the wrong time, Bella had hoped he'd ring back, but so far there had been no calls or texts from him and she'd had to bite back her disappointment. It seemed strange he was so involved with friends or work that he couldn't spare a thought for her on Christmas Eve.

After an hour spent trying to read one of her favourite novels while willing her phone to buzz, Bella gave up hoping Edward would contact her and tried to get to sleep. Clutching a spare pillow to her chest, she eventually fell into a restless sleep, blaming eating hot mince pies before bedtime for making her feel so out of sorts.

The next morning she woke up just before eight thirty, knowing that Charlie and Sue were early risers and would already be waiting for her to come down and open her presents. She shivered as the cold air hit her bare arms, suddenly becoming aware of the eerie silence outside and the bright light streaming into the room, which she immediately recognised as having the particular intensity of sunlight reflecting off snow.

When she opened the curtains it was worse than she thought. Although the sun was now rising in a cloudless blue sky, it must have been snowing for several hours during the night and everything was submerged under a thick carpet of snow, which looked several inches thick. Not at all impressed by the festive scene if it delayed her reunion with Edward, Bella craned her neck to try to see if the road was just as bad, wishing she'd paid more attention to the weather forecast before she left London.

Feeling very far away from her usual life, Bella picked up her phone hoping to see a message from Edward, but there was still nothing. She deliberated about whether it was too early to ring him or not, but in the end decided to just send a quick text wishing him a merry Christmas. If she'd still heard nothing from him in an hour or two, she'd definitely ring then. Perhaps he was still asleep, or somewhere where he couldn't get in touch at the moment. It wasn't entirely beyond the bounds of possibility that Rose had dragged him to an early church service for instance. But the silence was still puzzling and it was difficult not to dwell on it.

Making an effort to put on a cheerful face, Bella went downstairs in her dressing gown, drawn by more cooking smells and the sound of Christmas carols on the radio. After looking into the kitchen, where the smell of roasting turkey was already beginning to fill the air, Bella found Charlie and Sue cuddled up on the sofa in front of a mound of presents, which were spilling out from under the lavishly dressed Christmas tree that took up a large portion of the room.

Jumping apart and blushing like naughty schoolchildren when Bella appeared, Charlie and Sue lost no time in handing out the presents and they all set about the mammoth task of opening them. Buried among the piles of discarded wrapping paper and soothed by Sue's homely chatter, Charlie's dry humour, and the memories of previous Christmas mornings, it was impossible not to get into the Christmas spirit and Bella was finally able to relax for an hour and make the most of being home again. Once all the presents had been opened, exclaimed over and properly appreciated, Sue got up to get breakfast ready and Bella went upstairs to get dressed, leaving Charlie to watch the TV news in peace.

In no hurry to eat a large breakfast with the prospect of an even larger lunch to follow, Bella dawdled in the shower, still happily thinking about previous Christmases and appreciating just how much she owed to Charlie and Sue's quiet love and support over the years. She had therefore barely finished rinsing her hair when she realised Charlie was knocking on the bedroom door and shouting to her over the noise of the shower, to tell her Edward was on the phone downstairs.

Hastily grabbing a towel and wrapping it round herself, Bella scurried downstairs, relieved that Edward had finally made contact and anxious to hear his voice. But why was he ringing her on Charlie's landline and how had he got hold of the number? She was pretty sure she'd left in such a rush that she'd forgotten to give it to him.

Picking the phone up, she began to speak, but stopped when she realised how angry Edward sounded. For some reason he seemed to be absolutely furious with her and she almost burst into tears when he immediately began to berate her for not answering her mobile, without letting her get a word in edgeways to explain that she'd been in the shower. With no further attempt at conversation, he then brusquely announced he was coming to get her and disconnected the call.

Totally shocked, with her mouth open mid-sentence, and still clutching the phone, Bella looked enquiringly at Charlie hoping that, as he'd answered the phone in the first place, he would have an explanation for Edward's behaviour, but it was obvious he was just as much in the dark as she was. Still totally bemused, Bella made her way back upstairs and picked her phone up to find several missed calls from Edward, including one which had gone to voicemail but only recorded an exasperated harrumphing sound, and a text ordering her to ring back straight away.

While she quickly got dressed Bella tried ringing Edward again, but her calls all went to voicemail, so she had no choice but to be patient and wait for him to appear. Knowing it would take hours for him to drive all the way from London, especially given the weather conditions, the rest of Christmas Day would now be ruined, because she was going to spend most of it anxiously waiting for Edward to arrive. What an earth had made him so angry and was so important that he had to travel all this way in the snow?


	26. Chapter 26

CHAPTER 26

As Bella helped Sue prepare the Christmas lunch, her mind kept wandering and she was unable to stop various nightmare scenes running through her head - Emmett, Rose or Jasper was terribly injured or dead, something catastrophic had happened to Edward's business, the flat had burned down, or Alex was on the rampage (Charlie gave a very definite no to that one) - unfortunately the possibilities were endless as far as her imagination was concerned.

Knowing she was being ridiculous, Bella tried to concentrate on other things, but as peeling carrots and sprouts wasn't exactly the most exciting task in the world, or capable of holding all her attention, even more preposterous scenarios kept popping into her head as she worked. After half an hour of panicking Bella began to worry less and feel more annoyed. If Edward had ruined Christmas just because he couldn't put up with Rose's company any longer, she was going to be extremely cross with him.

But Bella's thoughts were stopped in their tracks when the doorbell rang. Charlie had gone to open the door immediately, but the unknown visitor was so impatient that he was not only holding the bell down in one continuous shrill peal, but also loudly hammering on the front door before Charlie had even got into the hall. Assuming there was a police emergency somewhere which needed his attention, Bella heard Charlie open the door and begin to speak, but he was evidently cut short and before Bella even had time to worry about who had got into the house, Edward suddenly materialised in front of her.

Without stopping he strode across the room and crushed Bella into his arms, knocking all the breath out of her body. Totally bewildered at his sudden appearance hours ahead of schedule, Bella was happy to just hug him back at first, but she gradually became aware that his whole body was violently shaking and he seemed unable to let her go. Bella's heart thumped as it began to dawn on her that something serious really had happened and when Edward finally released her and stepped back a little, her worst fears were realised when she saw his clothes were covered in blood.

Unable to see any cuts or bruises on his face or hands, at first Bella managed to convince herself it was someone else's blood, but when Edward raised his arm to mechanically brush back his hair, she gasped in horror when his coat slid open to reveal a large area across the left side of his body where blood had soaked into his clothes. Feeling as if she was about to faint, Bella reached for the chair behind her and almost collapsed into it, before grabbing Edward's arm and begging him to tell her he was ok and explain what was going on.

Dragging a chair over to Bella's side and more than aware that Charlie and Sue were hovering in the doorway, Edward assured Bella he was fine and that the blood was from an injury which had already been properly dealt with. To prove it he pulled up his thick sweater to reveal a large bandage, which was wound tightly around his torso. However the next words which came out of his mouth caused Bella to freeze in absolute disbelief, as Edward explained he had been hunting Mike for months, ever since his attempt to abduct her.

Remembering how Edward had downplayed the whole incident and encouraged her belief that Mike's actions had been totally out of character and due to a one off over-indulgence in drink or drugs, Bella was absolutely aghast that this had been going on without her knowledge for so long. Looking back, she now had an explanation for most of Edward's puzzling behaviour over the last few months, as well as the sudden 'business trips' and she was fuming.

As the whole story came out, Bella couldn't believe that Edward had kept all this a secret from her, and caused her so much unnecessary heartache and self-doubt over his behaviour in the process. She already knew he could be extremely overprotective, but she wasn't a child and she didn't appreciate being kept in the dark about something which affected her so directly and which she should have been given the opportunity to make her own decisions about.

Despite her fear of attracting the attention of the press again (which Edward of course knew nothing about) when he had realised how series the situation was, surely the proper course of action should have been to report the whole thing to the police and let them deal with it. Instead, noting how distressed and uncomfortable Bella had been when the two policewomen appeared on the scene and to avoid the publicity and uncertain outcome of a possible trial, Edward had decided to let his own security team handle the situation, with the aim of making sure Mike got the appropriate psychiatric treatment, even if it meant paying for it himself.

Bella understood why Edward had taken the actions he had and also that his high-handed approach was an ingrained part of his character, but nevertheless, shielding her so completely from what he considered unnecessary worry and stress was not part of Bella's idea of a relationship and he was going to have to learn to share in future, if this was an indication of how secretive he could be.

Only now that Mike had been caught did Edward admit that Bella had been in serious danger the whole time and that he and Jenks, his head of security, had been desperately scouring the country in an effort to find Mike before he attacked someone again.

But even with Jenks' contacts, Mike had been difficult to locate. Due to his disturbed mental state his actions were unpredictable and erratic and whether purposely or not, he had been avoiding the people and places he knew and sleeping rough. Although there had been occasional sightings, it had been all too easy for Mike to sink out of view and Edward and Jenks had several times been in the frustrating position of following up a lead, only to find they had missed him by days or even hours.

Edward had contacted Mike's family early on, but although they were equally concerned about his behaviour and had begged Edward to find him, Mike had not been in touch with them either. Another of Edward's trips had been to Manchester, where Mike had gone to university, but as usual, although Mike had been seen in the city a few days earlier, he had already disappeared before Edward arrived.

Finally Mike's mother had contacted Edward to let him know she'd had a garbled telephone message from Mike, which seemed to indicate he was coming home for Christmas. This happened to be the call Edward had received just as Bella was leaving for Charlie's, and soon after her departure, Edward and Jenks had left for Mike's family home in Swindon. When they arrived there had been a tense wait for further news, but eventually he had made another call, at 1am on Christmas morning, from a homeless hostel in the centre of the town.

To Edward's dismay Mike had changed his mind about visiting his family, but as he had given away his location, Edward and Jenks were now hopeful that they would be able to intercept him before he got away again. Although the hostel staff had been sympathetic to Mike's mother and father's request to see their son, they had had to wait until 9am for access and as soon as Mike knew they were there, he had gone berserk and threatened two of the staff with a knife, which he had somehow managed to conceal despite the hostel's normal precautions, before rushing out into the street.

When Mike saw Edward waiting outside he'd immediately lunged for him and only the heavy weatherproofed jacket Edward had been wearing at the time had saved him from being seriously injured, before Jenks and the hostel staff managed to disarm Mike and restrain him. As it was the knife was deflected to the side, but the flesh wound Edward received, although thankfully not deep enough to cause any serious damage, was fairly extensive and needed attention from a paramedic, once two police cars and an ambulance arrived with sirens blaring.

While his wound was being examined and cleaned, Edward briefly explained to the police what had happened, while Mike sullenly glared at him from the secure hold Jenks still had on him. Although Mike had been fairly subdued once Jenks had wrested him away from Edward and had responded to initial questioning from the police, with no warning he suddenly become agitated again and to Edward's complete horror, in among the jumbled threats and curses which ensued, he now seemed to be implying that he knew where Bella was and that dire things were about to happen at Charlie's house, where Edward was all too aware Bella was currently relatively unprotected and unaware of any danger.

It was this overwhelming fear and then relief, which had prompted Edward's earlier phone calls, his response to not being able to get hold of Bella immediately and his first reaction to finding Bella alive and well. Although logically he had known that Mike's deluded ramblings posed no real threat, Edward had been unable to rest until he could see that Bella was safe with his own eyes and as he tried to explain what he had been feeling, an unaccustomed rush of tenderness lit up his eyes and face and he gently kissed the hand he was holding, making Bella blush.

Glad, but slightly unnerved by Edward's unusual show of affection, and temporarily forgetting the behaviour which had led up to it, Bella smiled and hugged him again, drawing back quickly when she felt him wince. Meanwhile Sue had started fussing over Edward and was soon in the middle of making tea and asking him what she could get him to eat, sure he must have missed breakfast in all the excitement.

After he had tried his best to eat what Sue put in front of him and answered all the questions which were thrown at him, especially by Charlie, Edward went out to his car to discretely contact Jenks, who had stayed behind in Swindon to liaise with the police, and to fetch his overnight bag so that he could change his clothes. Once he was back inside, he allowed Bella to persuade him to have a much needed rest before lunch and followed her upstairs to her bedroom.

Looking at Edward's exhausted face as he lay asleep on her bed, Bella realised the stress of the last few months had taken a huge toll on him and although she was grateful for the concern for her safety which had prompted all his actions, she was even more certain that unless she could convince him to be more open with her, any long term relationship was going to be very difficult.

By the time lunch was ready, Edward looked much more his usual self, and with Sue already completely under his spell, as the meal progressed and everyone began to relax over a glass of wine or two, to Bella's relief and amusement Charlie proved to be no match for Edward's charm either. She could only look on in admiration, as an initially resistant Charlie gradually succumbed to the point where he was opening a prized bottle of Scotch and dragging Edward away from the table to watch the sports channel, leaving Bella to cope with Sue, who was already imagining wedding bells and babies.

As it turned out Charlie and Sue had quite a while to get used to Edward, because Bella and Edward both needed to give statements to the police and before they went back to London Edward wanted to make sure Mike was definitely being sectioned. It therefore suited them to stay in the area, especially while the snowy weather continued and although they still had a half hour drive to Swindon and they could have moved to a hotel in the town, Bella rather enjoyed having Edward on her home ground and to her surprise she realised Charlie and Sue also genuinely enjoyed his company.

They therefore ended up staying for another three days and what with the home cooked food, the relaxing atmosphere and the feeling that she had Edward all to herself for once, Bella felt almost sorry when they were free to go home.

But as they said goodbye to Charlie and Sue, Bella certainly had a lot to think about as far as Edward's recent behaviour was concerned and while she absentmindedly bit her lip and stared at his face as he checked her seat belt and worried about the state of the roads, Bella wished she had a crystal ball which could tell her what was coming next, because somehow she wasn't entirely convinced that Edward had revealed all his secrets and it continued to bother her that he had still told her very little about Alice.


	27. Chapter 27

CHAPTER 27

While she tried to get back into their normal routine, which a surprisingly carefree Edward seemed to be much more successful at than she was, Bella wished there was a way to find out about Alice without involving Edward, because not knowing how Alice died was driving her mad with curiosity.

Edward didn't seem to keep any personal mementos of any sort and there weren't even any photos anywhere in the flat, or on his laptop, so in the end Bella guiltily resorted to an internet search. But strangely, considering how much information there was about Edward, this also brought up a complete blank and in the end Bella had no choice but to stick to her original decision to be patient and let Edward tell her more in his own time.

She was also uneasy that she still hadn't told Edward about Alex. The evening before they'd returned to London, Charlie had taken her aside and warned her that if her relationship with Edward was serious, she couldn't continue to keep such an important part of her life secret from him, especially as Alex was an ongoing threat to her safety. But although Bella agreed this was sound advice, only she knew how much effort Edward had put into tracking down Mike. How could she now tell him she was possibly in even greater danger from someone else?

Already having visions of Edward tearing off to Russia, Bella just didn't have the heart to immediately disrupt things again. Now that Edward was able to devote more of his attention to just being with her, rather than worrying about Mike, their relationship was going from strength to strength and. Bella wanted to be able to enjoy the rest of the Christmas holidays together in peace, especially as she would be really busy with the final preparations for the magazine re-launch as soon as she went back to work.

She also had the stress of accompanying Edward to a New Year's Eve party to get through and unfortunately it wasn't just a party, it was the type of thing Bella had more than had enough of when she was with Alex – a big charity auction, which Edward attended every year, and which there was no escaping.

Bella knew that as Edward's new girlfriend she was likely to be judged and knowing Jane would be there made her even more reluctant. She was also apprehensive because she knew Edward wouldn't be able to stay by her side the whole time and she was afraid she would be entirely out of her depth without his support. However Rose and Emmett had also been invited and she clung to the thought that she could at least depend on Rose to rescue her if she needed it.

Rose had already been really supportive in helping her find the right dress to wear. They'd spent a whole afternoon searching for something which was suitably stunning, but which Bella would also feel comfortable in, and finally they'd found a beautiful form-fitting midnight blue strapless gown, overlaid with a black lace design, which had Rose whistling as Bella stepped out of the fitting room. Worn with matching heels and sapphire jewellery, Rose confirmed Bella looked absolutely stunning and with the proper hairstyle and make up, she assured her she would be the belle of the ball.

Knowing she had this secret weapon in her wardrobe meant that Bella was at least resigned to having to attend and as it turned out she initially managed to enjoy herself much more than she'd anticipated. For one thing the effect on Edward when he'd first seen her all dressed up had been gratifying. As she'd made her grand entrance into the sitting room where he was waiting for her, his expression had gone from shock, to delight, followed by a hoarse admission that he'd be counting the minutes until he could get her alone. After the way he continued to look at her in the car and the mouth watering sight he made in his dinner suit, Bella was still dreamily fantasising about deserted alcoves and broom cupboards as they drew up outside the hotel which was hosting the event.

Once they got inside Bella steeled herself for a barrage of veiled criticism as Edward began to lead her around the large function room, introducing her to the guests who came over to greet them and who formed a large group around him, slowing down their progress. At first Bella was overwhelmed, not only by this sea of new faces, but by the splendour of the huge room, which glittered with chandeliers and sumptuously ornate gilt decoration wherever her eyes landed. The cluster of dining tables laid out in front of a small stage, had also been decorated in a gold and cream theme, obviously by a leading events company and with no expense spared, and realising this was way out of even Alex's league, Bella began to feel even more insignificant.

But most of the guests were much older than the society acquaintances she had made in her old life and Bella was pleasantly surprised to find she was in fact made a fuss of by the women and looked on indulgently by the men, who were also surprised but pleased to find she was not just a pretty face and had her own opinions. Edward meanwhile beamed with pride and with his hand possessively glued to the small of her back, continued to hover by her side, even when Bella knew he should be busy charming the main donors and preparing for his speech.

Finally handing her over to Emmett and Rose, who were already seated at one of the tables, Edward left her to do his duty, heading for the side room where the charity auction lots were on display, but promising to be back in time for the meal which was due to be served shortly. Between Emmett, who was in good form and soon had her in stitches, and Rose, who after complimenting her on how beautiful she looked, began to fill her in on some of the gossip about the people she had just met, Bella was halfway through her meal before she realised Edward had not returned.

Anxiously looking round the room, she finally spotted him in the doorway, where he appeared to be in the middle of a heated discussion with Jane, but seconds later he disappeared again, leaving Jane to make her way back to her table at the other end of the room. Now that she knew about their break up, Bella was confident that Edward had no further interest in Jane, but bearing in mind he had not entirely been able to escape from her clutches, Bella hoped she was not trying to stir up trouble.

Shaking off her slight feeling of foreboding, Bella made a conscious effort to ignore Jane's presence and concentrated on enjoying the delicious food and her friends' company instead. She was sure there must be a good reason for Edward's continued absence and she certainly wasn't going to be so clingy or possessive as to worry about previous girlfriends. However Rose and Emmett were also wondering where Edward had got to and it wasn't until the last course was cleared away and coffee was served, that they saw him again – on the stage.

Looking more elegant and self-confident than anyone had a right to be, Edward soon had the audience eating out of his hand and laughing in all the right places, as he made a short but effective speech outlining why they were all there, before introducing the president of the charitable foundation which was benefiting from the occasion. As he handed over to his co-speaker and moved to the side of the stage, Bella saw him scanning the audience and she hoped he was looking for her. Smiling, she met his eyes in anticipation of sharing his pleasure at how well the evening was going, but to her dismay the look he gave her was far from delighted and her heart sank as she realised that underneath his impassive exterior he was simmering with rage.

Any enjoyment Bella had in the proceedings immediately evaporated. She could only sit out the auction, which seemed to be going on for hours, watching Edward play the genial and generous host, while she wondered what an earth had happened. She knew it would not be noticeable to anyone else, but she could tell from Edward's body language that underneath the apparent good humour, he was still struggling to contain his anger. And what was worse, after that first thunderous glare he hadn't looked in her direction once.

Impatiently waiting for the auction to finish, Bella rushed to Edward's side, but she realised as soon as she looked at him that although he was still angry, he was going to deny there was a problem and refuse to confide in her or let her help in any way. As he sat stiffly beside her in the car on the way home, for a fleeting second Bella desperately wished she'd got involved with someone who was a lot more open and amenable and who carried a lot less baggage. Unable to make any headway with him at all, she finally gave up any attempt at conversation and was reduced to staring silently out of the window.

* * *

 **Sorry Edward's got another bee in his bonnet, but I promise not to drag this bit on for too long & I'll be posting on Tue & Fri next week.**

 **xx Suki**

 **PS for future ref if needed, I'm also posting this story on TWCS**


	28. Chapter 28

CHAPTER 28

When they arrived home, far from the passionate sex she had been anticipating earlier in the evening, Bella found herself glumly undressing and getting ready for bed on her own, while Edward, still denying there was anything wrong and refusing to talk, disappeared into his study. Apparently he stayed there all night, because when Bella woke up, his side of the bed was undisturbed and he had already gone to work.

Despite Bella's best efforts to be patient and let Edward open up, or resolve whatever issue he had in his own time, over the next days and weeks she sometimes came close to despair. All the joy seemed to have been sucked out of their relationship and although Edward insisted everything was fine and for most of the time Bella couldn't even justify why she felt anything was out of kilter, sometimes she would catch him looking at her with a questioning, or even hostile, look in his eyes and her blood ran cold.

As time went on Edward became moody, withdrawn and sarcastic and she suspected he was drinking too much again, although thankfully he was too fastidious to let his drinking get completely out of hand and he never let it affect his work. At times the stranger who had made an appearance in Kent re-emerged, but at other times for several days the Edward she knew would reappear and give Bella hope that if she could only reach him somehow, things would be all right again. But sadly it often felt as if she was re-living her life with Alex and she was scared she would wake up one day to find she had been clutching at shadows and had never really known him at all.

With a heavy heart Bella tried to keep her spirits up by concentrating on her painting and her work. But unfortunately her painting seemed to lose all its freshness as her mood began to plummet and she ended up with a whole series of depressingly grey and miserable landscapes, which did no more than echo the chilly winter weather and her own anxiety.

However keeping herself busy at work was much more successful in cheering her up and allowing her to forget about Edward for a while, especially as it drew nearer to the magazine re-launch and a host of last minute problems needed her urgent attention before the first issue went to print. To her surprise her co-workers really seemed to value and respect her judgement and she already felt she could justify her place at the head of the small team working on the project under Rose's editorship.

Bella's friendship with Rose had also grown and deepened over the months and after late nights spent working, or occasionally sharing a well deserved girls night out, Bella often ended up accompanying Rose home and staying to eat or to chat, and just as she had suspected from their first meeting, Bella soon discovered that underneath the businesslike and unsentimental exterior, Rose was warm and funny and a fiercely loyal and supportive friend.

As Bella had hoped, gradually Rose filled much of the gap Tanya had left behind and Bella knew she would be eternally grateful for Rose and Emmett's friendship and hospitality at a time when Edward seemed to be drawing further and further away from her. Although they never discussed her relationship with Edward directly, there was always a spare room ready for her on the nights when it all got too much and she couldn't face dragging herself away from the warm and cosy atmosphere to go back to the bleak and lonely flat and Edward's unpredictable moods.

As she dug in for what she realised could be a long haul, virtually the only thing which kept Bella's hopes alive was that, unlike Alex, Edward's physical passion for her seemed to be undiminished. In fact if anything Edward seemed to want her sexually even more than he had before. Now that she was confident in her own body and the effect she had on him, Bella therefore had no compunction in using sex to try to undermine his defences and to bind him to her more tightly, even if it sometimes seemed it was against his will.

Sometimes his initial attentions were perfunctory and often he was harsh and rough as if he was trying to punish her, or persuade himself he felt nothing for her. But Edward couldn't hide the fact that he reacted to her every touch and Bella gloried in the power she still had over him.

But unfortunately they couldn't just have sex and Edward continued to veer from acting as if everything was fine to outright hostility which he still refused to explain. Feeling abandoned and alone, even when he was asleep in bed next to her, Bella went over and over in her mind trying to think what she had done that day to make him so angry. As she lay awake for hours, all her insecurities came rushing back. Had she innocently said or done something which was totally socially unacceptable? Had Edward decided that after all she wasn't good enough for him? Was he disappointed in her family? Had he just lost interest now that the excitement of tracking down Mike was over?

The questions were endless, and there was also the argument she'd seen him having with Jane. Perhaps that was something to do with it? But Jane didn't even know her and surely there was nothing Jane could have seen her do which was so bad. In the middle of the night Bella often wondered if she should pay Jane a visit and ask her if she had any idea what was wrong with Edward. But in the cold light of day Bella knew she'd die first rather than admit to Jane that their relationship was anything but perfect.

However eventually Bella got a clue about what was going on one weekend in the middle of February, when out of the blue Edward accused her of using one of his credit cards to buy jewellery and clothes. He also informed her that as he'd searched the flat and there was no evidence of any of the purchases, she must have passed them on or sold them already. Totally bewildered at the accusation, Bella nevertheless realised that Edward's expression was so triumphant, that this must have been what he was expecting all along.

The whole thing was so ridiculous that Bella could only laugh, and realising she was not about to break down and confess everything, Edward turned around and marched back towards his office, while Bella called after him that it might be a good idea to check the facts more thoroughly before throwing such wild accusations around.

Ten minutes later Edward returned to apologise, having established that the bill was an extremely delayed one, dating back to at least six months ago, when he'd gone to help Emmett choose an anniversary present and ended up paying because Emmett had left his wallet behind.

As Edward was now looking extremely shame-faced over his mistake, Bella realised this might finally be the moment to get some information out of him and although her voice was shaky, she managed to remain calm enough to ask him why he thought so badly of her that he was accusing her of stealing from him.

After mechanically running his hand through his hair and staring at her face for several seconds, with eyes which were suddenly blank and tired looking, Edward started to walk back towards his office, and hoping she would finally get some answers, Bella quickly followed him.

Bella rarely went into Edward's office because she felt he needed his own space, just as she had her studio and although he spent a lot of time working here and everything was unfussy and scrupulously tidy as Edward preferred, it always surprised Bella how welcoming the room was. Besides the imposing desk and bank of filing cabinets, several comfortable armchairs were dotted around, as well as a large and well-worn leather chesterfield which looked particularly inviting.

The room also housed Edward's state of the art music system and a couple of times when Emmett had come over, Bella had been amused to hear the sound of video games being played on the large wall-mounted screen which Edward normally used for video conferencing. All the remaining walls were covered with glass fronted bookshelves which contained a surprisingly eclectic range of reading material and stretched from floor to ceiling. However because the room, like all the others in the flat, was so spacious and light, there was no sense of being boxed in and Bella's gaze was immediately drawn to the view from the large windows, and the brightly coloured pots of evergreen plants which lined the balcony outside.

But she wasn't there to admire the scenery, so after taking a couple of deep breaths in an effort to keep calm, she turned back to Edward, who was standing next to the desk, holding a large manila envelope which he must have taken out of one of the drawers. Crossing the room and motioning for Bella to follow him, Edward stopped in front of the chair nearest to the window, waited for Bella to sit down in it and handed her the envelope.


	29. Chapter 29

CHAPTER 29

Bella knew that Edward had seated her right in front of the window so that he could scrutinise her reactions when she saw the contents of the envelope, but he was not expecting the reaction he got. As Bella's eyes widened at the sight of the newspaper clippings in her hands she began to gag and a second later she had run out of the door, leaving Edward listening to the distant sound of retching in the bathroom down the hall.

Five minutes later Bella came back into the room, looking pale but determined, and found Edward still standing where she had left him, grimly staring at the cuttings which were now scattered all over the floor. Bella picked a couple up, realising now why her friends and family had protected her from the worst stories when the media feeding frenzy had been at its height after Alex disappeared. She could feel her face turning red as she scanned the headlines in front of her. How could these so-called journalists have got away with inventing and publishing such slanderous accusations about her?

After picking up a few more random cuttings, which someone had obviously printed off the internet, Bella realised there was a theme running through them. Whoever had supplied this information had been careful to select the most scandalous stories from the trashiest newspapers and they all appeared to date from before she had been cleared of any involvement in Alex's crimes.

She understood why at first no one had believed that she knew nothing about what Alex had been up to. Even to her it seemed far fetched that she had been so gullible and stupid that she had no suspicions at all. It was therefore widely assumed she had known what Alex was doing all along and had helped him commit fraud and worse, while her father somehow made sure she avoided prosecution afterwards. Some of the stories even implied she was a well known con-artist in her own right.

The police had initially been just as sceptical and Bella thought back to the weeks of questioning she had to endure, before they were satisfied she had absolutely no useful information she could give them. Alex had made sure everything was kept completely out of Bella's sight; there had been no incriminating evidence found in the house and she had barely been able to identify any names or dates relating to any of the people who had come to see him there. Alex must have been laughing behind her back the whole time, in the confident belief that she was a total idiot.

Bella knew that eventually all the newspapers had been forced to publish retractions when it was proved that she (and Charlie) were completely innocent of any wrongdoing. At the time she had felt intensely humiliated that her stupidity and naivety had been publicised so widely, but now that she could see the extent of the allegations the papers had been spreading, she understood why it had been necessary and why the worst of the stories had been kept away from her at the time.

Looking at the pictures in front of her and remembering how the press had been waiting everywhere she went, Bella realised now how close she had come to a complete breakdown. She had been so young and so terrified that no one would believe she was innocent and that she would end up with a long prison sentence and in these photos the strain was apparent on her face. Shaking her head in disgust that someone had been so intent on dragging all this up and realising it was probably Jane, Bella looked around for Edward, itching to give him a piece of her mind.

She knew she should have told him about Alex, but did he really have so little faith in her? She also realised that her obvious wariness of the police after Mike's attack would have seemed suspicious in hindsight. But how could Edward have kept all this to himself for so long and believed for a second that any of this rubbish was true? Glaring at him she brandished a handful of the offending articles in his face, before stooping down, collecting them all up and stuffing them back in the envelope.

Grabbing Edward's arm, Bella dragged him into the kitchen and made him sit down at the table, while she busied herself with making a cup of tea - Charlie and Sue's antidote to all disasters - and tried to calm her agitated breathing enough to think about what she was going to say. She was well aware that this might be her only opportunity to explain her whole relationship with Alex and unless she could get her mounting panic under control, she wouldn't stand a chance of salvaging the situation.

Once they both had mugs of tea in front of them Bella felt slightly more confident of being able to keep her emotions in check and after sitting down next to Edward, she managed to make a creditable attempt at relating the story from start to finish. At first she avoided looking at him because she was afraid he would refuse to believe the truth, but after risking a quick glance at his face, her fears began to subside a little when she saw he was listening intently to what she was saying and taking it all in.

She explained in detail how everything had happened, why she had changed her appearance and her name and most of all why she had felt unable to tell him anything earlier. This was not because she was a criminal and a liar, but because she had been trying so hard to escape from her past, including the fact that her life might well be in danger if Alex suspected her of being the person who had betrayed him at the end. She had also been trying not to drag Edward into the mess which was her former life.

When Bella haltingly got to the end of her story, she looked down at the table, too scared to look at Edward again, in case after all he'd come to the conclusion she was lying. She so desperately wanted him to believe her, but she understood that Jane had cleverly traded on the fear which his father had drummed into him - that women were inherently untrustworthy and only interested in taking advantage of him.

Although Edward had treated her so badly for weeks, Bella knew he had also been suffering. She could see now, that despite the part of him that wanted to believe all the things he read about her were true (and he'd probably found a lot more on the internet), there was another less cynical part of him which had been clinging desperately to what was left of their relationship and hanging on to the belief that she would voluntarily explain, or at least admit to, her past life. Bella also realised that much of the anger he had been unable to conceal had been directed not at her but at himself, for not only allowing himself to be fooled by her, but for still not being able to let her go.

The atmosphere in the room was now eerily quiet. Bella didn't know how much time had passed, but the sun was beginning to go down and she didn't want to be sitting here like this in the dark. She shifted in her seat slightly, meaning to get up and switch on the light, but as she did so Edward unexpectedly reached out and put one of his hands over her two hands, which were clasped tightly together on the table in front of her. Gasping with shock at the sudden contact and also at how cold both their hands were, Bella raised her head and tried to assess what Edward's reaction was.

But Edward was too good at hiding his emotions and she really had no idea what he was thinking. Finally he turned towards her, but only to suggest that they should go and get something to eat at the pub round the corner.

* * *

 **Well done you all guessed right. That was too easy. I hope Edward is going to make it up to Bella now. Oh & it's nearly time for Bella to find out about Alice. xx Suki**


	30. Chapter 30

**WARNING - ADULT CONTENT**

CHAPTER 30

The pub was more of a small bistro and as it was early on a cold Sunday evening, it was nearly empty. On the walk there they had remained silent, but Bella was hoping the fact that Edward was still holding her hand was a good sign. If nothing else it had maintained a connection between them and although she knew it might be difficult, she was determined to do her bit to put things right between them and to answer any further questions Edward might have as fully and as truthfully as possible.

After scanning the menu they put their orders in at the bar and sat down at a small table in the furthest corner. Thankfully there was no waitress service this early in the evening, because neither of them wanted anyone hovering around them and Edward was prone to attracting more than his fair share of female attention, not to mention telephone numbers, wherever he went.

The first question Edward asked Bella was how exactly she had met Alex and how soon he had asked her to marry him. Bella told him again how she had applied for a part-time job in Alex's swish East End gallery and that their relationship had properly begun on the opening night of the exhibition of her work a few months later. Alex had proposed two or three weeks afterwards and in total they'd known each other for less than a year before he disappeared.

Bella immediately felt she had to justify this high-speed romance and she tried to explain how Alex had bowled her off her feet. Initially she'd been surprised, because she hadn't thought he was attracted to her at all, but suddenly he'd begun flirting with her and the next thing she knew he was claiming he couldn't live without her. It was difficult for her to describe to Edward just how much of a whirlwind she had been caught up in and how the dizzy combination of being young and successful and in love for the first time, had swept her along.

She realised almost immediately afterwards just how stupid she'd been, in fact, looking back, she suspected Alex was probably gay. He'd explained his initial lack of interest as not wanting to take advantage of her youth (at which point Edward visibly flinched), but Bella still had no idea why he'd gone so far in the charade. Perhaps it amused him to have a tame artist in tow, or their relationship was intended to bolster his cover, or perhaps she was a pawn in a longer-term plan. Whatever the reason, it was unlikely Bella would ever know the truth now that Alex had vanished so completely.

The rest of Edward's questions were all about the evidence against Alex and, as Bella had feared, he seemed especially interested in the efforts which were being made to locate him. Bella told Edward that although Charlie had given her all the information he could, she didn't think even he had been allowed to see all the files, but she was sure he'd be glad to share anything he knew.

Given the current shaky state of their relationship, Bella was less afraid than before that Edward would immediately chase off after Alex as he had with Mike. But looking at his face and the extra effort he was making to conceal his reactions from her, Bella knew he'd certainly be on the phone to Charlie at the first opportunity.

She could only hope Edward didn't have too many business contacts in Russia, which given the type of commodities trading she knew his company was involved in, unfortunately seemed rather unlikely. However she hoped that after talking to Charlie, he would realise there was no more that could be done.

Feeling a lot lighter now that everything was out in the open, even a lecture about keeping secrets from him and a suggestion from Edward that perhaps he should employ a full time security guard to protect her, couldn't dampen Bella's spirits. The knowledge that he had believed every word she had said, made her feel so hopeful that they could salvage their relationship, that she had no qualms about solemnly promising she would always confide in him in future.

When they left the pub, it was dark and cold outside, but Bella hardly noticed. She was so full of happiness and relief that all the way home she felt as if she was walking on air and the glare of streetlights and shop fronts couldn't compete with the sparkle in her eyes and the wide smile which lit up her whole face and refused to disappear.

As soon as they were back inside the flat Bella flung her arms around Edward's neck and kissed him, urgently needing an outlet for all the feelings bubbling up inside her. Edward had been quiet and contemplative on the walk back to the flat, but now he returned her kisses with fervour, jamming her up against the closed front door before she'd even had time to take off her coat. Enjoying the feel of his stubble as he took her earlobe in his teeth and then kissed all the way down her neck, Bella was already panting and squirming against him when Edward reached for the top button of her jeans.

Deftly undoing the rest of the buttons while Bella toed off her shoes, he bent to yank her jeans and underwear down her legs and threw them behind him, barely able to restrain himself from ripping them in his haste. Pulling her legs apart with firm hands, he reached down to test whether she was ready and smiled in satisfaction.

Still keeping Bella pinned in place against the wall, he continued to kiss and caress her as he started to unbutton his own jeans with one hand, laughing out loud in amusement when she slapped his hands out of the way and took over the task, after deciding he was being much too slow. Struggling to exert sufficient force, she pushed his jeans and boxers down just enough to release his straining cock, then grasped him tightly and ran her thumb over the tip, making Edward inhale sharply and catch his bottom lip between his teeth.

Bella watched him lustfully, as his eyelids closed completely and he drew in a long slow breath, centring himself before his hooded gaze lifted again to meet hers. When their eyes locked, Bella was in no doubt about how much he wanted her – suddenly his eyes were dilated and dark and the smile had vanished from his face, replaced by a fiery heat which flickered in the cool jade depths of his irises, where Bella could see her own tiny image reflected over and over.

Hastily working his hands underneath her ass, Edward lifted her up and brought his mouth down on hers with a bruising force, which crushed her even more tightly against the wall and made it hard for her to breathe. Unable to use his hands, but needing to feel more of her, he feverishly rubbed his body against hers, distractedly bending down to bite and suck at one of her nipples through her clothing, before crashing his lips back to hers and forcing his tongue into her mouth.

Returning his kiss with a passion that matched his own, Bella wound her arms tightly around his neck and levered herself further up his body. Supported by the wall and Edward's hands which were gripping and kneading her bare ass, she ground herself into him, feeling his cock twitch and grow even harder between them, as Edward once again blindly slammed her back against the wall, with a force that set the security chain on the door jangling.

Suddenly appearing to remember they were both naked from the waist down, he stopped kissing her for long enough to strengthen his supporting grip and after lining himself up, he plunged into her with one long thrust, which made them both groan loudly in unison.

Stilling for a moment, Edward took a second to savour the pleasure, before pulling out and slamming back in, with a ferocity which made Bella writhe helplessly and grab at his hair and his shoulders. Already panting and with his eyes fixed on where they were joined, Edward added a twist of his hips, which made Bella moan and clutch at him even more desperately.

Knowing he wasn't going to last long, Edward altered the angle again, holding Bella tightly in place against his body, so that with every stroke he rocked and ground against her clit, making her shudder with pleasure. Already he could feel her muscles tensing and he knew she was close as he began to speed up. Hampered by their clothing, Edward wished he'd at least stopped to remove their coats, but although sweating and shaking with the effort to control his movements and not lose it completely, or hurt her in the process, he gritted his teeth and somehow managed to maintain his rhythm.

Suddenly Bella was holding onto him so tightly that her nails drew blood even through his clothes. She arched up and away from him, crying out as hot waves of pleasure tore through her, setting her whole body on fire and leaving her dazed and weak. Feeling every contraction of her muscles around him, Edward picked up speed again as she collapsed, panting, onto his chest, until with a few last jerky thrusts he felt his own orgasm surge through him so strongly that his vision clouded and he felt as if he was about to pass out. Blindly he searched for her mouth and continued to kiss her until the feel of her body and the thundering beat of his heart were all he was conscious of.

Unable to let go of each other or stop kissing, they stayed wrapped in a world of their own for several minutes, until Edward finally gave in to gravity and allowed their tangled bodies to slide down the wall. Collapsing into a heap on the floor, they both lay still for a moment as they struggled to get their breath back. Then lazily smiling at the thought that they still had the whole evening and night in front of them, Edward reached over to lift Bella onto his lap, brushing her hair out of her eyes and kissing her cheek, while Bella nestled into his body with her eyes closed, gently cradled in his arms.

* * *

 **In the next chapter, Bella's life finally seems to be coming together & it's time for the magazine launch.**

 **See you on Friday as usual? Suki xx**


	31. Chapter 31

CHAPTER 31

For several weeks the euphoria of having Edward back wiped out all the reservations Bella had ever had about their relationship. Edward was the perfect partner and he could do no wrong now that he was unfailingly attentive and considerate and seemed to be doing everything he could to erase the memory of the last uncomfortable month.

Convinced that from now on things could only get better, Bella began to feel all her old passion and self confidence returning in abundance. She tore through her work with an energy and light hearted enthusiasm which endeared her to colleagues and clients alike and at home the same need to find an outlet for all the renewed optimism she was feeling, led to a flurry of cleaning and baking and a series of bold and colourful paintings, which she poured all her feelings into.

Afraid at first that Edward would find her high spirits grating, childish, or vulgar, in contrast to his own unfailingly measured and considered reactions, Bella tried to tone down her happiness in his presence. But like the spring sunshine which streamed through the open windows, her feelings couldn't be repressed and burst out into smiles and laughter and a burning need to be physically close to him, which Bella couldn't hide.

Fortunately Edward was entranced rather than affronted and every day he seemed to look at her more fondly. Although Bella couldn't entirely soften the rather stern and aloof side of his nature, she felt she was making headway, and in any case this hint of an overpoweringly masculine desire to exert his will, was part of what made him so dangerously attractive and Bella's heart still fluttered at the slight touch of arrogance which lay behind even his most captivating smile.

Almost immediately, their life together began to settle into a busy but enjoyable routine. Although they both continued to put in long hours at work, they also made sure to make time for each other, especially at the weekends, when they lazed in bed, cooked cosy meals together, watched TV and generally concentrated on getting to know each other better.

They even began to do normal things that other couples did, such as going out to restaurants and to the movies and Bella dragged Edward to galleries and into the local shops and markets, intent on finding a few colourful items to brighten up the masculine severity of his flat.

As everything was already well in hand for the magazine launch at the end of March, Edward took Bella away to Paris for Easter, which fell earlier in the month. By chance they also realised this was the anniversary of the very first time they had laid eyes on each other, in the café across the street from Bella's old flat (which was now rented out to the friends Carlisle had brought back with him from Italy).

Jokingly promising to bring the sparkly red dress along so that they could re-enact their first meeting, they spent a magical few days roaming the city hand in hand, before returning to their five star hotel where they made love for hours and slept and made love again and enjoyed being together in all the small ways Bella had never really believed would be possible. On the last night Edward brought tears to her eyes by presenting her with the most stunning Cartier diamond earrings, for no other reason except that he could, and because he said he wanted her to have something as beautiful as she was to him.

In many ways Edward had come so far. Bella finally felt he trusted her enough to properly communicate with her and he often talked about his work and even confided a few more details about his past and about his sister Alice, as if a barrier was finally beginning to crumble.

Bella had also encouraged Edward to invite Rose and Emmett over for dinner and it was such a success that they now spent regular evenings in each other's company, relaxing and eating and drinking a lot more than was good for them. At some point Edward and Emmett would always begin to reminisce about their schooldays, vying to drag up the most embarrassing and compromising incidents, which had everyone in fits of laughter and often provoked Emmett into re-enacting some of the most dangerous stunts, or challenging Edward to physical shows of strength, which rather surprisingly Edward usually won.

However, beneath the otherwise idyllic quality of her new life, Bella still had the feeling that Edward was deliberately concealing something from her. Not only was he still suffering from nightmares, but it also worried her slightly that although their lovemaking had lost none of its intensity, she began to sense he was not always so careful with his sexual partners. Even when he'd thought she was deceiving him, he had always been protective of her and taken care to never come close to breaking certain boundaries he had obviously set.

Frustrated at being treated as if she would break, Bella tried being more demanding and aggressive in bed, in an effort to wrest control away from him and encourage him to let go. But even in the throes of passion there seemed to be a point just the right side of adventurous, beyond which he refused to step.

Bella was torn. She didn't want to be put on some sort of pedestal, but she was afraid to reveal she was not as innocent as he probably thought she was, which might risk shattering some fond illusion he had of her. If she pushed beyond where he wanted to go at this stage, she might lose everything she already had. Did she even have any right to demand every last piece of him, just because he had every piece of her?

She wished she had someone she could talk to, but Rose was off limits due to Edward and Emmett's best friend status and the only other person she regularly confided in was Edward himself. Finally feeling she was perhaps being too greedy too soon and definitely feeling too needy at this still relatively early stage in their relationship, Bella decided to ignore the tiny blot on her landscape and just give things more time. After all apart from these vague worries she was blissfully happy in both her private life and her work and she hoped that if the magazine was a success, her job with Rose would continue beyond the year she had originally signed up for.

-ooo-

When the day of the launch arrived at the very end of March, Bella left a still sleeping Edward, to make her way into work at the crack of dawn. As she smiled at the security guard on the front desk, she tried to ignore the sick feeling in the pit of her stomach and do her best to convince herself that all the self confidence she had regained since Alex had drained it out of her, wasn't suddenly going to desert her again.

Too tense to wait for the lift, she ran up the stairs and let herself into the empty office to get started on the final rundown and as she pushed open the door she was met by the sight of an enormous bouquet of spring flowers and a box which contained the biggest cake she had ever seen. Already knowing that the size of the cake meant Emmett must be involved somewhere along the line, she reached for the accompanying card, which sure enough was from Rose, Emmett and Edward.

Although she got a little misty eyed reading their good luck messages, knowing they all had faith in her did her the world of good in bolstering her confidence and making her realise how much she had already accomplished. So vowing to leave every last bit of insecurity behind, Bella rolled up her sleeves, moved the flowers and the cake out into the communal space with an invitation to everyone to help themselves, and quickly got down to what needed to be done.

-ooo-

Despite a few minor glitches, the day went much better than Bella (and Rose) had dared to hope. The launch party, held at a hired room at St Martin's School of Art where Bella had been a student, had been packed with potential customers, critics and contributors, who all seemed highly impressed by both the content and look of the magazine, which Rose had envisioned as an international digest of all the latest art and design news. Aimed at generally keeping the cognoscenti on track, it provided a diary of upcoming events, including exhibitions, gallery openings, auctions and new museum acquisitions, as well as additional articles focusing on anything which was new and exciting in the art world, including up and coming artists.

Aware of her previous history (which Bella had confided to her from the start) Rose had initially taken the lead, knowing it was necessary for Bella to keep in the background as much as possible to avoid her past notoriety compromising the integrity of the project. But Rose was so proud of the work Bella had done that she couldn't help sharing some of the limelight with her and Bella was surprised to find that things had moved on over the last two years and hardly anyone was interested in the old scandal, or her association with Alex, any more.

Far from blighting the magazine's prospects, it was even suggested that there might be good publicity in promoting the story of how Bella had turned things around, after being so badly betrayed at such a young age. And although she calmly and politely declined to give any interviews and referred the journalists who suggested it back to Rose, inside Bella was jumping for joy and grinning from ear to ear, with the hope that perhaps her whole life hadn't been destroyed after all and she might finally be able to draw a line under the past.

Bella was so deliriously happy after this unexpected revelation that the rest of the day passed in a blur. She was rushed off her feet, but every so often she would catch Rose's eye and they would grin at each other excitedly, before moving on to the next guest and all Bella remembered afterwards was that she had smiled and handed round refreshments and copies of the magazine, while drawing attention to the illustrations from the first issue, which were hung all around the room, looking like an art installation in their own right.

The atmosphere was buzzing and so many people arrived that they almost had to start turning them away at the door, while the caterers called in more supplies. The general reaction to the totally revamped magazine was highly encouraging and by the time Rose and Bella finally said goodbye to the last few guests, they were feeling cautiously optimistic - they would have to wait until the write ups appeared in the press and the first issue came out, but if the today was anything to go by, it looked as if all their hard work had been worth it and Rose's new venture was going to be a success.

Afterwards everyone was too elated to go straight home and a large group of work colleagues and supporters, including some of Bella's old friends from her time as a student, decided to continue the party at a nearby restaurant and bar. And although Bella should have felt exhausted, she was still on such a high, that for once she gaily agreed to go on to dinner and then a night club. In fact nearly everyone ended up on a mad pub and nightclub crawl all around Soho, which went on into the early hours of the morning, and Bella for one was in such a good mood that she didn't want the evening to end.

* * *

 **Major meltdown coming up over the next couple of chapters. Sorry, bear with me if you can, the end is getting closer.**

 **xx Suki**


	32. Chapter 32

**WARNING ADULT CONTENT**

 **Mild BDSM so stop reading or skip this chapter if you need to. Thanks - Suki.**

CHAPTER 32

Bella glanced at her watch as she opened the front door, surprised to see that it was already past 3am. She'd been so busy catching up and gossiping with her former classmates that she hadn't been keeping check on the time. At one point there'd been a suggestion that they should go on to yet another club, but no one had made a definite move and gradually the crowd had thinned out, leaving Bella feeling rather let down and still buzzing from all the excitement and the congratulations she'd received.

Definitely feeling in the mood to expend the rest of her surplus energy on Edward, Bella walked into the bedroom hoping he wouldn't be too grumpy if she woke him up, but knowing his appetite for sex, she really didn't think it would be a problem. However the room was empty and silent. Both bedside lights were on and the bedclothes were neatly turned down, indicating that Edward was still up, but there was no sign of him.

Assuming he must be in his study, Bella walked down the corridor, humming a dance floor tune which had got stuck in her head and teetering a bit in her unaccustomedly high heels, which were sinking into the carpet. As she approached the door, Edward suddenly came out, making her jump with surprise and nearly overbalance backwards. Reaching out, Edward grabbed her upper arm quickly to stop her from falling and immediately accused her of being drunk. Blinking up at him with her heart still thumping from the surprise of his sudden appearance, Bella realised with a sinking feeling that Edward wasn't in a very good mood.

Suddenly remembering that although she'd enthusiastically phoned Edward to let him know how well everything had gone, she'd forgotten to switch her phone back on after the final presentation and also that she'd told Rose she was going home at least an hour, or even two hours ago, Bella realised that Edward must have been worrying himself sick about what had happened to her. She immediately felt sick herself that she had caused him so much unnecessary concern, because although she successfully ignored it most of the time, Alex remained a possible threat to her safety, which Edward was still struggling to come to terms with.

Realising how powerless he must have felt at not knowing where she was, or if she was in any danger, and how this would have fuelled his anger, Bella blurted out what sounded, even to her own ears, like a string of unconvincing excuses for failing to keep in touch for hours, hoping that it wouldn't take Edward too long to calm down, now that he could see she was definitely safe.

Looking at his expression, it didn't seem that was going to be any time soon though and judging by the firm hold he still had on her arm, Bella assumed she was not going to get away easily and would definitely be in for a full scale lecture. She also suspected there was very little likelihood of getting out of having permanent security attached to her now and she suddenly felt a hundred percent sober, as she realised how stupidly she had behaved, when one phonecall would have avoided any problem.

She was also remembering how the energetic dancing she had indulged in with several of her male admirers earlier in the evening and her high spirits after a day which had exceeded all her expectations, could have been misconstrued in any reports which had filtered back to Edward. Remembering how jealous and possessive he could be, Bella shivered with trepidation as she caught sight of a half empty bottle of scotch on his desk through the open doorway and realised he'd probably been sitting there for hours getting more and more wound up.

Still looking absolutely thunderous, Edward marched her into the bedroom and left her there, while he went to call off the search which had been started when she hadn't turned up an hour ago. Sitting on the bed, Bella was already feeling like a naughty child when Edward re-appeared, obviously fuming and barely in control of his temper. Raising her chin and determined to take her punishment head on, Bella couldn't help a tiny inappropriate thought that he was really sexy when he was angry and that in fact she had been quite turned on when he had marched her into the bedroom.

As she glanced again at his clenched jaw and angry posture and watched him visibly trying to get his emotions under control, she felt the tension between them slowly shifting into much darker territory. Holding her breath, she waited to see what he would do, aware that the savage glint in his eyes had modulated slightly, from pure anger to a more predatory look. Bella knew she should be afraid, but somehow the fear failed to kick in and she felt exhilarated rather than frightened.

As their eyes locked they seemed to be connecting at a primal level, which crackled with intensity. The lighting was dimmed and threw a warm golden glow over the room, highlighting the sheen on the polished surfaces and the rich fabrics the room was decorated with, but leaving the far corners in shadow and also throwing the contours of Edward's face into sharp relief, accentuating the stern cast of his features and the set line of his jaw. Feeling as if she had suddenly slipped into another world, Bella licked her lips, realising her mouth had gone dry with nerves.

As if this was a signal he'd been waiting for, in one quick movement Edward pulled Bella up against his body, grasping her around the neck with one hand, while locking her into place with a grip which felt like steel around her waist. His lips ground against hers and all thought left Bella's mind under a surging wave of lust.

All her weight was resting on him and her knees had gone weak, so it was no surprise when a second later Bella felt herself falling. Hoping she would at least land on the bed and not the floor, it took her a moment to realise that she had in fact been purposely manoeuvred to land face down across Edward's lap and before she could even fully take this information in, a hard slap landed on her upturned ass.

Jumping in both pain and surprise, Bella squirmed and half-heartedly tried to break free, but Edward only responded by holding her down more securely. Bella blinked hard and tried to retrieve her scattered wits enough to work out how she was feeling about this development. She should be shocked and annoyed, but as she heard Edward panting in time with her own laboured breaths and felt the muscles in his thighs tighten underneath her stomach, she had to admit her main feelings were curiosity and excitement.

As if testing her resistance, Edward landed a second slap in the same place, making her squeal and while the pain from the second slap dispersed, Bella tried to hold herself ready for the next, not sure if she liked this after all and wondering how soon Edward would relent and let her up - although she also knew without the slightest doubt that he would stop immediately if she asked him to.

So far her clothing had remained in place, but now Bella felt Edward slowly pulling her dress up and she stiffened when she felt him hook his fingers into her knickers and pull them down her legs.

This was a completely different situation and suddenly Bella realised she was holding her breath in anticipation. Now he had removed her clothing to expose her bare ass, the sensation of the cool air on the still slightly heated skin where he had slapped her, was tantalising, and the feeling of this one area alone being so exposed and vulnerable to him made her feel wanton and wicked. Already hot spasms of desire were shooting straight through her and she wanted more.

His strong fingers were now kneading her skin, occasionally dipping lower and pushing into her or fleetingly massaging her clit, making her moan and wriggle, but this time in an effort to find some relief. All of her attention was now fixed on the sensations he was drawing out of her and she waited for the next slap with increasing anticipation. When it came she cried out and then groaned, as a jolt of pleasure ran through her, making her shiver.

Now she knew there was pleasure mixed with the pain, she revelled in her punishment and Edward seemed to be determined not to hold back. Although he varied the position, each of the slaps was relatively hard and precisely aimed and she could feel her skin burning and reddening, as he mercilessly continued. Every so often he landed a slap right between her legs, making her whole body convulse in pleasure and jolting a strange keening sound from her lips which was almost animalistic in quality.

Bella had never felt such intense sensation, even the sound of his hand making contact with her skin, which was very loud in the quiet room, turned her on so much that she didn't know how she could take any more. She was a throbbing, quivering bundle of need and when Edward finally stopped after about a dozen slaps, she felt as if she would explode if she didn't get what she needed.

Roughly lifting her, Edward quickly removed the rest of her clothing and deposited her face down on the bed, where she lay panting, with her eyes half closed. After a minute she felt him move away from her and then heard the quiet swish of his dressing room door opening.

He returned within seconds and Bella felt him attach some sort of cuffs to her wrists. Still too overcome to even ask what he was doing, Bella decided to go along with whatever scenario he wanted to create, trusting him not to go too far, but wondering at the back of her mind why Edward had the handcuffs so close to hand. The next minute she began to understand the situation more clearly, when she felt the cuffs pulling her arms out straight, as they were deftly attached by ropes to what she had always assumed were merely ornamental iron rings on the bedpost.

The whole time Edward had been totally silent, but he now ordered her to get to her knees, in a voice which was harsher than she had ever heard it before. With her arms tied and stretched out in front of her, Bella slowly did as she was told, shuffling upright on her knees in the middle of the bed and flinching as he pressed on her shoulders, forcing her smarting ass down onto her heels. At first she was afraid she wouldn't be able to bear anything touching her there, but she soon realised that the pain was already receding, leaving a hot tingling sensation and a dull ache that made her aware of how naked and completely at his mercy she was.

With her body still thrumming, and feeling unbearably aroused and on edge, Bella tried to get her laboured breathing under control as she looked up into Edward's face and wondered what he had in store for her next,. She liked this game! But she wished he'd hurry up and give them both the orgasms their bodies were clamouring for. If her hands were free she'd definitely be reaching for his cock now, which was clearly straining against the confines of his tight clothing.

As Edward came closer, her eyes widened when she saw he was holding up what could only be a pair of nipple clamps in front of her and she realised that in this position she was virtually powerless to stop him doing anything he wanted to. With a sudden movement he ducked under her arms onto the bed and knelt facing her, quickly bending to suck one of her nipples into his mouth. After a second he let go before deftly attaching the clamp and repeating the process with the other nipple.

Bella felt her arms tug against her restraints, as she battled to absorb the sudden overwhelming pain. She held her breath as she felt her whole body tense and tighten. Shaking uncontrollably, she opened her eyes to find Edward staring at her face and for a second his eyes softened, as he whispered to her to breathe through the pain, before kissing her quickly and moving away again.

Although Bella's eyes were smarting, she drew in a deep breath and managed to do as instructed and gradually her body began to relax into a state where, although the pain still existed, it was dulled into a low undercurrent which mixed with the excitement and anticipation she was still feeling. The adrenaline which was now coursing through her body, pushed all her senses into overdrive. Suddenly she was hyper-aware of the smallest sensations, the sound of her own breathing, her increased heartbeat and most of all the feel of the air on her naked skin, which set all her nerves quivering.

She ached, not with pain but a raw need to be touched and used, which was making her almost frantic, while all around her she felt the tug and pull of the electricity between them as if it was a living thing. She trembled as she felt Edward lightly stroke her hair before pushing down on her shoulders again. But this time she was being bent forward, until her head and upper body were flat on the bed and her hips were in the air.

Then the mattress suddenly dipped as Edward stood up and at last she heard the rustling sound of his clothing being removed. Everything was quiet again apart from the sounds of their breathing, but Bella could feel his eyes on her and she knew he was admiring the sight of her reddened ass, raised up and on full display in front of him and instead of being uncomfortable or ashamed about what she had let him do to her, Bella felt another strong wave of lust course through her body, as she imagined the view he now had of her, open and wet and entirely at his mercy.

Over the next hour he alternately teased and punished her, while she begged, pleaded and cursed under the onslaught. However, somehow she always knew that as usual Edward was constantly keeping track of her reactions and would never give her more than she could take. Therefore the vibrator he mercilessly used on her was much more of a trial, than the flogger and the paddle he barely employed at all.

The fact that she was tethered and he had such total control of her body, felt strangely freeing and Bella soon realised that although this was something Edward needed to do, it also satisfied something deep inside her; the almost stylised interactions served a purpose in ratcheting up the tension and therefore the anticipation, in a situation where both their libidos had already been raised to an almost unbearable pitch.

By the end she felt as if she was about to overdose on endorphins and when he finally slammed into her from behind, she gasped with relief and almost orgasmed straight away. As their bodies undulated and twisted to the same savage rhythm, every thrust and grind from him felt as if they were finally connecting at the deepest and most intimate level and when he unexpectedly slapped her hard, leaving a darker handprint on the already fading pinkness of her ass, they both orgasmed simultaneously and he let out a deafening roar which seemed to echo around the large room before dissolving into the darkness.

Afterwards he gently removed the cuffs and the clamps, taking her nipples into his mouth again and sucking and biting them to relieve the pain as the blood flowed back. Then he ran a bath and insisted on washing and drying her, unable to stop caressing and kissing the small marks which lingered on her skin, but which would all have disappeared by the morning as if they had never been there at all.

Luxuriating in the attention Edward lavished on her and barely able to stop yawning, Bella watched him with an indulgent smile on her face, feeling exhausted but overwhelmingly happy, and strangely peaceful, as if something had at last been settled between them.

* * *

 **Next - Edward disappears and Bella makes an unexpected discovery**


	33. Chapter 33

CHAPTER 33

When Bella woke late the next morning to grey skies and a thick torrent of rain, which the wind was splattering across the windows in noisy bursts, Edward was gone.

Groaning in irritation and immediately knowing he was beating himself up somewhere over what had happened last night, Bella half sat up, then let herself flop back onto the bed, trying to think what her best plan of action was. It was so annoying when she'd thought they'd finally made a breakthrough. How could he possibly think what they had done wasn't consensual? He'd had her climbing the walls and she wanted to do those things with him again as soon as possible - just the thought of it was making her hot!

Quickly getting out of bed and ignoring the aching parts of her body, which would have encouraged her to dreamily relive all the bests bits of last night on a giddy loop if she'd let them, Bella grabbed her dressing gown and made sure Edward wasn't lurking somewhere in the flat, before checking her phone for messages and settling down at the kitchen table with a large mug of tea.

She refused to let Edward's all too predictable reactions put a damper on her spirits, but she knew she had to find him and have a serious face to face discussion as soon as possible, otherwise their relationship could spiral out of control again. She hoped he had at least gone to the office, or to see Emmett, instead of skulking off to brood on his own somewhere. She'd already tried ringing him, but his phone was turned off and she knew if she rang Emmett on a Saturday morning asking where Edward was, Emmett would know something was up. She didn't want to discuss her personal problems with anyone, especially Emmett, but really she'd got to the point where something had to be done.

In the end, Bella bit the bullet, hard, and rang Rose. At least the call wasn't anything like as difficult as she'd thought it might be; apparently Edward was with Emmett and they'd gone to Twickenham to watch the Harlequins play Gloucester. Rose even suggested Bella should come over for lunch if she was at a loose end, and thinking that as she was going to have to confide in Rose now anyway and at least she'd have some company, instead of moping in the empty flat all day waiting for Edward to come back, Bella decided to be brave and accepted the invitation.

-ooo-

When Bella got to Rose's house she was met by an array of healthy salad pots, which she picked at unenthusiastically, as they discussed the success of the launch party and Rose told her about all the brilliant feedback she'd already had. But when the chocolate cake came out and Rose's face took on a much more sympathetic look, Bella knew the conversation was going to get serious and she looked down, concentrating on the swirls on the top of her coffee and wondering where on earth she should start.

Still uneasy about going into specifics, or sounding as if she was complaining about Edward behind his back, Bella didn't know how to broach the subject of his erratic behaviour, and ended up by just saying that she was worried about the nightmares he was still having and was wondering if he should try getting professional help. Realising Rose would now think this was what they'd had an argument about and why Edward had suddenly gone off with Emmett, Bella kicked herself as she followed Rose into a smaller sitting room/office, to look up the contact details of the counsellor one of Rose's friends had recommended for Jasper.

Slightly surprised to learn that Jasper was in counselling, Bella looked at Rose as she continued talking while she searched through an untidy stack of paperwork piled on her desk. Bella was interested to hear how the right type of treatment had helped Jasper, but the next thing Rose said made her gasp in shock. Glancing up, Rose put a hand over her mouth and immediately looked contrite, as it dawned on her that Bella had no idea what she was talking about. Had that idiot Edward not told her that yesterday was the anniversary of Alice's suicide?

Sitting Bella in the chair in front of the desk, Rose stooped down and drew her into a comforting hug, as she explained that exactly three years ago Edward and Jasper had come back from a business trip to find Alice had committed suicide by slitting her wrists in Edward's bath. Unfortunately because she had only recently met Emmett at the time, Rose didn't know all the details, but she did know that Edward and Jasper had been totally destroyed by finding Alice dead and had both blamed themselves.

Reeling in shock and completely at a loss, Bella could only sit still, trying to digest these new facts. When Edward had told her that Alice had died, there had been no hint it had been suicide and that Edward and Jasper had found the body. She'd guessed Edward's nightmares had something to do with Alice's death and that he felt guilty in some way, but Bella still couldn't understand why he'd kept Alice's existence a secret from her in the first place and then continued to keep her in the dark about how she had died.

Distractedly, Bella realised that Alice's suicide and finding her dead body at least explained why Jasper had been so badly affected that he still needed counselling. She had only met him once or twice and although he was perfectly affable and good humoured, he'd looked slightly worn and unhealthy and Bella could definitely understand that the circumstances of his fiancée's death would be a very difficult thing to get over.

Seeing that Bella was barely aware of her presence and needed time to herself for a minute, Rose had gone back to the kitchen to make them both another drink, and while Bella waited for her friend to come back, she tried to distract herself by looking out of the window, then idly let her eyes roam around the room, until they settled on a collection of framed photographs which were lined up on the desk in front of her.

She picked up a picture of Rose and Emmett and smiled at how happy and in love they looked, but then felt sad and confused when she remembered how fondly Edward had looked at her as he tucked her into bed last night and how he'd held her in his arms until they'd fallen asleep. So why had he deserted her again now, after they'd made so many promises to be open with each other in the future and discuss any problems sensibly?

There were still so many questions Bella didn't have answers to. Was there any significance between Edward's actions last night and the fact that it was the anniversary of Alice's death? Why was he still shutting her out and running away from her, and why could he still not trust her enough to ever tell her the truth? She had tried to be understanding and make allowances for the ways in which Edward's past had affected him, but without any real commitment or honesty from him, what was the point of battling on?

As Bella went to replace the photo, she noticed another one next to it, which included a much younger Edward and Emmett. Intrigued, she picked it up and examined the four figures in the picture. It looked as if it had been taken when Edward, Emmett and Jasper had been at school or university. The three of them stood in a line with their arms around each other, laughing, as Emmett hoisted a child up onto his shoulders to pose for the photographer. Looking more closely Bella could see that although her hair was cut short, the skinny child, who was also shrieking with laughter, was a girl, and Bella assumed this must be the mysterious Alice.

Looking back at the other photos on the desk, Bella caught sight of another more recent photograph of Edward, which was pushed right to the back and half concealed. Putting down the others and pulling this one out, Bella realised she was looking at a close up of Edward and Alice, which must have been taken not long before her death. And suddenly, just before the heavy frame slipped out of her fingers and crashed to the floor, where it smashed with a force which brought Rose running into the room, Bella realised she not only recognised this grown up Alice, but she had known her.


	34. Chapter 34

CHAPTER 34

Shaking from the shock of what she had just discovered, Bella thought back to her second year at St Martin's, just before she had met Alex. Part of her tutor group's end of term assignment that Easter had been to organise an exhibition of the first year students' best work and Alice's delicate and ethereal drawings had been heavily featured in the show they were putting together to be held straight after the holidays. Their styles were totally different, but Bella, like everyone else, had been extremely impressed by Alice's work and although Alice was quite shy and seemed to have few friends in her own year, they had begun to form a tentative friendship, before the totally unexpected news of her death had been announced on the first day of the new term and caused the exhibition of work to be cancelled..

Bella had been sad at the time and wondered why someone so talented had felt there was no option but to take her own life, but as she really barely knew Alice, she had soon forgotten her, especially once she started her job at the gallery and all her thoughts had been taken up by Alex. What bothered Bella more now was the coincidence that they had known each other and also that many of their friends and acquaintances had commented that Alice and Bella looked so alike - with their dark eyes, dark hair and small stature, they could have been sisters.

Was there something much more disturbing about Edward than she had thought? Apart from all the other secrets he had tried to keep from her, was there something really weird going on? Had he recognised her resemblance to Alice and tracked her down because of it? She remembered how surprised and pleased he'd been when she had told him about her painting and asked him for permission to create a studio. Did Edward see her as some sort of stand in for Alice, either to be punished or to be saved, in ways he had failed to achieve the first time round?

Bella's mind was now going round in ever decreasing circles and she felt physically sick. Why hadn't she already connected the Alice she knew with Edward? At the back of her mind she had a vague idea that Alice had a different surname to Edward, but she felt so shocked and confused that she couldn't seem to think clearly at all and the more she tried to remember about Alice, the more the faint memories drifted away from her grasp. She had to get an explanation out of Edward as soon as possible, but looking at her watch Bella realised it was still early in the afternoon and Emmett and Edward wouldn't be back for hours yet. How was she ever going to be able to wait that long?

To make things worse she suddenly noticed tears were streaming down her face and Rose was staring at her as if she'd gone mad. Rose kept apologising for spilling the beans about Alice's suicide, thinking that was the reason why Bella was so upset. When all Rose's attempts to comfort Bella failed, she desperately tried to get hold of Edward, but his phone was still switched off. And when she tried to contact Emmett instead, she heard ringing nearby and tracked his mobile down to the hall table, where he'd left it behind in his hurry not to be late for the kick off.

Bella knew Rose was worried, but she didn't want to explain, she just wanted to leave. Perhaps she could do some painting while she waited for Edward. She left Rose's house and somehow got home, but she didn't remember how. Then she sat huddled on the sofa. She felt as if her whole world had collapsed and she wanted to scream until she couldn't scream any more. Only an hour or two had gone by.

Finally, as it began to get dark, Bella managed to pull herself together. She got up, washed her face and made herself a hot drink. She felt cold and tired but more like herself and when Rose rang to tell her that Emmett had returned, but without Edward, she apologised for her over-reaction and assured Rose she was fine now. But Edward didn't come back and Bella spent the whole night lying alone in bed, going over and over their whole relationship, looking for clues and trying to puzzle out Edward's motivations.

In the morning she went to Edward's office hoping he'd spent the night there sleeping on the couch, as she knew he had in the past when he was very busy with work. Luckily the security guard remembered seeing her with Edward and after a little unwelcome flirting, he let her in. She made her way upstairs to Edward's office, but it was empty and silent and there was no sign that he had been there recently. She wandered around the room, thinking how strangely tidy and impersonal it was without Edward's dominating physical presence. His desk was clear of papers and everything to do with his work must be locked away. There was barely anything to even show the office was in use.

Not knowing what to do next, Bella ran her fingers over the tops of the filing cabinets, tried out some of the chairs and inspected the art works on the walls, before stopping in front of the large windows. She looked out at the buildings across the street and then down at the traffic and the people on the pavements below her, wondering where Edward was and what he was doing. Despite all her new uncertainties and questions, she was surprised at how much she still missed him and the thought that he might already be with someone else and might reappear only to tell her he wanted nothing more to do with her, filled her with despair.

Knowing there was no point staying there any longer and perhaps ending up waiting around for hours, she walked around the room again, having a last look for anything which might give her a clue about where Edward had gone. She had never noticed the picture frame on his desk before – it held a copy of the same photo she'd found at Rose's house. She stared at the picture of Edward and Alice for several minutes, trying to guess their secrets, before wearily leaving it face down where she'd found it.

Suddenly the door opened behind her and Bella swung round with a gasp expecting Edward to walk in, but it was only Jasper. They smiled at each other politely, not knowing what to say. He was obviously wondering what she could possibly be doing there, alone in Edward's office, early on a Sunday morning. Although they had met a few times, they'd barely spoken to each other before and Bella was always slightly ill at ease in his company, for reasons she couldn't really explain. Sometimes his surprisingly piercing blue eyes seemed to be trained on her too intently for comfort, but maybe it was just that she didn't want to be infected by his obvious sadness.

Suddenly and without any identifiable cause, Bella started to cry again. Swaying on her feet as tears began to run down her face, she wrapped her arms tightly around her body in an effort to keep out the pain. But despite Jasper's presence, to her utter embarrassment she was powerless to stop the flood of emotion which was coursing through her and she was soon sobbing uncontrollably, with a force which made her chest heave, her head ache and her face turn red.

Instead of being horrified and making a quick exit as Bella expected, Jasper stayed by her side, radiating a quiet sympathy and calm which eventually helped her to get her tears under control. After a few last hiccups, she even managed a watery smile when he suggested a sit down and a quick cup of coffee in his own office just along the corridor, before she had to go back downstairs and face the security guard again.

On the way he pointed her to the women's washroom so that she could tidy up a bit, and when Bella got back after splashing her face with cold water and combing her hair, he was busy with the coffee machine and even had a packet of digestives at the ready.

Jasper's room was slightly smaller than Edward's and definitely less grand and as Bella settled into a comfortable chair which Jasper pulled forward for her, although she was still hiccupping occasionally, under his unexpectedly steadying influence, for the first time in nearly twenty four hours Bella felt her head begin to clear.

Busying himself with the drinks, Jasper wasn't putting any pressure on her to talk, but Bella felt she owed him an explanation and at the back of her mind she was remembering that from what Rose had told her, Jasper was possibly the only other person, apart from Edward, who might know exactly how Alice had died and why Edward felt so guilty about it. But given Alice was also the cause of Jasper's continuing distress, was she brave enough to even broach the subject?


	35. Chapter 35

CHAPTER 35

After sipping her tea in silence for a while, Bella looked up to find Jasper still waiting patiently for her to speak. She explained Rose had told her a little about Alice and then because Jasper didn't look too shocked by this, she asked him if he could possibly tell her what had happened. For a second she thought he would refuse, or say it was Edward's story to tell not his, but unlike Edward, Jasper had obviously learnt the hard way that talking was better than keeping things bottled up.

In fact Jasper seemed to relish the opportunity of talking about Alice and his whole face lit up as he began to tell Bella about their shared childhood. Jasper, Edward and Emmett had met on their first day at boarding school and had quickly formed a firm friendship, although they all had very different personalities, especially Emmett, who even at seven years old, enjoyed playing the big, brash American and was always unstoppably optimistic and outgoing.

Edward and Jasper were more alike, but while Jasper was popular, easy going and sporty, from the first there was something about Edward which was guarded and too intense, so that although he was also popular in his way and his wit and intelligence were highly valued, he had a reputation for being dangerous to cross and was always more respected than liked by their fellow pupils.

Because Jasper's home was near Edward's, they often spent the holidays together, usually with Jasper's family rather than Edward's, although for some reason Jasper had been present when Edward's stepmother, Maria, had first brought her newborn baby Alice home just after Christmas, when both the boys were eleven years old. Even at that age, it had been abundantly clear to them that Maria hadn't wanted the child and as the years went on she was both distant and demanding towards the poor little girl, while Edward and Jasper tried to fill the gaps as best they could.

Edward had been smitten from the first day and Jasper quickly realised it tore his friend apart every time the school holidays ended and he had to leave Alice to the uncertain affections of Maria and various nannies who were employed over the years. In contrast the holidays were filled with love and laughter, as even from a young age, Edward stole his tiny sister away to the gardens and fields surrounding his family home, or to Jasper's house, where the three of them spent many happy summer days together.

As they all got older and Alice herself was sent off to school, at around the same time Emmett and Edward went to Cambridge and Jasper to Oxford, Jasper began to see less of Alice and Edward, although the connection between the three of them remained strong. And it had been no surprise to any of them that after a gap of several years, during which Alice had grown into a rather shy but beautiful young woman, Jasper and Alice had met up again and fallen helplessly in love.

All Jasper's old feelings of protectiveness had returned, together with an absolute conviction that Alice was the only woman he wanted to share the rest of his life with, while Alice lost her timidity and came to life in Jasper's company, giving glimpses of the person she possibly would have grown into if she hadn't been bullied by her mother her whole life.

Jasper was aware that Alice had had some mental health problems in the past and to avoid the immediate strain of having to face up to Maria, they had decided to keep things quiet for a while, knowing that Maria would disapprove of their relationship, not least because she expected Alice to make a much better catch and was determined to personally select a husband for her when she thought the time was right.

The mystery of Alice's surname was also explained to Bella at this point, when Jasper mentioned that Maria had insisted on keeping her own name when she got married, because of her connection to a very illustrious and titled family and that Maria was hoping the family name would in turn guarantee Alice a wealthy and influential husband, who would elevate her own social position even further.

However Jasper had been instrumental in giving Alice the confidence to follow her own wishes for once and apply for a place at art college. And although Maria had insisted Alice's health was too delicate to begin straight away and made her spend a year at finishing school first, hoping the idea would be dropped, Alice was strong enough to defy Maria and take up her deferred place at St Martin's a year later. And because Edward offered Alice a room in the house he owned at the time, which was close to the university, there was very little Maria could do about it.

Freed from Maria's control, Alice had begun to blossom, and despite Jasper's initial reservations, she had finally coaxed him into a sexual relationship and a secret engagement. For a few short months they had been blissfully happy and were busy looking for the perfect property to buy and move into together.

But towards the end of Alice's second term at St Martin's, Jasper had noticed she was looking pale and tired, although she denied anything was wrong apart from all the stress getting everything ready for the art exhibition was causing. Knowing this would soon be over, Jasper decided not to make a big issue of it and instead, when Edward also saw how tired Alice looked, they decided to arrange a surprise holiday in Italy during the Easter holidays, so that all three of them could take a much needed break.

In a suddenly husky voice Jasper admitted that because Edward's business was expanding extremely rapidly at the time, neither he nor Edward had paid enough attention to what Alice was actually going through. They had both been too fixated on trying to fit in multiple business meetings in the week leading up to Easter, with the aim of leaving a totally clear week afterwards, so that they could all properly relax and enjoy their holiday together.

At this point Bella happened to look straight at Jasper just in time to catch the absolutely heartbroken look on his face, when he whispered that it was too late, because when he and Edward arrived home late in the afternoon, ready to surprise Alice and quickly get packed and drive to the airport, she was already dead. In that second Bella knew Jasper would never recover from Alice's death and that he would spend the rest of his life trying to find a way to live without her. But as Jasper cleared his throat, determined to finish his story, there was more to come.

At the autopsy it had been discovered that despite the precautions they had taken, Alice had been nearly three months pregnant when she died and Maria had loudly declared to anyone who would listen, that her poor baby girl, who had never been mentally or physically strong, had been preyed upon by an older man, who had ruthlessly taken advantage of her youth and impressionable nature. Alice had also been found to have scrawled a suicide message of sorts, in marker pen across her still flat stomach, which simply stated 'I can't do this'.

Jasper and Edward had immediately been crippled with remorse for not having found the time to make sure Alice was all right. Why hadn't they encouraged her to talk about what was worrying her so badly? Why hadn't they noticed she wasn't coping and that her mental state was deteriorating? With a single terrible action, Alice had left them with no means to apologise or to make amends. And the memory of that horrific last scene, when they had found her with slit wrists in Edward's bath, would always be superimposed over all their other memories of her.

No matter how much Jasper tried to hang onto the truth that he and Edward were virtually the only people who had given Alice any happiness or love in her short life, neither of them could help blaming themselves for not taking better care of her, or paying more attention when it mattered, and although neither blamed the other, the guilt they both suffered pushed them into a state of absolute despair, from which they had tried to distract themselves in different ways – Jasper by almost drinking himself to death and Edward by first of all becoming entangled with Kate and then, following a pattern which had established itself while he was still at school, indulging in a string of short term relationships which bordered on abusive.

At this point Jasper tried to smile, but he couldn't hide the stricken look in his eyes and Bella knew that his guilt had broken him even more than Edward's, because he had been the one who had got her pregnant and it was this which had driven poor Alice over the edge. Looking absolutely haunted and with all the colour drained out of his face, Jasper exuded nothing but raw pain as he relived his loss.

Bella's eyes watered in sympathy and with a sudden movement, she stepped over to him and folded him in her arms. She felt him shudder once and then become still, as she held him tightly and wished someone could relieve some of the hurt. But understanding there were no miracles, she reached up to give him a quick kiss on the cheek, before letting him go.

As Jasper went to sit back at his desk and they said goodbye, Bella thanked him for telling her the whole story, but she couldn't help rolling her eyes in exasperation at the continued absence of her own partner, when Jasper wished her luck with Edward.

* * *

 **That's not quite the last of Alice**

 **Six chapters left to go now - Edward had better come back soon**

 **xx Suki**


	36. Chapter 36

CHAPTER 36

Bella thought that perhaps Edward would be at home when she got back, but the flat was silent and empty. She had a lot to think about now and in a way she was glad Edward was still missing, because it gave her more time to decide what to do next.

Now that she knew Alice's story, she was less afraid that Edward had picked her out because of some weird resemblance and she was more willing to believe it was all just a strange co-incidence that she had briefly known Edward's half-sister and there were a few vague similarities between them. She was sure it hadn't occurred to Jasper that she resembled Alice physically, and their personalities were so different that only a complete stranger would think they were at all alike.

However it was possible that Alice's death and the guilt Edward was still suffering for failing to save her, were contributing to his overprotective feelings now and Bella knew that if this didn't change, she would feel more and more suffocated. Trying to shield her from his sexual proclivities, when in fact she was a more than willing partner, was also going to continue to cause problems if she couldn't get him to see this and stop treating her as if she was a total innocent, who would run screaming from him in horror at any moment, or who was so delicate that she would break.

But what if the damage went deeper? What if Edward's loveless childhood and the trauma of Alice's suicide, had affected him so profoundly that he would always struggle to return her feelings? His failed marriage was a permanent warning and sometimes Bella had a horrible suspicion that Edward was purposely trying to sabotage their relationship and drive her away for good. She had to be realistic and admit it was possible that he would never be able to have a proper relationship - that he might never be able to truly give and receive love because he was too emotionally damaged.

And even if that wasn't the case, if she let him get away with behaving like this and with refusing to talk, they would only continue to lurch from one crisis to another. They needed to trust each other and be honest, or there was no hope of ever working things out and seeing where their relationship would go. Bella was still fuming at him for leaving her in the dark about Alice, when he had made such a huge deal about her failure to tell him about Alex. She had promised to tell him everything in future and all the time he was still keeping his own secrets.

Bella understood how painful it must be for Edward to remember how Alice had died and why he couldn't bear to talk about it, but in closing himself off so completely he was only letting the guilt fester and poison everything around him, and Bella dreaded to think what else he might be concealing from her. How could she be certain there weren't going to be more secrets tripping them up at every turn?

Suddenly Bella felt very tired. She considered going back to bed, but as it was nearly mid day, she thought better of it and wandered into her studio instead. She stared at two half finished canvases which she had started when everything seemed to be going so well and she was hopeful about the future. Now they looked garish and childishly naive. Perhaps it would be better for both their sakes, if she stopped pushing for what Edward might never be able to give her. Perhaps they had got to the point where it was obvious their relationship was never going to work and it was stupid to keep trying.

Bella was convinced Edward would soon find someone better suited to him and fall back into the emotionally sterile relationships he seemed to prefer. But if she let him go, Bella didn't know how she was going to get over it. Despite everything, she still felt that somehow they were meant to be together and just thinking about not being able to see him any more was so painful that she could hardly imagine it.

However one thing was certain, she couldn't go on like this for much longer. Dealing with Edward was exhausting and she at least needed time to recharge her batteries. She hadn't seen Charlie and Sue since Christmas and the more she thought about it, the more appealing a few days in the country became and she decided to ring Rose straight away and ask for a week off.

After a lot of kindly meant speculation about why Edward hadn't been in touch with any of them, which Bella did her best not to get drawn into, Rose enthusiastically agreed it would be a good idea for Bella to get away from London for a while. She certainly deserved a holiday after working so hard on the magazine and once Edward turned up, Rose promised to make sure he contacted Bella first if he intended to follow her to Charlie's, so that at least she would have some warning.

Feeling relieved that she had a plan for the immediate future and wouldn't have to spend any more time moping around the flat on her own, while Edward was out burying his sorrows somewhere or other, Bella thought perhaps she'd try to take some inspiration from the change of scenery and start a new small canvas while she was away.

She looked around the studio for something to put her painting materials in and her eyes landed on the packing cases she'd stacked neatly against the far wall when she'd taken over the room. She hadn't opened any of them at the time because they were Edward's and she was in a rush, and afterwards she'd just covered them up and left them. Since then they'd become part of the furniture, but she remembered that although some of the boxes were heavy, others had felt quite light, as if they were fairly empty. Perhaps she could combine the contents of two of them and use the spare one to transport her paints and canvas in?

After removing the dust sheet which was draped over them and the sketches which were lying on top, Bella almost had second thoughts, but she told herself she was just being silly. She knew that when Edward had broken up with Kate, he had moved into a hotel and put all his possessions into storage, and judging by the markings on the outside, these were just the last few non-essential items, which he hadn't had the time or inclination to deal with yet.

She'd stacked the lightest boxes on top, so Bella cut through the sealing tape and gingerly opened the one nearest to her, which was resting on top of two others. Lifting up the lid and pushing aside a layer of tissue paper, she was puzzled at first when she saw purple chiffon and pink lace, but when a slightly musty aroma of expensive scent wafted up into her face, she immediately knew she was looking at women's clothes - and not any woman's clothes, Alice's clothes.

Bella put the open box on the floor in front of her and lifted out the purple frock which still had a price tag on it. By chance she had happened to be with Alice when she'd bought it and she knew Alice had intended to wear it to the show they'd been working on. Putting it down, Bella went through the rest of the contents and found more tidily folded garments, all of which looked as if they were the type of clothes Alice would have worn, and emitted the same faint aroma.

The second box held more personal items, including a teddy bear and some antique looking dolls with painted faces and white lace clothes. Underneath there were letters and photos and at the very bottom, three trinket boxes with very expensive looking jewellery still inside, and a piggy bank which was almost full of money.

The last box contained what must have been Alice's favourite novels. Bella pulled out some of her own favourites, including Pride and Prejudice, Emma, Jane Eyre and a very well read copy of Wuthering Heights. Opening this at the title page, she stopped to read an inscription which had caught her eye, but dropped the book as if it had given her an electric shock when she recognised Edward's elaborately precise handwriting, which he'd once told her he'd taught himself from old copybooks when he was a small child.

Bella had definitely seen enough now. She knew that if she opened the rest of the packing cases they would all be full of Alice's possessions and she shivered, because all this time she had been sharing her studio with a ghost.

* * *

 **Hi, I'd like to say a very big thank you to everyone who has been kind enough to rec this story – it was totally unexpected and I'm quite overwhelmed by the support over the last week or two.**

 **I'm not on social media so I don't know who all the culprits are unfortunately, but I definitely need to thank EdwardsFirstKiss who's been pimping this out all over facebook & Little Miss Norty who also gave me a mention when she updated her last chapter of Who Knew.**

 **Thank you to everyone who's left reviews and comments - I love you all , & hello to any new readers.**

 **Now, what can I tell you about next week's chapter? I know – Edward makes a decision.**

 **xx Suki**


	37. Chapter 37

CHAPTER 37

Suddenly feeling slightly nauseous, Bella began to worry about why Edward had all Alice's possessions boxed up in his flat. Was there something sinister going on after all, or had Edward put off sorting through all these personal items because he was still too upset to face it, or because he simply hadn't had the time to get round to it?

Feeling as if she had disturbed some sort of sacred memory and hoping Edward wouldn't think she had deliberately been rifling through his things, Bella just wanted to tape the boxes up and put them back. But bending down to pick up the book she'd dropped, she saw a folded sheet of paper lying on the floor, which must have been tucked inside it. Noticing Edward and Jasper's names were written at the top, her curiosity got the better of her and she opened out the single sheet of A4 paper and began to read.

First of all she turned to the back page and saw with a shock that it was signed by Alice, then with a churning feeling in her stomach and with hands which had begun to shake, Bella took the letter over to the window, to try to get some more light from the chilly overcast sky to read it by.

To begin with the scribbled writing in purple ink was difficult to decipher, but Bella persevered, realising the more she read, that Alice must have written this letter just before she died. As she read further, her eyes widened in growing disbelief and by the time she got to the end of the second page, Bella was certain that what she held in her hand was, in effect, an undiscovered suicide note.

She had to go and find Jasper at once.

-ooo-

Edward rolled over in bed, shielding his bleary eyes from the bright midday sunlight, which had broken through a chink in the heavy clouds and was suddenly flooding through the window of his hotel room. He'd been so drunk when he fell into bed that he hadn't even thought to close the curtains first.

Still trying to avoid the blinding light and realising he was probably in for the mother of all hangovers, he reached for the bottle of water he'd left unopened on the bedside table, then groaned from the effort and lay still for a while, wondering if he had the energy to get up.

Disjointed images from the night before swam into his head. After he left Emmett he'd gone on a pub crawl, before getting into a fight, which fortunately he'd emerged unscathed from after giving his opponent a bloody nose. After that things got a bit blurry and the last thing he remembered was arguing with the desk clerk downstairs, who had refused to give him a room because he was so drunk he could hardly stand.

The astronomical price he'd finally been charged must have gone some way towards convincing the hotel manager to reverse the decision and turn a blind eye to his inebriated state and his dishevelled, blood spattered clothes and Edward suddenly had a humiliating memory of being half escorted and half carried up to his room by two burly porters. At least when he staggered over to the bed and passed out, he'd finally succeeded in blocking out all thoughts of Bella. But now he was paying the price, and he groaned again as the ceiling tilted towards him and the room began to spin at an alarming rate.

Even though he felt so awful, Edward was unable to lie still for long and after a few minutes he dragged himself out of bed and into the shower. He knew he should go home, but without any clear decision about what he was going to do or say when he got there, it was pointless. He needed more time to get the chaos in his head under control - his thoughts were still too jumbled and the memories too painful to even attempt to think things through yet, especially now that his skull felt as if it was about to split apart.

He'd intended to drop into the office for half an hour this morning to sign off some urgent contracts and it occurred to him that the calm and businesslike environment might help him to focus. So after finishing his shower and hastily swallowing some painkillers, he rang his driver to ask him to bring a change of clothes to the hotel, before driving him into work.

-ooo-

By the time Edward arrived at the office his hangover was already receding a little, but as he stepped out of the car, he suddenly felt extremely light-headed and realised he couldn't remember when he'd last eaten. Veering away from the entrance to the building, he turned and made his way towards a pub in the next street, thankful that because the area was deserted at the weekend, it wouldn't be too crowded or noisy. And once inside, he joined the few lunchtime regulars at the bar and ordered a coffee and a sandwich.

At first the football match playing on the large screen on the opposite wall distracted him a little, but as everyone else became engrossed in the game, Edward's attention began to wander. He absent-mindedly took his phone out of his pocket, but put it away again without switching it on, knowing that by now Rose and Emmett's worried messages and texts would have been added to Bella's.

He wasn't ready to speak to anyone yet, but he knew he couldn't keep putting things off. He had to face up to what he had done and decide what to do about it. A part of him had almost been hoping that Bella would make the decision for him and leave before he got back, but now that his brain wasn't so fogged with alcohol, he was suddenly overwhelmed by pain at the thought.

With a sigh he took a fresh cup of coffee over to an empty table at the back of the room and finally let his mind go back to Friday night. Disconcertingly, despite the guilt which had begun to torture him almost immediately afterwards, the memories still aroused him. Even during the weeks when he'd almost convinced himself that Bella was a con artist and a slut, he had managed to cling onto his self control, but now after one reckless night, he wasn't sure he was capable of restraining himself any longer.

Already the memories of her slick body and soft sounds were beginning to overpower his better judgment and the temptation to misuse the influence he knew he had over her was growing. He wanted nothing more than to rush back to the flat, pin Bella down and sink into her and the worst thing was that he knew she would be defenceless against the pleasure he could give her and it would take very little effort on his part to ensnare her completely, until she was as tightly bound to him as he was to her.

Even as he dragged his hand over his tired face and tried to pull himself together, he was unable to prevent more memories flashing in front of his eyes, torturing him even further. As if specifically posed to appeal to his worst desires, a series of high definition images of Bella repeated on an endless loop, tethered and helplessly spread out in front of him, displaying the lurid crimson marks of the flogger across her pale skin.

He groaned again with the thought that after all those months of effort, when he had watched his every step and reigned himself in so tightly, everything he had fought so hard to hold onto had been lost, because he hadn't been able to control his anger and jealousy when it mattered. After the immense relief of finding Bella was safe and well, something inside had given way and the monster in him had needed to remind both of them that Bella was his and only his.

He had tried so hard for so long to keep that part of his life completely hidden and separate from Bella, shuddering at the thought that she would ever come into contact with the world he knew, let alone discover how deeply engrained it was in him. He remembered how sickened he'd been when he'd first found out he shared his father's sexual appetites and although he'd completely shaken off those feelings as he got older and quickly realised that nothing was off limits between consenting adults, something about Bella had brought the old uncertainty and shame back to the fore.

His worst fear had always been that he would eventually drag her down with him and waves of intense guilt washed over him again, as he remembered the many promises he'd made to himself to protect and cherish Bella as she deserved. He wasn't stupid and he knew that somewhere along the line, his inability to save Alice had somehow become entangled with his feelings for Bella and that those instincts had intensified during the months spent hunting for Mike.

For a long time he had tried to convince himself that if he refused to acknowledge the feelings he had for her, they would die down into the type of brotherly relationship he felt he could handle. Once he'd begun to suspect that his feelings were deeper than he wanted to admit, he'd even tried to warn Bella off. But the day when he had rushed to Charlie's house dreading Mike had already got to her, had been the day he had realised how much he truly loved and needed her, and from then on, despite everything, he had selfishly tried to keep her.

Now the thought of giving Bella up was almost too painful to contemplate. She had brought something light and joyous into his life, which he had never experienced before. Even his relationship with Alice had been weighed down by fear, because from the start she had been so heartbreakingly fragile, that he had always suspected his efforts to protect her would fail.

In contrast Bella was so strong. He had seen her bend but never break. Somehow he felt as if he had finally found a home and to his surprise it had laughter and an easy sense of shared companionship and mutual respect in it. He couldn't imagine anyone else ever fitting him so completely. She supplied the qualities which balanced and softened his and with Bella at his side he knew he would always be a better person.

But how could she ever be better off with someone like him? How could she not be tainted by him? In the clear light of day, she must already be feeling sickened by what he had subjected her to. However much it hurt him to let her go, he had to do it. She couldn't possibly ever love him, or want to stay with him, now that she had some inkling of what he was capable of and by now she must have finally understood that he was no good for her. Even if it broke him completely, he would do the decent thing and at least let her go without a fight.

* * *

 **No Edward, wrong decision with 4 chapters to go!**

 **Suki**

 **ps thanks to the ladies of the Olderward Stories community for adding this fic to their list.**


	38. Chapter 38

CHAPTER 38

Bella had hastily picked up her coat and bag and was now sitting on a tube train, anxiously looking up at the route map every time it stopped at another station and wishing the journey wasn't taking so long. She was desperately hoping Jasper was still at work and hadn't already gone home, because she didn't have his phone number and had no idea where he lived. If she missed him, the only way to get in touch would be through Emmett and Rose, and Bella wanted to avoid the curiosity this would inevitably arouse.

The letter from Alice, which she had carefully refolded and put into an envelope, was addressed to Jasper and Edward and it was only right that they should be able to read it as privately as possible and at least have a chance to digest the contents before anyone else was told, if that was even necessary.

Looking at her watch as the train crawled into yet another station, Bella had to stop herself continually checking the letter was safe. As soon as she'd finished reading it her one thought had been to get to Jasper, but perhaps she should have stopped to take a copy. What if a sudden gust of wind blew the letter out of her hand, or her bag was snatched by a thief before she managed to find him? She knew she was being over dramatic but she was so nervous about the whole thing now it was difficult to think about anything else and the journey seemed to be taking forever.

Peeking at the envelope in her bag again, Bella wondered how Jasper would react to receiving a message from Alice after all this time. Would it make things better or worse to finally have an explanation three years later? After all it didn't alter the facts, it just threw a little more light on them and it wouldn't stop Jasper and Edward continuing to blame themselves for having been too busy to pay enough attention to Alice in the critical last few days before her death.

Looking at Alice's actions objectively though, Bella couldn't help thinking that even if they'd managed to avert disaster at that particular point, there was no guarantee the same thing wouldn't have happened again sooner or later. Judging by how strong Maria's influence seemed to have been, Bella was certain that it would have taken Alice a very long time, if ever, to have the courage to either question her mother's motives or defy her wishes.

Bella tried to imagine how Alice's life would have turned out if she was here today, but really it was impossible to tell. Perhaps she would never have been able to cope, but on the other hand, with Jasper and Edward's support, she could have become a perfectly happy and capable wife and mother. Although Bella doubted very much that Alice would have ever been ordinary - like her drawings, there was something other-worldly and ethereal about her, which didn't quite fit in with everyday reality.

The one thing Bella didn't understand was how Maria could have lived with herself afterwards, although perhaps it was significant that the first stroke she had suffered must have taken place within a few months of Alice's death. Jasper's account of what had happened had already proved to Bella how heartless Maria was, but the most shocking thing in Alice's letter, apart from the suicide itself, had been Maria's single-minded determination to break up Alice and Jasper's relationship and get Alice back under her control at any cost.

Already practically out of her mind with worry that she wouldn't be able to cope, Alice had gone to her mother for reassurance and help when she got pregnant, desperate to see things through and keep the baby. But Maria had systematically ignored her daughter's wishes and directed all her efforts into convincing Alice she was not fit to be a mother.

Having triumphed in her plan to bully Alice into having an abortion and following through by accompanying her to the first appointment and getting a date fixed for the termination, Maria had then turned her attention to persuading Alice she wasn't fit to be Jasper's wife either.

It had not taken long for Maria to convince Alice that Jasper would despise her for getting pregnant in the first place and would have broken things off himself if he'd known. Given Alice's now highly vulnerable state of mind, it was also easy to persuade her that in any case Jasper was better off without her and the best thing to do was to come back to live with her mother where she belonged.

In a few months, when Alice felt physically and mentally stronger and more able to cope, and had forgotten all this silly nonsense about going to art school and being independent, Maria would help her settle down with a nice husband, in a nice home of her own, where she would have plenty of money and everything would be done for her, so that she wouldn't need to worry about anything but looking pretty and continuing to be her sweet self.

Nevertheless, it was clear that despite all the doubts Maria had put into her head, Alice had moments when she struggled against Maria's interpretation of events, but knew she was not strong enough to defy her mother and keep the child she so dearly wanted. The first part of her letter began with a fairly straightforward explanation of what had happened and apologies for being so weak and so pathetic that she was unable to stand up to Maria and follow her own wishes.

However by the end of the letter, which was so badly written that it looked as if it had been scrawled by a young child, the words became rambling and incoherent and Bella could only imagine what depths of despair Alice had sunk into. Teetering on the borders of insanity, she had come to see suicide as the only means to escape being forced to give up Jasper and get rid of her baby. And she had also lost any hope of finding the strength to escape from the life Maria had laid out for her, where she would have been trapped like a caged bird and her fragile spirit would have died a little more each day.

Although she had thought she had no more tears left, Bella couldn't help crying quietly to herself again in the corner of the train carriage, sad for the awful waste and the effect Alice's death continued to have on those closest to her. She hated Maria with a passion, and if she could, she would have railed at her until she truly understood what a terrible thing she had done. But given Maria's state of health, any recriminations would be futile and Bella understood why Edward preferred to simply ignore her existence as much as possible. However, now that Maria was equally powerless and at the mercy of others, Bella couldn't help hoping that her past decisions had come back to haunt her.

-ooo-

When she arrived at her stop, Bella jumped off the train as soon as the doors opened and hurried through the deserted station and out into the eerily quiet Sunday afternoon streets. Luckily Edward's offices were close by and almost before she knew it she was running up the steps and yanking the heavy glass door open.

The same security guard from earlier in the day was still sitting at the reception desk and thankfully made no attempt to stop her as Bella made a beeline for the stairs. She smiled as she passed him, but was too impatient to find Jasper to wait and listen to what he began to say, and his voice cut off as she turned a corner and hurried along the corridor to Jasper's office.

Feeling too warm in her winter clothes, Bella blew a tendril of hair away from her face and stopped to take off her coat as she stood in front of Jasper's closed door. Now she was here she felt unbelievably nervous and had no idea what to say, but she knew she had to go through with it. So after trying to slow down her breathing and calm herself as much as she could, she tentatively knocked on the door.

Without any warning the door immediately flew open and Bella came face to face with Edward, who had stopped mid-sentence in the conversation he had been in the middle of and was now surveying her with raised eyebrows. At least he had the grace to look ashamed as well as shocked and he immediately began to apologise and explain how he'd ended up spending the night in a hotel. But Bella didn't have time for her own problems at the moment, no matter how much her heart rate had sped up at just the sight of him.


	39. Chapter 39

CHAPTER 39

Taking a deep breath, Bella skirted past Edward and purposefully made her way towards Jasper, who was sitting at his desk and looking extremely surprised to see her again so soon. She could feel Edward walking behind her as she dropped her heavy coat over a chair and opened her bag to take out Alice's letter. In a way it was lucky Edward was here, because his presence made the situation slightly less awkward and also meant she wouldn't have to go into a long explanation first.

As Edward came to stand next to Jasper and they both waited expectantly, Bella quickly told them she'd discovered Alice's things in her studio and that a letter had fallen out of one of her books. Registering their shocked intake of breath, but too apprehensive to take her eyes off the floor and look directly at their faces, Bella also explained that she'd known Alice slightly at college. Then dragging the envelope out of her bag with a shaking hand, she gave it to Jasper and walked out of the room.

Not knowing what to do next, Bella leaned against the wall outside Jasper's office for support, feeling, not for the first time over the last couple of days, as if she'd been put through an emotional wringer and come out completely drained. A second later the door opened again and she was surprised to see a rather pale but otherwise composed Edward, who quietly asked her to wait in his office down the corridor until he came to find her. Knowing they were going to have to talk anyway, Bella did as he suggested, while Edward disappeared back into Jasper's room and shut the door behind him.

After aimlessly walking round Edward's office several times, then testing out the chairs, which were all quite uncomfortable and gave the impression Edward didn't want anyone to either linger or feel at ease when they came to see him, Bella sat down at Edward's desk and prepared to wait for however long it took for the two men to get over their shock and digest the contents of Alice's letter.

Finding her phone was nearly out of charge, she turned to Edward's laptop instead and idly trawled a few websites while she waited, but she couldn't keep her mind off what was going on in Jasper's office. She knew she'd done the right thing in passing the letter on straight away, but it was still a horrible feeling knowing it was her fault that all those raw emotions would be stirred up again, when Edward and Jasper had already been so traumatised by Alice's suicide.

She could only imagine the ghastly sight that had met them that evening, when they'd arrived home and found Alice dead. From what Jasper had told her, although Alice must have intended to slit her wrists in the bathwater, she had panicked, and the walls, ceiling and floor of the small bathroom had been sprayed with blood, so much blood that Edward had almost slipped in it as he ran through the door.

Afterwards Bella had realised this gory scene must feature heavily in the dreams Edward was still plagued with and she shivered again, hoping that she hadn't made everything worse. But before she could dwell on it for too long, Edward appeared in the doorway, holding her coat.

To her relief he hadn't brought Jasper with him. Bella had no idea what she could possibly say to Jasper and she didn't want to embarrass him by being a witness to the distress he must now be suffering. But that didn't mean she wasn't extremely concerned and curious, and she examined Edward's face as he walked towards her, hoping to get some clue about how things had gone. As usual, apart from telling her that Jasper had asked for some time on his own, Edward was giving very little away, but Bella could see the tension in his shoulders and in the set line of his jaw.

Slowly he walked over and leant against the desk in front of her, while Bella continued to look at him. Deciding that at least he wasn't angry with her, Bella asked how Jasper had taken the news and Edward admitted that once the shock had worn off, they had both been relieved that they finally had answers to some of the questions about Alice's state of mind at the time and why she hadn't confided in either of them.

As Edward had already done with Jasper, they sat quietly talking about Alice for half an hour and Bella was pleased to see that in some ways Edward finally seemed ready to let go of some of the guilt and find some closure. He also thanked her for being there for Alice in those last few weeks. He vaguely remembered Alice talking about finding a new friend and being excited about the show they were putting together, which made Bella start to cry all over again.

Finally they sat in silence, both lost in thought, until Bella remembered she needed to tell Edward she was going to Charlie's. She knew it wasn't the best time to go and she didn't want to seem unsupportive, but she'd already told Charlie and Sue she was coming and frankly after everything that had happened, she wanted some time on her own even more now.

She told Edward how absolutely exhausted she was, and how inexcusable it was that he'd considered it was ok to just disappear like that and cause everyone so much unnecessary worry. Perhaps, while she was away, it might be a good opportunity for both of them to take a step back and think things through - they couldn't go on brushing everything under the carpet indefinitely and at some point they had to decide what they really wanted out of this relationship, and have a proper discussion before it was too late.

Bella desperately hoped Edward would meet her half way and understand they needed to be honest with each other, but as soon as she told him she was going away, she saw him start to close down on her and her heart sank. No matter how hard she tried to explain, it was obvious Edward wasn't really listening any more and eventually she began to panic, because she really felt they should try to get things out in the open before she left.

Bella knew he must still be brooding about how he had tied her up and, in his eyes defiled her, so she forced herself to ignore her embarrassment and talk about what had happened, because one of them had to and it didn't look as if it was going to be Edward. Away from the safety of the bedroom, it was difficult to sit there in front of him and speak so plainly, but she had to make sure he knew that she hadn't been repulsed or disgusted by what they had done in any way.

She tried to explain how the intensity of the experience had fit the depth of her passion for him, how she had finally felt neither of them was holding anything back and she had revelled not only in the delirious pleasure she had felt, but the strength of the connection between them, and she wanted more. As she spoke she almost pleaded with him to stop berating himself and own up to that part of his life. He had to take her off the pedestal he had put her on and see the truth of how good they could be together, as equal partners, both free to make their own choices.

But it was as if she was trying to communicate with a stone. The expression on his face was lifeless and cold and suddenly her despair turned into anger, as she realised that whatever she said it wasn't going to make any difference. Terrified that he had already decided to end their relationship, Bella wanted to reach out and slap him or try to shake some sense into him. But in the face of his unresponsiveness her anger died out as quickly as it had appeared, replaced by a kind of despairing hopelessness which chilled her to the bone.

Realising she wasn't going to get through to him and it was a waste of time arguing any further, she had no option but to return to the flat to pack her bag for the few days she was spending with Charlie and Sue. Wearily she waited while Edward phoned for a taxi and unable to stand the strained atmosphere any longer, once she knew the driver was on his way, she decided to wait for him downstairs, leaving Edward free to return to Jasper if necessary.

When Bella left the room she turned and looked back at Edward, hoping he would at least say goodbye, or wish her a safe journey, but instead of looking at her, he was staring into space, with an expression on his face which brought a lump to her throat and tears to eyes, as she blindly ran down the corridor towards the stairs.

* * *

 **Well that's given Edward the perfect opportunity to follow through on his decision to let Bella go - I hope all of you who've been pushing for her to go back to Charlie are happy now lol!**

 **Umm next chapter Bella packs her bag, or maybe not.**

 **xxSuki**


	40. Chapter 40

CHAPTER 40

As Bella let herself into the flat, she was struck again by how still and silent it was - there was no indication at all of how much turmoil and heartache she'd been through in the last two days. Quickly she went to the bedroom to get an overnight bag and threw a few clothes into it, trying not to look at the bed and holding her breath so that she couldn't smell Edward's cologne as she passed the open door of his dressing room.

For a second she had a strong impulse to clamber in among the neat rails of shirts and suits and bury her face in the smell and feel of him, in case she never again got to pounce on him as soon as he arrived home from work, to run her hands under his jacket, or greedily wind her arms around his neck until he bent down to her with an answering grin and a wicked look in his eyes.

Instead she ignored the ache in her heart and carried her bag out into the sitting room. Then after checking all the doors and windows were secure, she stopped for a minute to tidy up the studio. She'd left in such a rush to find Jasper that some of Alice's things were still lying around. Carefully and gently she replaced all the items in the boxes she'd opened and neatly stacked them away, ready for Edward to decide what to do with them.

To her relief they no longer made her feel uncomfortable and in a strange way she was even happy to have them there. After the events of the day, Alice had changed from being a threatening and disturbing presence, to someone who had properly said her goodbyes and was receding further into the distance.

Her possessions were already turning into mementos of a bygone time. Like stumbling across an old trunk in a dusty attic filled with faded ancient finery, old memories would soon condense into a few cherished photographs and although Alice would not be forgotten, the spirit of the person who owned these things was long gone and they finally belonged to the past.

Moving to the window, Bella watched the remaining clouds racing across the sky, driven by a strong easterly wind, and she shivered, not for past lives and past sadness, but with the sudden chill she felt at the prospect of leaving Edward. Somehow this parting was beginning to feel final and she wondered how things had come to this. She didn't understand why Edward had closed up so completely again. With every word and look he had seemed to be telling her goodbye and she didn't know how to stop him.

Knitting her brows, she continued to stare out of the window, as she tried to think how she could possibly get through to him before it was too late. As usual his determination felt inexorable and he was making things even more difficult by refusing to talk. Perhaps if she wrote down all her feelings, like Alice had, she might have a better chance of convincing him.

That definitely sounded like a plan she could work on at Charlie's. But for how long would she be able to keep risking the remains of her pride, in laying her soul bare and continuing to plead with Edward to let her in? For how much longer could she keep doing all the work in their relationship, when the sensible choice was to cut her losses and admit she didn't have the strength to go on?

It wasn't as if she hadn't been bruised and battered by life too. Sometimes it took all her courage to ignore the voice in her head which insisted Edward was out of her league and she could never live up to his expectations. Whatever happened, life with Edward was never going to be simple and perhaps it was time to make hard choices. At the moment it felt as if leaving him would be like cutting off a limb, but surely the pain would lessen in time?

Why did he have to keep putting them through this? Sometimes she was convinced he felt the same deep connection she did, but his actions made it hard to believe. When he was not trying to convince himself she meant nothing to him, he seemed to vacillate between warning her off and refusing to let her go and although she knew now that part of this erratic behaviour was caused by guilt, she still had no idea what else was behind it.

Wondering whether she was missing something obvious, Bella thought back over the last year, since she had walked through the door of the café and first laid eyes on him, but all she came up with was a reflection of her own insecurities, which seemed absurd.

She knew Edward had allowed her to get closer than perhaps anyone other than Alice ever had - to the man she loved, who was caring and supportive, who encouraged her in her career and in her art, who made her laugh when she tried to be cross with him, who was the best friend she had ever had and who, despite the very real difficulties in their relationship, still made her heart skip when he was near.

But to have any chance of unravelling the emotions Edward held so tightly locked inside, Bella needed to look deeper still and she tried to picture his face when he let his guard down a little - when he met her eyes and smiled at her in quiet moments, or when his eyes found hers across a crowded room, or when he held her in his arms as they drifted off to sleep.

Concentrating hard, it slowly dawned on her that the most recognisable emotions were an immense tenderness, coupled with a sadness and resignation which suddenly made her heart lurch. And today when she had run out of Edward's office, she had failed to properly register the look on his face, but now her brain made the connection – it was the same heartbreakingly bereft expression Jasper had when he talked about Alice's death.

Suddenly everything began to fall into place and the more Bella thought about it, the more she was convinced that Edward's worst secret was not that he was incapable of loving anyone, but that he had never believed anyone could really love him, or that he even deserved to be loved, and that somewhere deep inside he was still the lonely child who could never win his mother's attention or his father's affection, but who would die first rather than admit that he cared.

It seemed unbelievable, but could Edward really feel that he was unworthy of her? And could he really be so blind and so arrogant as to think it was best for her if he let her go? Bella felt like screaming in frustration and already her heart was sinking, because she knew that if he really intended to shut her out of his life for her own good, there would be very little she could do about it.

But she had to admit that although Edward had consistently underestimated her resilience and the strength of her feelings for him, and insisted on making choices for both of them without her consent; she hadn't been fair to him either. She'd known he was damaged and broken in some ways and that he needed help, but at the same time she'd believed the lie - she'd fallen for the physical beauty, the confidence and the polished surface he presented to the outside world and although all those things were also true of him, he wasn't superhuman.

They both had similar issues about self worth and with trust, and she'd been so overawed by the fact that he seemed to have chosen her of all people, that she'd almost made the same mistake that he had - she'd never believed in her heart that she was good enough for him. In a way they were both cowards, they'd both been too afraid to even risk saying the words "I love you" and because she hadn't really let herself believe that he needed her, when he needed her most she'd almost turned her back on him.

Edward was worth fighting for, but if there was going to be any hope of any change for the better, they both had to be brave enough to get over their fears and admit the depth of their feelings for each other. If they could both try to believe they were at least worthy of each other, they had a chance, and although Bella knew she was going to have to give Edward space for a few days, she was determined to get through to him somehow. She was still going to write down all her feelings and the first thing she would put in her letter to him was that she loved him. She would also do her best to make sure he got some counselling. If Jasper could find some measure of peace so could Edward, and maybe the nightmares would finally end.

Feeling much more optimistic about the future now, but suddenly remembering she had a train to catch and that Charlie and Sue would be waiting for her, Bella checked her watch and turned towards the door, only to realise with a sudden shock, which drained all the colour out of her cheeks, that Edward was standing in the doorway silently watching her.

* * *

 **Final chapter next week.**

 **As this is the first thing I've ever tried to write, please leave a review/let me know what you think at the end - so I can try to do better next time!**

 **xx Suki**


	41. Chapter 41

CHAPTER 41

Unable to decipher Edward's expression, which looked extremely sombre, and immediately afraid that he had come to tell her he'd decided their relationship was definitely over, Bella froze in the middle of the room, unconsciously wringing her hands as she waited to hear the words which would confirm her worst fears and break her heart.

Tears were already welling up in her eyes, and seeing her distress, Edward stepped forward and wrapped her in his arms, slowly rubbing his cheek against the silky softness of her hair, as he closed his eyes and inhaled her scent in an effort to calm his suddenly racing heartbeat.

Moving back a little, he scanned her face, before seeming to come to a final decision.

"Bella, I have to tell you that whatever happens I can't let you go. I love you."

Stupidly all Bella could do was stand there, too shocked by what he had said to either move or speak. A jumble of emotions was whirling around in her head, making her feel slightly dizzy, and her main thought was that she needed to sit down.

She vaguely knew she should have been pleased he'd said the words she'd been waiting for, but despite all her earlier resolutions she still couldn't quite believe he meant them. Perhaps he would be better off with someone more like Jane, someone who completely understood his world and would always know how to behave and how to respond. Was she really what he wanted or needed?

Seeing Bella standing there looking deathly pale with that uncertain look on her face, made Edward begin to worry that after all it was too late, that his coldness had finally driven her away. But he knew now that he at least had to try to convince her, or he would regret it for the rest of his life and in the end he decided to admit all of the truth, to himself and to her.

"Bella, how can you still not understand, you ridiculous woman? You saved me. I was barely existing and you brought me back to life. I love you so much. Please don't give up on me now."

Perhaps it had been the recent reminders of Alice's pitifully wasted life, but when Edward had phoned downstairs to make sure the cab had picked Bella up, the relief he'd expected to feel in doing the right thing and letting Bella go, failed to materialise and instead he was hit by a crippling wave of pain, which was so much worse than anything he'd already suffered over this nightmare of a weekend, that he instantly knew he'd made a terrible mistake.

The thought that he might have messed his life up so completely this time, that there was no possibility of going back, filled him with dread, but finding Bella wasn't answering her phone, all Edward could do was to leave a message apologising and asking her to wait. Then barely stopping to check on Jasper, and loudly cursing his colossal stupidity, he ran out into the street to search for a taxi, desperately hoping Bella wouldn't already have left for Charlie's before he could get to her and beg her to give him another chance.

The flat felt so empty that at first he'd thought he was too late and he'd had to battle against an unaccustomed surge of panic as he ran from room to room. And when he caught sight of Bella through the open door to the studio, the relief was so overwhelming that he promised himself if she would only give him the chance, he would do everything in his power now to make her happy.

Whether that meant hearts and flowers, handcuffs and blindfolds, a cottage in the country with roses round the door, or revealing every thought and emotion he'd ever had, it didn't matter. Because in that moment, before she'd turned and seen him standing in the doorway, the last piece of the old Edward had slipped away.

He'd been so blind and so stubborn not to have realised it before, but despite trying to cling onto all his old certainties for so long, he had been imperceptibly changing and healing from the very first moment she had stumbled into his life and now he truly understood that Bella was, and always would be, everything to him. Not only was he hopelessly in love with her, but he wanted the whole package: marriage, babies, growing old together. Nothing less would do.

He wanted to hold her and never let her go, and promise to be hers forever, but he couldn't risk scaring her by putting too many demands on her all at once. So having quietly admitted the truth, he waited as patiently as he could, while Bella turned his words over in her head. And as her eyes slowly refocused on his face, he saw the exact moment when she understood what he had wanted her to hear and the joy he saw bubbling up inside her was immediately reflected in his own eyes.

They would talk later, but for now, unable to stop himself reaching for what he had almost denied himself forever and barely able to contain the feelings which were flooding through him, Edward slowly coaxed Bella forward and began to unbutton her shirt, softly kissing each small area of skin as he uncovered it, making her smile and sigh as the familiar warmth began to spread through her body.

For the thousandth time Bella thought she had never seen anything as gloriously beautiful as Edward. She would always be amazed by the fact that somehow he had allowed her to lay claim to him and her heart suddenly twisted with the knowledge that in admitting he loved her, he had also given her the power to hurt him. When she thought about how much he had already been hurt in the past, she was still slightly anxious that she would somehow let him down or disappoint him, until it occurred to her that she was probably the best chance he would ever have of finally shaking off the experiences which had haunted him all his life.

Staring into Edward's eyes, Bella wondered how she could ever have thought of them as chips of green ice. In the bursts of strong sunlight which shone into the room as the clouds swept across the sky, she could make out small flecks of black, gold and amber around his pupils and as she melted into his touch, she felt as if she was being consumed by green fire.

Suddenly she remembered she had to tell him something too and she struggled in his arms, anxious with the need to make him understand. But after biting her lip and trying to collect her scattered thoughts, she smiled when she realised that after all what she wanted to say was really quite simple. Making an effort to look him straight in the eye, she therefore let go of the last of her fears and insecurities and finally allowed herself to completely believe in his love for her without any question.

"I love you too Edward, always and forever."

Her reward was the answering smile which lit up his face, softening his stern features and crinkling the corners of his eyes. With a joyful whoop he swept her back into his embrace, making her scream with surprised delight, as he crushed her against his body and kissed her with a passion which made her head spin and her pulse race in anticipation of what would follow.

Soon they were both naked and Edward reverently laid her out on the dust sheet she had forgotten earlier, against which her skin seemed to shimmer, so flawlessly smooth and pale in contrast to the rainbow colours of the paint spots splattered on the floor around them. Kneeling at her side, he drank her in with heavy lidded eyes and traced a slow zigzag trail across one breast and down her body, making her breath catch and shudder.

Moving his gaze, Edward smiled boyishly again, and ran a finger lightly down Bella's face as if he was making sure she was really there, before bending to meet her waiting lips. And as they swiftly became lost in each other once more, the sun came out from behind a cloud, wrapping both the oblivious lovers in a blanket of heat and throwing out a dazzling beam of light, which glinted off steel and glass as it swept across the tops of the tallest buildings, chasing away the lingering shadows and bathing the grey city landscape in a golden glow.

THE END

(sometimes only a leap of faith will do)

* * *

 **Thank you for reading my Twilight/New Moon story.**

 **Now that Bella (with a bit of help from Alice natch) has succeeded in rescuing Edward from self destruction, I'm leaving it there before the rabid hordes and the demon baby turn up lol!**

 **A huge thank you to everyone who's ever reviewed, rec'd or PM'd me with encouragement & especially to those of you who've regularly reviewed or otherwise gone totally above & beyond - you rock!**

 **It's been kind of fun but also very stressful & I need a long lie down now (too old for this!)**

 **happy holidays**

 **xx Sue**


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